Hello everyone, my name is Eddie Jurkovic and I am helping my friend and former colleague Daniella Abane raise money to provide essential support for her two boys, who both have autism. As many of you know, this is a cause that is near and dear to my heart and to my family. Daniella and I worked together on a research project in Rwanda - and during my time in their beautiful country in 2022, we ended up talking for hours about our loved ones with autism - my brother Evan, and her two sons Brian and Bram. Unlike the US, where autism is now well known and there are many resources available, in Rwanda, Daniella has faced extreme hardship and stigma as she tries to provide for her boys and their very complex needs. We have kept in touch since then, and together we are working to find a way for her to provide for their immediate and longer term educational and medical needs.
To do this, we are looking to start by raising $4,000 - the exact breakdown of this cost is outlined in the image at the bottom of this narrative. This amount will allow the boys to attend a special school for the full year and will also provide for important medical and behavioral support. Daniella has graciously and courageously agreed to tell her story and the story of her two sons, in order to outline their situation, their needs, and their hopes for the future. Please take a moment to read her story, and consider donating and/or sharing this fundraiser.
A Journey of Silence, Survival, and Strength
My name is Daniella. In a world where silence is often the only shield left to women like me, I have spent most of my life fighting to be heard, to be understood, and to survive. This is not a tale of complaint, but one of resilience. I was born into a life filled with struggles that I never asked for, but I learned to navigate each one. I grew up an orphan, and from a young age, I had to assume the role of caregiver for what remained of my family. I was barely old enough to understand the meaning of responsibility, yet I was burdened with it.
Silent Wounds: A Dark Chapter
Twice in my life, my body was violated in ways no one speaks of. Twice, I was raped by men who saw me as nothing more than a target. The silence surrounding such violence in my country only deepened the pain. There was no one to turn to, I spent months in hospital, with no avenue for justice. It felt like the world wanted me to carry this burden alone, in secret, as though my suffering was my own shame. At another point, I narrowly escaped being trafficked, a fate that so many young girls like me have fallen into. I think this was linked to one of my rapists as he had a high profile. But this dark underworld goes unspoken. Girls are taken, used, discarded—and the silence persists. I was one of the lucky ones, but the scars of those near-misses have never fully healed.
The Weight of Tradition
In my community, traditional customs and beliefs have made things harder. There is no room for understanding mental health, autism, or the complex dynamics of my family. Instead, I am met with whispers, judgment, and the heavy expectations of a community that demands perfection. Their rigid beliefs don’t allow for the complexities of my life, and they offer no comfort or support. In fact, they often make things harder, isolating me even more.
Marriage: A New Set of Challenges
At a young age, I got married. My husband, though loving in his own way, is autistic, and it has shaped the dynamic of our relationship in ways that many don’t understand. Our love is real, but it is a different kind of love, one that is filled with challenges most couples never face. With so many wounds, for him being in his character and me being emotionally and physically victimized, we solved it by separation.
Together, we have two beautiful sons, both of whom are also autistic. They are the light of my life, yet they bring with them a set of struggles that society doesn’t prepare you for. Every day is a battle to ensure they receive the care they need. The food they eat must be carefully chosen, their school fees a constant source of stress, and their needs often misunderstood by a world that doesn’t see them for the beautiful souls they are.
Work and Distance: A Mother’s Sacrifice
To provide for them, I have no choice but to travel 8 hours away for work. Every time I leave, my heart breaks. I am leaving my two "mama's boys" behind, knowing that there is no one else to give them the care and attention they deserve. The guilt of not being there, of missing their milestones, of being absent when they need me the most, eats away at me. But I know that this is the only way I can provide for them, the only way I can give them a chance at a better life.
My life looks like a movie in which one day God sent an Angel called Edward Jurkovic. We meet in one of our research projects. On a lunch break, I felt like he has an answer to the questions I have; like what is autism, how do other countries think of and cope with autistic people as here we are considered useless or crazy. They look at me and see a mother who is failing, a woman who is somehow not enough. Yet, Ed answered my questions and kindly promised to share all the resources necessary to equip myself with autism knowledge to help my boys. Ed, never stopped checking on us which helped me holding on whenever I was down. Ed, helped, cooled my soul, now the boys are back to school.
The struggle to balance my work, their care, and my own survival often feels like an impossible task. I juggle school assistance for them, endless doctor’s appointments, and therapies that seem never-ending. And all the while, society judges. Even though I try my best to fulfill their everyday needs, I am losing this battle. My salary is 300USD and 130USD stays in my transport and the rest cover 20% of home daily needs. I have to keep the rest for their food, I can’t even make saving but taking loans. Education has marked my personal growth and developed my independence. That is why I refused to believe everyone who has said I am wasting my time and money sending my boys to school. The only school nearby that will accept them is too expensive for me to afford including their personal driving, school assistance and food menu. I kept trying, but this has put me in a situation that I can’t even now afford home care, food or clothes.
This situation has brought on depression and anxiety. Dealing with divorce, long journeys to work, finding and paying my sons’ assistance, being bullied by the society accusing me not to take my babies in traditional spiritual rituals, all of those burden took the strong woman I was. Here I am now, lonely, deeply lost, financially down, hopeless but yet God blessed me with these two Angels who never chose to have a different condition. When they get sick it is another story, the burden is too heavy because for therapies I have to pay 800USD a month including transportation medical bills. My non-verbal son can one day speak if he is being well treated. They are both geniuses, their brain is highly functioning but socially disconnected to the world. My older son, who is 7 years old now, is very hypersensitive, wants to be indoors, no sounds no lights. The young brother likes outdoors, running, climbing, and finds it so hard to sleep or sit. They both like electronics but I can’t afford them. Our day can be filled with screams or silence, I would say combining these two conditions in my little house looks impossible but I manage.
What Funds Will Do
Funding for Bram and Brian’s educational, medical and behavioral care is an investment in their extraordinary potential and the breakthroughs they could bring to the world. Bram, a 6-year-old non-verbal boy, finds joy in music, with his hands gently strumming a guitar or exploring the keys of a piano, while excited when playing music, he raises a voice like saying MOM, or point and call any an orange, white color object, a favorite fruit like apple and banana. Bram will be paying attention to his favorite teachers and respond to them, Bram will sit for at least 15minutes listening and work on the assignment and get used to work in groups or peers Within two to three years Bram will understand the sense of independence, responsibility. His love for nature and attention to detail reveal a sensitive soul with much to share, he struggles much to fit in with his signs, but while in swimming pools, swings he can sing and touch other kids, not only mom or a personal assistant. Medical supports helps him sleep, relax, rest as he is hyperactive, sleepless, and fearless. With the right educational, behavioral, and medical support, Bram could learn to communicate in ways that unlock the emotions and thoughts he can’t yet express—giving voice to the music he feels so deeply inside, Bram will have some good sleep to make his body and brain afresh and organized. Although he is into outdoors, he doesn’t like to be surrounded, with special care, he will understand why he needs others in his life. He is emotionless but he gets too angry and sad when he sees me sad or crying. With the help, he will not only get used to the routines like foods and journeys, home care, school teachers and assistance.
Brian, a 7-year-old hypersensitive genius, is physically frail but possesses a mind that soars to the stars. His fascination with astronomy and technology is matched only by his love for his brother, Bram. He dreams of inventing machines that could help non-verbal children like Bram speak, constantly asking mom (Me) why his brother remains silent and voiceless. His brain is into programming, astrology, and languages. He is a super genius, the smartest I have ever seen. He knows all countries flags, their color colors and meanings; Planets' and stars' details, current and future vehicle motors. Brian is very independent and keen on helping persons like his brother and other friends or mom. He can create game websites and monitor them. At his age, he knows many about universe,, planets, chemicals, electronics, wars and politics, potential future leaders, he knows things that I can never dream of and I am sometimes worried that he is not from this universe. With him being at school with his fellow’s level and being medically supported, it can balance his researches, sleep and socialize as well as fitting into his community. Supporting both boys now and in the future would transform their lives, enabling Bram to express his emotions and other capabilities like engineering and music and helping Brian realize his dream of giving his brother a voice, becoming a pilot and create autistic play grounds, silent motor/vehicles and participate in inventing a particular machine that can help him do research in NASA.
Speaking Up: Finding My Voice
For too long, I have lived in silence, carrying these burdens without speaking up. But I am tired of that silence. I have a voice, and it deserves to be heard. My struggles are not unique, but they are important. There are so many women like me, fighting similar battles in the shadows. And I want to speak up for all of them, for the girls who are trafficked, for the women who are raped, for the mothers raising children with disabilities, for those who are judged by society’s impossible standards.
I am learning that speaking up is not a sign of weakness—it is a sign of strength. My story is one of survival, but it is also one of resilience. I am still here, still fighting, still loving, and still hoping for a better tomorrow and I believe God created better kindhearted people like Ed, greater minds, kind souls and generous character of giving to give a life. I speak to call for your help, let my life journey be an inspiration through you, I need you, my boys need you and together we will make a change.
