Help Elektra & Oliver’s Family Attend Her Father’s Memorial

Seven years ago in June, I met and fell in love with my now life partner, Elektra Walraven. She was everything my life was missing, with four great kids in tow. Both of our backstories are riddled with pain, missed opportunities, and addiction, but are combined with periods of health, success, joy, and previous marriages that ultimately resulted in the birth of our awesome kids. However, it is no secret that I personally struggled so much for so long and have had to fight hard for everything I have today, including my life. After meeting her, I'll never forget the first time we sat down to dinner with all 6 of our combined children and thinking to myself, this is it. It felt like I had found something I didn't know was missing. I remember what we ate, what Elektra was wearing, and I've still yet to feel that level of certainty and excitement for anything else in my life. With her, the mundane became magical, and I just knew that I would do whatever it took to always care and provide for my new (much bigger) family.

That same summer, the other shoe dropped and our once loud and boisterous home fell deafeningly silent. Elektra's children were not returned to us from a summer visitation with their dad, and we entered into what would become a 6-year custody battle that dominated and devoured every aspect of our lives. Those of you that know her know that after being a stay-at-home mom for 11 years, the loss of Elektra's children was catastrophic. She wilted right before my eyes, along with all the magic, all the dreams, and all the plans we had together. But it turns out there is nothing stronger than two ride-or-die parents who have already been to hell and back, because this fall was the first time since that shitty summer that all of us are permanently back together again. In retrospect, all of the stress and legal debt was worth it to have the sounds of laughter, loud footsteps, and even constant sibling bickering fill our home once again.

Providing for a family of this size has been one of the most challenging responsibilities I've ever taken on. It means cooking instead of eating out, camping instead of hotels, Netflix instead of movie theaters, and often forgoing things we had hoped to achieve or attain, but I can't imagine my life any other way. When the kids ask difficult questions, we tell them we could never be poor because it's impossible to be with this much love (and pets). Today I am writing to ask the people that know and care for us to do something I have never done before and it is humbling. We need help. Elektra's father has passed away and the memorial service is taking place this June on Kauai, where she was born. Just the airfare for our family will cost approx $7,000 and the expenses don't stop there. It is so sad to think of anyone not attending their own parent’s funeral, so we are going to do whatever it takes; including this.

Roger Walraven was a phenomenal man with so much integrity who is already greatly missed. Thankfully, he was able to see Elektra regain custody of his 4 grandchildren before passing away, as he was a staunch supporter of her efforts and of our love for one another. I asked Roger for her hand in marriage years ago because one of our 'dreams' was to get married on Kauai (a desire Roger had consistently expressed), but the 6 years custody case made it not possible. He of course understood and we all agreed that a trip to see him and his wife as soon as the kids returned home would be the first on our agenda. Sadly, Elektra's youngest kids will not get to meet their grandfather, but we want them present at the memorial where they can hear and see just how loved and amazing he was.

Please consider making any donation, regardless of size, to help make it possible for Elektra and me to take our family to the celebration of Roger Walraven's life. I want nothing more than for her to have the opportunity to experience what I believe everyone deserves after the loss of a parent. It may sound, well... it probably does sound like we're just trying to go on a Hawaiian vacation, but this is so much more to us than a beach trip. It is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and we can't do it without a little help from our friends.

Thank you. We love you all,

Oliver Geoghegan (and our soccer team-sized family)