It is I, DORA….the household’s most magnificent and usual agile feline, who addresses you today. I come not for catnip (though that’s also a necessity), but with a grave and urgent matter concerning my structural integrity.

You see in the pursuit athletic excellence (specifically, an ill-advised leap to catch a dust bunny that looked suspiciously like a large moth). I have sustained a critical injury. My veterinarian, a very serious man who uses words like “cranial, cruciate ligament rupture”and”orthopedic consultation,” informs me that I have not one but two torn ACLS in both my back legs. Although this is very rare in cats well you gotta know me,I go BIG or GO home.

My owners have already scheduled me to have my right ACL surgery first because it was the most severe one. My owners were able to cover the cost of that one on their own. Now I have to wait four weeks for my next surgery on my left ACL.

This is not a mere,furball situation,dear friends. This is a crisis of mobility! My “Zoomies” have been reduced to a pathetic “limp-around-the-kitchen,” and I cannot properly knead biscuits, which is frankly a tragedy for everyone involved.

The solution, I am told, is a sophisticated surgical procedure. The cost for this high-level, bionic–cat upgrade is, regrettably, a some far beyond my current allowance of kibble and couch privileges. We are looking at a figure somewhere in the neighborhood of $3000 possibly a little more with physical therapy.

Without the surgery, the Vet (Dr. Serious-Pants) says I will develop severe arthritis and chronic pain and potentially have to be euthanized. I assure you a life without the ability to jump onto the highest shelf to judge you is no life at all.

Therefore, I’m setting aside my pride (mostly) and asking for your financial assistance. Your contribution will go directly to restoring my ability to:

* Perform gravity-defying stunts.

* Pounce with the silent grace of a tiny, fluffy ninja

* Properly supervise all human activities from a vertical vantage point.

In return, I promise, an eternity of conditional affection, the occasional purr, and perhaps I will deign to only sit on half of your important papers. It’s a great deal.

Please help me get back on my (four, fully operational feet). My dignity, and my future ability to chase the red dot, depends on it.

Prayers are Free

Yours Truly, In desperate need of my other new knee.

DORA (The Cat)