Hi,

My name is Melissa, and I'm a single mom of two boys in Calgary, Alberta. I'm writing today about my oldest son, Dante, who is 12 and a half and suffers from extensive mental health disabilities. I have exhausted all other options and am now turning to our community for help.

**Our Journey to Find Help**

Our story with Dante began when he was just two years old. My mother and I noticed behaviors that were far more severe than typical toddler antics. He would throw himself backward, head first, onto the floor, hurl objects, and have extreme bouts of hitting, screaming, and even attempting to run into traffic. Despite my concerns, doctors in BC repeatedly told me he was just a toddler and would outgrow it.

By the time Dante was five, his behaviors had become unmanageable. Daycares turned us away because he was throwing furniture, chasing me with dishes, and destroying property. During kindergarten, he was removed from two different schools. In the first, he jabbed another child with a pencil, which was their last straw. In the second, he "eloped" twice, meaning he ran away from school, prompting an RCMP response both times. This led to a recommendation for a third school with a specialized program.

At this point, his behaviors were so severe that I was avoiding going out in public. I would hold him in his room to prevent him from attacking me and would call my mom crying, feeling completely lost. I made three desperate calls to Child & Family Services (CFS) for help, but no one listened. Finally, I took Dante to the emergency room, where he was referred to psychiatry. We were put on an 18-month waiting list for an autism assessment.

Unable to sustain the cost of living in BC, I moved back to Alberta with my son. In 2018, as Dante started Grade 1, his school was fantastic. They modified his program to help him succeed, as they had never had a child with his needs before. However, in Grade 2, I got a call from the school: Dante had threatened to have my then-boyfriend bring a gun to school to shoot a student.

I was broken. I immediately called 811 and asked if I should drive my son to the Alberta Children's Hospital in Calgary or if there was a local mental health unit that could take him. This is when I learned about the CAMP program in Lethbridge. Dante was admitted for over a week, including his seventh birthday.

**Navigating COVID-19 and the Mental Health System**

We were able to get some support from FSCD (Family Support for Children with Disabilities), which included in-home respite while I worked. The services—including occupational, behavioral, and speech therapy, as well as medical cost assistance—were extremely helpful. Then, COVID-19 hit. We relocated to Calgary in hopes of finding better services, but we were hit hard. The Calgary Board of Education limited my son's school day to just 90 minutes, and our FSCD contract was drastically reduced. I began advocating fiercely for my son.

The Mental Health Unit at the Alberta Children's Hospital became a revolving door. We had emergency trip after emergency trip until they finally took me seriously. In the last five years, Dante has had well over two dozen hospital admissions. We tried every community resource and hospital program suggested, but eventually, the doctors at the Children's Hospital told me they had nothing left to offer. Around this time, my youngest son’s father left.

**Fighting for a Solution**

During one of our last emergency trips, a nurse told me about a specialized program called the Preadolescent Treatment Program at Hull Services, which my nine-year-old son could access—but I would have to fight CFS to get him into it.

I brought it up with our assigned CFS worker and was immediately threatened with child abandonment charges. The threats continued every time I mentioned the program. The emergency room visits and hospital admissions continued until I decided enough was enough. I went around the social worker, asked for a new one, and was denied. So I contacted the Minister of Child & Family Services office directly. I explained everything in an email, and like magic, a new worker was assigned, and the Minister's office demanded a solution within one week. Suddenly, my son had a placement in the program I had been fighting for.

**The Challenges of Treatment**

Dante has been in the Preadolescent Treatment Program for nearly three years. To keep him there and receive the specialized services he desperately needs, I've had to sign mutual agreements with CFS and a Temporary Guardianship Order (TGO). My ultimate goal has always been for him to be able to return home full-time safely.

While we've seen significant improvements in some areas, there have been setbacks. We've dealt with two negative medication changes, a previously missed diagnosis, and a harmful reintroduction of Dante’s biological father by CFS. This regression left my son crying at the sound of his dad's name and led to an increase in aggression.

The last medication change earlier this year was particularly difficult. It resulted in an injury to me, police involvement, and an officer overstepping by charging a child with disabilities with assault. We have an amazing lawyer and crown prosecutor helping us, and they have ensured Dante is flagged so that any future responding officers will call a senior officer who is more informed about his conditions. Because of this incident, I've been on medical EI since March. Dante also has release conditions that require an extra person to be with us at all times, and until recently, he couldn’t even be at our house. Now that the medication has been reverted, his behaviors have stabilized, and we've had two successful overnight visits at home.

Dante has also been a serious elopement risk for years, even when not escalated. He has a history of running away if he has an unsupervised chance. We have had two separate instances where he was missing for over eight hours, with one involving him getting on a freight train and ending up near Strathmore.

**Our Current Situation and Appeal for Help**

As of July 31st, Dante has aged out of the Preadolescent Treatment Program and now attends Lighthouse through Woods Homes, which is also only accessible through CFS. I am now facing a court trial at the end of August, where CFS is applying for a Permanent Guardianship Order (PGO) for my son, solely because he is not yet able to be at home safely full-time.

CFS has admitted that there is no fault in my parenting; this is solely due to Dante’s "high needs" and the lack of publicly accessible programs for children like him. They have stated that if Dante is removed from his specialized treatment program, they will drop the application for the PGO.

If the PGO goes through, my FSCD file—which they have been holding open for us—will be officially closed. This would put me at the bottom of a three-plus-year waiting list for any kind of in-home assistance. If Dante is returned to my guardianship during this time, he will be without adequate access to any community supports.

I have started a petition to create a bill to prevent this from happening to other parents, but a legislative change will not come fast enough to help my family.

I am seeking support to find and fund private, in-home services such as:

* Specialized respite care

* Behavioral and occupational therapy

* Transportation to and from his program and medical appointments

* Modifications to his bedroom to prevent self-injury and property damage

If enough funds are raised, I also hope to use the money to raise awareness about this issue and gather more signatures for my petition, as all signatures must be done in person.

Please help me do what is best for my son. I cannot do this on my own, and I truly need the help of a village. To any parent out there who is suffering and pleading for help, I have been where you are. I see you, and I am fighting for you. One day, our province will have the level of support needed, but until then, it is on us.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts & God Bless,

Melissa & Dante