- Hello, my name is Chloe and I have been struggling with being an addict for 8 years. I was in a relationship from 13 years old to 21 one years old. I almost didn’t graduate high school because of my problem. I got expelled from high school the end of my sophomore year and through my junior year. I was so behind from missing my sophomore year & junior year I was told I have to go to alternative school to make those credits up. I asked “when I finish what I missed can I come back to school for my senior year?” I was told “no”. I started alternative school April of 2018. I pushed through all my courses as fast as I could. I wanted to walk the stage and get a diploma so very bad. Graduating high school was a huge accomplishment I wanted to accomplish. As most of my family & friends know I am not a person to get in trouble, so this was very hard for me to accept which led me to more substance abuse. I finished all my credits fast & they still told me I can’t come back to school. My family & I fought & fought and finally got the “ok” that I can come back to finish my senior year. I did EMT courses at OSU-OKC during my senior year, and was unable to finish my last class due to a drug test, so I didn’t finish because I knew I wouldn’t pass it. I still lived at home during the time, but was never home. I was working a part time, but full time hours as a hostess. Finally, when I turned 18 I was able to start serving and make more money and work overtime. I excelled in some places and failed in others. On one of my nights of not coming home and venturing off with my friends ended up being a huge wake up call. My grandmother found me on the ground in laying in my own throw up due to me having a seizure. She did everything she could and took me to the hospital to found out I overdosed. I stopped doing the things I was doing because the fear of waking up not knowing what happened and the trauma I put on my family. I continued working full time and did some amazing things, but turned to alcohol. After my long relationship came to an end I moved to downtown OKC. I was healing from the heart break and living on my own I continued my addiction. I totaled my car and broke my first bones (3 ribs) ever. I was without a car for a while due my accident. From getting rides to work, to walking to work I still didn't learn. I ended up at the bar every night trying to mask my childhood trauma and my trauma from my relationship. I was depressed, and ended up losing my job due to my addiction. Well I decided I had to move back home with my grandma and grandpa B. I was doing great for a little bit, started going live on TikTok and keeping my mind off of things, but didn't stop my addiction. I was hiding alcohol in my purse hiding it from my grandparents. I was still hanging out with the wrong crowd of people. I would leave for days and not come back home. I was tired of living like this, but I loved living with my grandparents. I just want to be that pure, innocent, gentle woman that I was raised to be. I decided to restart my life in ATX with my mom. My mom found the love of her life and moved to D.C. with him, and I took over her lease. I got a job on the lake and it was beautiful, but didn't stop my addiction. I missed my grandparents so very much I wanted to spend my birthday with them, so they got my plane ticket to come home for a week and even though I moved and got away from the wrong group of friends, some how I still ended up hanging out with that crowd. I flew back home, because I had to work the following day. I was tired and exhausted, but still went to work the next day. After my shift (5 days after my birthday) I went to hangout with some friends from work for a little late birthday celebration. I am leaving the bar and I immediately see red and blue lights behind me and I knew I was going to jail. Well I ended up getting arrested and spent 14 1/2 hours in jail. My great uncle picked me up with bruises all of me and I was scared to death being in there. I decided to get sober... well that lasted 2 days before I went to drink at the pool more with my new friends I have made in ATX. I lost my job again and I was just isolating and keeping my addiction going. On August 22nd I called my mom crying and told her "I am tired of living this life". My mom had no idea about my DUI because I tried to hide it from everyone. Well I told her and she immediately got on her computer while I was bawling, and I knew because I heard her typing. My mom hung up and I was chugging and crying so hard it felt like an hour. My mom called back 4 minutes later on the phone with an admissions for a rehab facility. I was so scared, but I knew I needed it help because I haven't learned my lesson. I had to leave my home, my vehicle and have no job. My mom got everything set up including my plane ticket. I packed everything I thought I needed, but I was very intoxicated so I didn't bring anything much. I brought clothes to get me through 3 days and only slippers. My family sent me some necessities. I am currently 17 days sober, and I am doing the full 90 days of recovery here in Colorado. I have nothing to come home to due to everything I lost because I destroyed my life due to my addiction. I really need help to not only pay for this treatment, but to get back on my feet when I get home. With this being said I am in a huge financial position with how expensive treatment is. I do not know what I will be coming home to, but I may be evicted.. I have honestly no idea. Treatment alone is going to cost me $92,000 due to me having no insurance. A little goes a long way, absolutely anything helps to help me pay for my treatment, my lawyer along with court fees. Even getting me food and a shelter for when I get out of rehab. This has been a tough journey I have kept quiet and suffered alone. I am coming to terms with something I didn't want to do, but I need as much help I can get. I will be sharing updates weekly :-)
Organizer
Chloe Miller (Organizer)
Organizer
Yukon, OK