Hi there — today I received the news from my veterinarian that Clark, the world’s single greatest dog, has cancer, and right now I could use any help I can get to defray the cost of his treatment.

The good news is that, at this point, his seems to be a very treatable type of cancer.


A few weeks ago I spotted a golf ball-sized lump on his abdomen that hadn’t been there the day before and left a panicked voicemail on my vet’s answering machine, but in the three days between that voicemail and his vet appointment his lump had decreased in size to the point that it couldn’t be aspirated. The vet urged me to call back immediately if the lump reappeared, told me that its rapidly changing size was an indicator that the lump could be a malignant tumor — it did, and it is. Clark’s lump is a mast cell tumor. The lab report I received today uses language like “low nuclear-to-cytoplasmic (NC) ratios,” which is apparently an indicator that the cells are not aggressively cancerous, and the vet told me that we’d caught it early, but we won’t know how advanced his cancer is or whether it’s spread until the lump is removed and sent for a surgical biopsy. Thankfully, as of today, he’s still running around the house and playing like a puppy on amphetamines, still has a bottomless appetite, doesn’t seem to be in any kind of distress. 


I know that everybody who has a dog insists that theirs is the most special animal in the world, but in my case that’s actually true. Everybody who knows me even a little bit knows that I am obsessed with Clark to a degree that I’ll freely admit is probably freakish and off-putting. I’ve got good reason to be, though. He might be the axis the Earth spins on. You’d understand it if you saw him solicit affection by sitting up on his hind legs like a meerkat and placing both his front paws on your arm.

At this point, I've set a fundraising goal that would cover the cost of his surgery and subsequent lab testing on the lump, though it's possible he will need further treatment, depending on those lab results. If you've even taken the time to read all of this, I am infinitely thankful to you (and so is Clarky).