Well...... Here. We. Go. Again

They say the body can remember when the brain doesn't. And I just chalked up my increased anxiety and PPD these past months to hormonal shifts and stress from the holidays. ....Until it was all beautifully laid out for me like the heaviest ton of bricks I've ever had to carry.

There it was .. October .... National Spina Bifida month .... the month I got Ellowyns original in utero diagnoses (2016) ..... the month I flew out to Philly to qualify for fetal surgery ...... the month of her latest tethered cord / dermoid cyst spinal cord surgery in Philly again (2022).....and now the month we got the devastating results of Ellowyns most recent sedated MRI.

Ellowyn's 2 cysts in her spinal cord are back again , another tethered cord, and a syrnix up into her thoracic spine. After lots of talks with her new Nuero Surg here in Houston Texas, and waiting on the rest of her testing the past few months , Surgery is officially scheduled. John and I decided on February 18th to allow us time to piece together a better plan for our big blended family and the long recovery process ahead. Surgery on her spinal cord will most likely last 6ish hours with a 4/5 day hospital stay before returning home where the real work begins. Recovery will once again be measured in weeks and then months , and the 6 month mark is where Ellowyn "typically " returns back to her new and improved self.

To help offset the cost of daily life , bills, babysitters, John's time off from work , Ellowyn's extra needs and comfort items ect, I have started a go-fund me IF you feel led to help in that way.

I am also starting a brand new group on FB if you would like to follow along this new epic journey and cheer alongside us from all over the world.

Maybe this next portion of my healing journey is about becoming completely undone in my medical ptsd, so that it can all be perfectly orchestrated and put back together again whole, with an insanely supportive partner right alongside me every step of the way.

Maybe this is everything Ellowyn's incredible body needs again to help propel her into the next epic version of herself.

Maybe this was how it was always meant to be , to bring our beautiful big blended family even closer together.

Maybe.... its time to let go and blindly trust that the universe knew exactly what she was doing this October !

So here we go again!!!!!!!!