For many years I went on pretending to be okay. Thinking that I had my life under control and that I could manage my addiction.  But the truth is, and any addict will tell you this,  this is a lie we tell ourselves and the lie we believe. As time goes on, life becomes more and more unmanageable until you reach a breaking point.  At this point, you have two choices: point fingers at everybody else and continue the cycle of addiction, or humble yourself, come clean, and ask for help.  I decided to come clean.  After years of giving into my addiction, after years of lying to my wife and my family, I did what I thought I'd never be able to do, I told the truth.  For the first time I told the truth.  I wish I could tell you that it was a beautiful moment and that there was hugs and hand holding and everything else you see in the movies, but that's not reality.  Life is messy and I have a big mess to clean up. But I can't start until I clean myself up. I love my wife, I love my children and I love my family.  They deserve better than what I have given them. But that doesn't mean I cant change, I just need some help. I am currently trying to get into a rehab facility that is local here in Arizona  but they are asking $40,000 upfront cost for their 44 day intensive inpatient program.  It's a steep price, but I am willing to do whatever it takes to get there.  All of the money that is raised for rehab will be for treatment purposes only.   The sooner I get the funds the sooner I can go, and I want to go as soon as possible, I need to go as soon as possible. I have also looked into a rehab facility that is out of state in Tennessee . Again, they are out of state but less expensive. . I have set the bar for $40,000 which would allow me to stay local so that travel expenses will not be a factor for myself or my family when they come to see me, and I can go as soon as I get the funds.  However, if I can make a minimum of $30,000 this would cover everything for the facility in Tennessee. Every penny counts, no matter how much you are able to contribute, please know you will have my deepest thanks and gratitude.  Thank you and God Bless.