I was getting ready for work and had some serious chest pain. I thought I was possibly having a heart attack, but I knew that wasn’t quite it because it became extremely hard to breathe. I took some acetaminophen and propped my body up on the bed and waited for Jay to bring me to urgent care.

When we arrived, it was apparent that my lung had collapsed (pneuma) spontaneously. I refused to take an ambulance, and we drove to Auburn where I had an emergency procedure to reinflate the lung and drain the fluids. I had two tubes in my chest when I woke up from sedation, and I was in excruciating pain, which was not supposed to be the case with all the morphine I was on. Internal bleeding began, and I started leaking from the tubes, and it became imperative that I got to Strong Memorial Hospital as quickly as possible because it was now life or death.

I got to take a sweet albeit EXPENSIVE helicopter ride. Wish I took a pic for the gram, but I DID get to look out the window, and that was pretty cool. I thought to myself, well, if this is one of the last things I see and do, at least I got to ride a frickin' helicopter. Nobody can say Destynee ain't ever rode on a helly before she kicked the bucket. I also thought to myself, at least this isn’t an embarrassing way to go if that was about to happen.

All jokes aside, I was terrified. I called for my mom so many times like a child. I just wanted to be with my family and the love of my life. I made my boyfriend promise to take care of Azula.

My mom and Jay rushed to Rochester as quickly as possible, and I can only imagine what was going through their minds as my 45-minute helicopter ride was close to a 2-hour drive for them.

Strong Memorial Hospital received me and handled me with so much care. They absolutely saved my life.

When I opened my eyes, my mom and Jay were there, and all I wanted to do was just call everybody I loved and let them know that I love them.

After a long week in the hospital with a lot of time to think, I want to share this with all who care to know.

You can call it cliché, but this experience really changed my perspective on life, and grateful, blessed, and lucky are amongst the things that I feel.

Truly, it almost feels like a complete energy shift. This time last year, my life was in shambles. I’ve worked really, really hard to pull myself out of so many holes over the years. Heartbreaks, abusive situations, grief, and loss ate me up… But none of that was like this.

I don’t feel like I died under sedation, but I feel like I came pretty damn close to it.

Now I have the privilege to wake up every day before my alarm… I do my breathing exercises.

I am writing stories, songs, and painting while I’m healing…

The friends and family I have that show up for me mean the world to me. I love you all, and I am so happy to be alive to see the best version of me. I’m glad you all get to see it too. Life is beautiful and a gift, and I am going to be so much better to my body and to the people in my life that show so much love.

We are looking to raise $2000 in hopes of paying off the airlift, surviving the summer until work starts again for me in the fall, and paying back the sick days I was allotted and overpaid for.