But all dreams end. We scraped enough money together to buy a beautiful house, and I started working a lot: to pay student debts, to pay for the house, and to pay for the money that was rapidly disappearing from our accounts. It took a while for me to figure out (you never suspect the ones you’re closest to), but I found he was using and selling methamphetamine.
He became abusive: emotionally, verbally, financially (literally draining tens of thousands of dollars from our account while not working), sexually. I sank into a deep depression and dealt with debilitating anxiety— I had no idea what was happening to me.
After an intervention from from my family and friends, I moved to a friend’s house temporarily to pursue marital counseling. He was not interested and moved another woman into my home within a few weeks.
The divorce which I had been dreading, was now imminent. And I wanted absolutely nothing from him. I would have given him everything. I gave him more than I should have because he begged for help but wouldn’t hold a job; he would bounce credit card checks into my account that would drain almost my entire paycheck. And though he was living in the house during the divorce, he couldn’t afford it or the utilities — I paid for everything. The judge awarded it to me at the end of the divorce, not that I wanted it. The house that I had wanted so badly, I now wanted nothing to do with because of the memories it held— but I was stuck with it, because only I could afford the payments.
Sadly, this enraged him, and he destroyed the house.
He went through room by room wreaking wanton destruction.
There was no rhyme or reason.
He even caught himself in the mirror in a picture.
The destruction was not covered by insurance because of a technicality. But it needn’t have mattered, because the meth levels in this house are so high, it’s uninhabitable. He was arrested for this act, but restitution is unlikely. Someone is also taking the opportunity to break into the house, and I believe it’s him. Whoever it is just continues to cause mindless destruction — not even stealing things of value that can be resold (like copper piping) — which makes me think it’s him, and he’s still trying to hurt me anyway he can. Thankfully, I’m safe, but the house just suffers a little more each time.
With mitigation of the meth and the rebuilding of the destruction, this house will cost about $50000 to repair. I am unable to save money for this because I am currently paying both rent for an apartment and the mortgage on this house. With my student debt and the mortgage, I am unable to qualify for any loan (including refinancing the house) due to my debt to income ratio.
My pride makes me hesitant to ask, but I do need help. This house wants to have a beautiful family living in it. It’s spacious, it has a great backyard, and views of Pikes Peak.
Any amount you could spare towards the repair of this house would be greatly appreciated. Please consider my plight. I plan to dedicate any extra funds to programs which educate those on domesticate violence. As soon as it is fixed up, the house is going on the market immediately.
If you can not spare money, but need help yourself, there are programs which can help you!
If you are considering suicide, The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is always available — 1-800–273-8255.
If you or someone you know is suffering from depression and anxiety, www.betterhelp.com will connect you via live chat with someone who can help.
If you or someone you know is suffering from drug addiction, contact the Drug Abuse Hotline (An American Addictions Centers Resource) at 1-877-714-3292.
And lastly, domestic abuse is an epidemic in our country. It’s insidious, and it’s shameful, but there is help and there is a way out. Do not be afraid to call and do not be too prideful to accept help. It could save your life! The National Abuse Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
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