Help Crissy Kick Cancer's Ass

For those of you who might not know me, I'm Crissy's daughter Maria. Generally I'm known for telling it like it is so if this reads more similarly to a rant than anything else, please forgive me.

Let's start at the beginning: my mother has a reputation for being the wild one, the life of the party, the one wanting to tear up the dance floor only taking a break to do a shot of Titos or Patron. She has the heart of an angel and always tries to do more than what is necessary for those around her, even though most of the time this comes at a cost for her own self. However over the past few years she has become not her true self which has been emotionally devastating to her and those of us who love her dearly.

The past few years my mother has had a horrible string of bad luck with her health. If health problem bingo was real, she would be the champion. My mother has had multiple knee surgeries, an invasive back surgery in which they put in a 'cage' around her spine, a stroke, and a total knee replacement just to name a few. The knee replacement was not healing properly after a year of physical therapy and she ended up falling down the stairs fracturing her foot and rib. All the while she was having some severe discomfort in her mouth. This affected her eating and she lost a significant amount of weight. Eventually she went to a periodontist and they performed a laser surgery on her gums. This, however, was a blessing in disguise because that is when it was discovered that my mother had oral cancer.

On July 1st, as most people were anticipating a long holiday weekend, my mother was undergoing a complicated surgery. The incision runs from the back of her ear along her neck up to the bottom of her chin. From there they were able to lift the skin in order to gain access to remove her bone, teeth and tissue in her mouth. An entire team of oncologists, dentists and reconstruction surgeons worked on her for over 12 hours.

Complications arose while they were replacing the bone with a piece from her back. They were unable to use stronger bone from her leg because she also has circulation issues to her legs due to her PVD (peripheral vascular disease). This also created issues while they were trying to reattach her blood vessels to the new bone when reconstructing her jaw. Post surgery she had a tracheotomy and a feeding tube installed. They had to move her to the telemetry unit to monitor her heart because of her CAD (coronary artery disease) and AFIB (atrial fibrillation). In layman's terms: her heart is irregular. Due to all of my mother's medical conditions, many of her regular medications had to be changed so as not to interfere with each other. Obviously changing medications also takes a toll on the body.

She was finally discharged on July 16th. The trache came out but the feeding tube remains. Her diet (which we also have to monitor because of her diabetes) now consists of foods that must be pureed and liquids that must be thickened. A nurse comes every day to change the dressing on her neck as the wound is open. We are in the process of trying to set up a schedule for her juggling radiation, pain management, speech therapy, hematology, oncology, and physical therapy. Scheduling, prepping her food, flushing her feeding tube, administering her medication, bathing, and transporting her to her appointments is essentially a full-time job.

Here is where my rant and feelings might start to show: the way that patients of all kind are basically exploited for money is an abomination. The basic medical supplies take time to be ordered. In the meantime my family is buying, gloves, alcohol pads, gauze sponges, food thickening powder etc. in addition to the speacialty foods my mother now requires.

Because my father's pension from NYPD is laughable he still works basically 12 hour days. Now due to the new Medicare Advantage Plan my parents' insurance can change to potentially not cover the costs of all the treatment my mother needs. Ask me for the link but this basically sums it up: "Impending move to privately managed health plans could save taxpayers as much as $600 million annually — at a high cost to retirees, who may have to pay more for less care and fewer doctor choices, some warn."

Aside from working himself into the ground and taking care of my mother, my father has also taken on caring for my grandmother. My mother is an only child, my grandmother is 93, lives by herself an hour away from my parents and has dementia. Again my frustration is ignited when seeing how atrocious it is to care for the elderly. We have been trying for years to get my grandmother's Medicaid approved so we can get her into an assisted living whose prices are astronomical.

It's despicable that convenience is so expensive but that is the world we live in. The hardest thing for most people to do is ask for help when they need it. My family is very proud and pushing our pride aside has been difficult. The amount of love and support we have received has been incredible and I think it is the reason my mother is keeping her spirits so high. It's understandable that monetary assistance is not something that everyone can help with but my mother loves the get well cards she has received and all of the texts so please, if anything, keep sending those!

As much pain my mom is in, her heart also breaks knowing how much work everyone around her has to do to keep her comfortable. She stresses about my grandmother and the physical toll this is taking on my father. My family is now faced with the dilemma that if my dad keeps taking off from work he won't be making any money just to support the basic household finances. Now add on the cost of my mother's treatments while taking away support from the health insurance and the situation becomes seemingly impossible. It took a lot out of me to write this all but as much as I hate to admit it, I know it had to be done.

I've tried my hardest to be the family rock in all of this. My manner of wanting to take care of everyone is definitely a trait I can thank both of my parents for instilling in me. Trying to stay positive is one of the hardest things when you're faced with one obstacle after another but without an optimistic outlook life becomes very dismal very fast. With radiation estimated to be at least six and a half weeks starting in mid August we have a long road ahead of us. We have an appointment to discuss the particulars of chemotherapy next week and are trying to brace ourselves with a realistic expectation. Trying to anticipate potential costs is exhausting and mentally taxing however after a quick break to sob in the shower I was able to finish typing this all up.

My favorite video of my mom is one of us dancing at my best friend's wedding. It truly portrays the 'real' Crissy. Pitbull is one of my mom's favorite artists and we are singing his lyrics, "No pare la fiesta, don't stop the party!" My mom is fighting to get back to her real self and hopefully by the grace of God and whatever 'help' we can get on here, she will be back to singing and dancing and partying in no time!

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart, God bless!