Help Frankie keep on rollin'

My name is Melissa, I am the wife of Frankie who is my husband, my son's best friend, and a role model for everyone to see that disabilities don't stop your ability to roll through life while navigating through many obstacles along the way. However, since January 2023, Frank has quietly been fighting a battle with a wound which is common in anyone who is paralyzed because of their inability to feel, or their inability to be able to get out of bed. When I met Frank, he was a person that I knew should find a way to speak to kids and adults across the world and show them what they can do if they stay positive. He was active, got around better than I do, and had more energy and positivity than anyone I have met. Not just positivity but an amazing sense of humor that included a joke with us that he stopped walking when I learned to walk since I am ten years younger.

With positivity also comes hardships that may get in the way of a continuing positive attitude. Frank is permanently disabled but never used that as a reason to stay home and not work. In fact, because he works he has never been able to get the assistance that he would if he did not work. This includes going through IVF to have our son Brayden that would have had all $30,000 covered. It includes having any modifications done to our home that we desperately need but he manages without it. Something as simple as it would be for us to get into a bathroom oftentimes means he crushes his fingers to get through the door if he does not angle his wheelchair correctly to get in. It includes trying since 2017 to get him into a handicapped accessible van that we could not financially afford because even though he was approved for an $88,000 loan, we knew we could not financially afford another $1,000+ payment for ten years while trying to conceive.

But he manages, he finds a way to find the positive in every negative. Until recently. After having a wound since January while working full-time, being an assistant coach for our son's tball team, and pitching to him every single day because Brayden wants to be the next "Aaron Judge". Despite needing to stay off his wound he did not want to let his son down and continued to play with him all while maintaining a home that I could not assist with for nursing school. I took him to the ER to further assess what can be done to close it due to it being on a scar from the many surgeries he's had as a child. There, he was referred to a local wound center. Because the wound was so small they suggested a wound vac. For those who are not familiar with this, it is a negative pressure device that sits on top of the wound to decrease air pressure(like a vacuum), regenerate blood supply, and help the wound heal more quickly. In two weeks his wound went from about 1cm, to over 5cm wide, 2cm deep, and over 5cm at the deepest of the tunneling hole over his sacrum, necrotic(dead) tissue, having chills, having no energy, and getting headaches. We took him to the ER to make sure he was not septic. After all testing, he was admitted because he had osteomyelitis of his sacrum. This is a severe bacterial infection that has gone to his bone. This was right before the fourth of July and he was looking forward to taking our son to see the fireworks. He missed taking him to see fireworks which he's done since Brayden was born. Brayden missed his dad and his mom because I had to work and could not miss work that weekend because I cannot risk losing my job because working part-time already causes significant financial constraints but my hope is that when I graduate nursing school that it will all be worth it.

Once he was discharged, this led to endless doctor appointments, having a PICC line through which I administer an antibiotic every 12 hours, myself changing his wound twice a day because insurance would only pay for someone to come out twice a week to change it once on those days and see the wound specialist once a week. After about 3 weeks post-hospitalization and antibiotics the wound doctor felt that now would be a good time to try the wound vac again and try to keep him out of his wheelchair and off his back. This further stressed him out as he is active, works, and already has to lose hours at work to go to the many doctors' appointments. If we thought that things could not get any more stressful, we received a letter in the mail stating we will lose our homeowners insurance in 90 days if we do not repair our roof that we currently cannot afford(thanks, solar panels). Following up with the infectious disease, more stressful news as he suggested seeing a plastic surgeon for input to get the wound closed immediately to stop the infection from traveling further. Today, the plastic surgeon could definitely close it but this meant he has at least 8 weeks to be in bed. He cannot go in his wheelchair at all for 2 weeks, and bed rest for an additional 4-6 weeks. He could continue the wound vac but there is no guarantee for closure however there is a possibility but could take a year to close if ever, and the risk of reinfection is high. I have not seen Frank cry but maybe a handful of times in the 11 years we have been together. It boils down to the freedom to move with the chance of never healing or the inability to move temporarily. He really wants to have the surgery and most people would be like it's only 8 weeks. What is stopping him? The fact that biggest challenge is Frank will not have income and temporary disability will cause us to lose our cars and/or our home. Myself starting back nursing school in September which means Frank will not have the ability to rest with Brayden having to go to school and get picked up. Feeling like he is letting our son down because he won't be able to play with him and he does not understand. And feeling like a burden to his family.

What I want for him is to be able to get back his life without worrying about losing his life from infection and not being able to watch his son grow up. While we may be able to navigate family or friends' help when they can during the 8 weeks he needs to rest, we absolutely cannot navigate financially not having our main income. In addition to the impossible medical expenses that we currently have and to accruing much more. While Frank has no idea that I am doing this until it is shared, he/we would never ask for help. If we were able to take out a loan to help us get through we would do that but the ones we took out to have our son in addition to paying for modifications so he can drive his van without harming his shoulders, and for tuition and not being able to work full time for another year and a half to make up lost income it is not possible. However, I want to try and make it possible even if it means having to lose our pride. If you can help, just know it is helping Frank be able to live his life and continue to further inspire me and others. If you cannot, feel free to share.

If you've read this far, thank you.