Hi

Sadly our much loved Dan, my soulmate of nearly 20 years, passed on 21/2/22 unexpectedly; he was such a funny, energetic, friendly, kind and passionate person, and he will be greatly missed.

People will want to know what happened to him to make sense of it. There is a lot to the story, but I will keep it as short as possible. I should probably start with his inherited Alport's disease, which affects a few things. It affects the kidneys, which is an autoimmune disease where the body begins attacking the kidneys. In 2015 he found out as was not known in the family until then, he only had 27% function then, he had dialysis for a bit, and that was extremely hard going. He lost an excellent job as he couldn't function properly but was only on the donor list for eight months. He did get the call and had a transplant in 2018, which was a success story. To understand the next part of Dan's story is better to know how the kidneys affect different functions in the body. Blood pressure is one, if your kidneys are not working correctly. He overlooked it being too high for a long time because if it happens over a long time, you have no idea it's happening and then was medically unable to keep it at an average level. Dan's blood pressure is more than likely the reason for what happened.

So on 9th September 2020, he woke with severe chest pain; he got rushed to hospital where they discovered he'd had an aortic dissection; I was rushed in by his side. I was told his aorta was torn inside from the top, down to his belly, and is serious. A half-an-hour later, the worse thing happened, he had a cardiac arrest because it had ruptured. He was in a critical state and needed emergency surgery to repair his aorta with a stent. We got told he had a 20% chance of survival.

It was a success and covered the hole in the aorta; he was no way out of the woods and was highly critical. When they tried to bring him around, his neurological obs were good, but he couldn't move his legs, and all seemed well until his vital signs started to deteriorate. He, unfortunately, had another cardiac arrest because of another bleed on his aorta, where he needed emergency surgery again to fix. After that, they managed to stem the bleed, but because of having two cardiac arrests, his brain had been starved on oxygen had suffered brain hypoxia which is a stroke.

It didn't look good when they tried to bring him around from this operation; he had no neurological signs.

Over time, results showed the stent they fitted in his aorta had covered the blood supply to his spine. Nerves died in his spine because he had no blood supply, and that was it. He was paralysed from his chest down with no real future improvement, but usually, it takes two years for an accurate picture of recovery, but walking again was about a 2% chance, the consultants told us.

He was in a coma for a month; no one knew how and who he would be when he woke up but waking up was the only way to know, but eventually, he did wake up. He was in ICU for two months and spent three months in Salisbury spinal rehabilitation unit; during COVID, he didn't see anyone for four months and didn't see his son for five months. It was terrible in his most vulnerable state and unable to see anyone apart from me. That was Christmas day for 3 hours; it was a traumatic time when Dan needed people he couldn't.

When he came home, it was amazing. We knew it would be challenging, but we would try our best at what we had left; he was home for a year. Unfortunately, because of the transplant, Dan took immunosuppressants, which puts him at a higher risk of infections. That was the problem; he must have had roughly two infections a month, and Dan just got weaker and weaker. The most recent infection was on his graft of the stent in his aorta, and after six weeks of IV antibiotics, things were not improving. The infection around his aorta weakened the area around it, and in his last moments, Dan suffered a massive haemorrhage from an area around his stent and lost his life.

He was in a lot of pain all the time because of his spinal injury, and there are a lot of associated problems that go with spinal injuries, things you don't appreciate until they happen to a loved one. He had daily struggles and hurdles to overcome and tried his best. Unfortunately, his body had other ideas, and his body couldn't take anymore. He had been through enough. It was a release for him; I think he's is not in pain anymore and doesn't have to suffer and endure anymore, and I believe that myself and others have to take comfort from that. He was always trying to have a laugh and was still the same Dan up to the last moment.

In these dark times, money is the last thing on your mind. Still, with a bit of support and your donation, it would help me have some time with Mason. Mine and Dan's two 1/2-year-old son, to make sense of all that has happened the last year and a half to our family and grieve and not worry about how I will live these next months. Another part of your donation is to pay for part of the funeral and wake. Also, Dan's friend and carer Jaz has lost her job. As losing a friend is hard as it is without losing your job as well; so to help Jaz out as well will hopefully give her some to grieve her two massive losses.

We will miss him terribly, but he will live on within us all who knew him, I think.

Thank you for reading

I hope you can help

Lesley

xxx