So I turned 42 the other day and that forced me to come to grips with the fact that launching a service industry business in the middle of a global pandemic may or may not have been the shrewdest fiscal decision I've ever made, and the financial debt that I have taken on in the last three years has started to take a serious toll on my mental health. If you know me, you know the hardest words for me to ever utter are "I NEED HELP", but sad to say, it's gotten to the point where I can't suffer the elevated blood pressure, panic attacks, and sleepless nights any longer. And as my dear friend Doug Ralph, who encouraged me to start this fundraiser, put it: "That shit just ain't fuckin' worth it, man."

If I've ever done you a kindness, or made you laugh on IG during the World Cup, or you've ever had a good time at St Vincent, then I humbly ask: if you've got a buck or two to spare (and I totally understand if you don't - times are tough), I would greatly appreciate it if you could help me out. Your generous donation will go directly to paying off personal loans & the bloodsucking leeches at [insert bank here]. It'll be the best birthday present I've ever gotten, and I would be existentially indebted to you forever.

Alright I'm off to go dunk my head in a bucket of hot chicken grease. Thank you for listening. Much love to you all.