Hello,

My name is Dirk. In October 2023, my spouse passed away very tragically. While trying to deal with that, the loss of a loved one, and with some other personal things surrounding all of it, I could not find a place to live in WA, so I moved to OR with a friend.

Along with this, I had to transfer to a new site with my job— which has been proving difficult for me, as I worked at Amazon with my spouse, and now that is all I think about every single day. I also have none of my friends and support from my old site, which is also weighing on me.

My currently living situation is also not working out that well either, despite me being appreciative of my friend, it is just not working. I have not been able to save any money and haven’t had much money for food, until recently. Two friends had given me some funds so I could have money for food for the month.

I had another friend in NE offer me a place to stay, but recently, there was a lot of drama involving their partner and that invitation was revoked from me permanently.

Now, I have ran out of options and have relapsed (with self harm) 3 times since this started. My new psychiatrist thinks I should be in in-patient, but I cannot afford that either. I also have a dog as well. Trying to save to get my own place has been close to non-existent.. So, me trying to raise money, possibly for at least a down payment on an apartment, or something else, will help me with moving and even help me with mental health care until I am at least safer. I am not really sure what my plans are, because I am having a difficult time just existing. I just need help and I am very sorry for asking for it like this, but I really am at my limit with everything. It has all been so stressful and weighing on me and I am honestly scared of my mental state at this point, because I sincerely do not know what else to do.