My name is Jette (Danish name, pronounced Yetta). I am looking for help to cover legal costs after escaping a 22-Year relationship that became abusive.

When I told my daughter we were separating from her dad, she looked at me and said:

“Well done Mum, I am so proud of you.”

In that moment, I knew I was doing the right thing—I just wish I had done it sooner.

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Our Story

The abusive behaviour began with the birth of our daughter. The abuse started subtly but grew worse as our daughter got older with most of the violent outbursts directed at her.

One memory from the early years is when my former partner got angry about my daughter and me opening Lego cards whilst he was watching football. “I have worked very hard for those cards at the school summer fair”, he said. “I was on the busiest stand!” He forcefully took the cards from us and threw them in the kitchen washing up bowl filled to the top with dirty water and used his hands to scrunch them around with a mission to destroy. Our daughter stood to his right screaming whilst I stood to his left trying to rescue our daughter’s then most treasured item from destruction. My rescue attempt led to my former partner picking up the bowl of water and emptying its content over my head, all in front of our daughter.

I don’t know how I put on a brave face and pretended we were ok whilst cleaning up the mess.

Having since attended two Domestic Abuse courses, I now understand why and the reason why abusive relationships can be very difficult to escape.

Other incidents included him throwing a remote control at her, bruising her forehead, tearing pages from her diary, and even throwing a kettle in her direction. He regularly reduced me to tears, accused me of affairs, and told our daughter she had no friends.

Only in May 2024 did I find the strength to leave—after our daughter’s mental health collapsed and social services intervened. It was the hardest decision of my life, but the best thing I could have done.

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Why We Need Help

When I separated, I discovered that because we were never married, I have no automatic rights to our home—even though I paid for almost all living costs for 14 years (he wasn't in work until March 2023). He bought the house outright in 2010 and insisted I shouldn’t take out a mortgage, calling it “financially inefficient.”

Now, to avoid walking away with nothing after years of contribution, I must pursue a legal claim under TOLATA (Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act). This is a complex and costly process.

We attended mediation in November 2025, but without a successful outcome. Solicitors have quoted £6,000–£8,400 in legal fees (if a settlement can be reached outside of the court). That’s why I’ve launched this GoFundMe —to cover these legal fees and secure a future for my daughter and me.

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Beyond Our Case: Changing the Law

Alongside this legal battle, I’m campaigning to modernise cohabitation laws so vulnerable partners and children are better protected after breakups. I’ve started a petition here:

Sign the Petition

I’ve also requested a meeting with my local MP, which my daughter will attend with me. Our story shows why this change is urgently needed.

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How You Can Help

Every donation—big or small—will help us fight for justice and move forward. If you can’t donate, please share this page and sign the petition to help change the law for others too.

Thank you for reading and for supporting us on this journey.