Hi I’m Chiquita. I have until this Wednesday January 7th to raise $1500 to avoid eviction. I will then have 24hrs to vacate my apartment.

My landlord will only approve the $2000 emergency rental voucher I’ve qualified for from the city of Jacksonville , if I pay $1500 of my remaining balance ($3003) by the 7th.

—- The Story

Hi, I’m an artist who struggles with chronic mental illness.

I’m currently facing eviction & homelessness due to a drastic decrease in finances since going on FMLA/short term disability leave in October.

I’ve dealt with major depression since I was 18yrs old. I was officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2021. PTSD, OCD and anxiety/panic attacks have also been ongoing hurdles for my mental health. I was even hospitalized for a suicidal attempt years ago.

Though, I haven’t attempted suicide since, I have been plagued by suicidal & self harm ideations during the deepest valleys of depression. I’m currently having them daily. But God is, so I’m trying to be chill. AKA I’m breathing through this ish!#darkhumor #comedyaslevitytoreduceshameuntilthereisnoshame #hypergraphia Breathe. Continue with Love. Breathe. —

I have over two decades of therapy and years of being on antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications.

What I’ve learned and observed over the years is that healing and recovering from mental illness takes time. It takes community and it takes money. You need money to rest in this society.

There is no magic pill or cocktail of pills that will instantly cure mental illness. Many symptoms may be alleviated.

However, those results usually come after multiple attempts of medications that don’t work. These medications can have gnarly effects. From brain zaps, nausea, dizziness, mania, depression, memory loss, difficulty speaking, loss of libido or suicidal thoughts. I’ve experienced them all. Breathe. Continue. ——

Experiencing these symptoms over decades has been detrimental to my health, relationships and attempts to mask these unacceptable symptoms in society.

The issue is that our current system of helping those with mental illness is unrealistic. It’s watching someone drown while pointing out the reasons they’re drowning instead of helping them out of the water. ((this version of me is really angry. I don’t let her speak much so she bursts out whenever I am relaxed enough to get a word in. It can make it difficult to get work done or stay in one dimension; one reality.)))) #mentalillness #imdrowning #imawriter #zoranealhurston #dissociation #mania #myancestorsarenear. breathe.breathe. Continue. ——

The slogans of “It’s okay to not be Okay” “Just reach out” “Go for a walk” “Take some time off” aren’t helpful or available options depending upon the severity of the illness.

Taking time to deal with my illness has come with consequences. Mainly, jeopardizing my housing and ability to meet my basic needs.

So, sure the FMLA/STD was approved. But my monthly income was cut in half.

Mental illness is a huge problem that needs more attention not just slogans. At the end of the day mental illness is expensive literally and figuratively.

Even if you don’t take your own life, one’s quality of life is drastically reduced.

I also have been to afraid to accept and acknowledge that I have been experiencing chronic pain. My ego says, “How pathetic, the divine whispers breathe. ——

I wear 2 sets of knee braces daily just to walk. After about 7 minutes of walking I am in excruciating pain in my back. I wear a steel boned corset to support my spine just to be able to wash my dishes. After 15 minutes I am in excruciating pain but my dishes need to be washed so I wash. But my house is in a disarray from the last bout of depression. So much clutter so much overwhelm so much shame. So I stop. Stopping in sadness is painful. —— Breathe. Continue. (((Writing these words help to Bring me back to the present))) ——

Here are my Expenses:

RENT (Oct-Dec) $3,458

BANK ACCT (-134.94) so the positive of that.

EVICTION FILING: $463

GROCERIES $250/month

JAN RENT $1091.99 ((+ $100 late fee))

FEB RENT $1091.99 ((Lease ends FEB 28))

TOILETRIES + CLEANING SUPPLIES $125

PHONE $106 + $20 reconnection fee

JEA (Nov-Dec) $173

Health Insurance Premium $48.82

INTERNET $94 + $7.95 late fee

31- DAY BUS PASS $65

1 way UBER post grocery shopping $25

25+65+7.95+94+48.82+173+106+20+125+1191.99+1091.99+250+463+3458+134.95 ‎ = $7,245.70 ((( writing/adding numbers, excessive alarms for all daily tasks is how OCD shows up in me.)))

My goal will cover rent, utilities, transportation and food through February. My lease is up February 28, 2026.

Raising this money will allow me to rest without fear of immediate homelessness or inability to afford my medication. I’ve been without 1 of 2 medications for about a week. I also can not afford to purchase the prescription that was refilled. (($24 Lamotrigine 200mg)) #blessingindisguise #anger #breathe

The stigma, shame and severity of my mental illness symptoms has made asking for help extremely difficult. Thank goodness God is. Love Wins, and setting up a GOfundme in the midst of mental unrest, showed not only in word but in deed that I’m still trying to bring myself back to center. Self-regulation one step at a time. Because “Chiquita Steps Still Move Me Forward!” #affirmation #mantra #selfhelp

Some days I’m less depressed than others, but EVERYDAY I TRY! ICONtinue!!!

#trademarkPending #breathe #mania

Please consider donating or sharing my Gofundme campaign. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Also, it’s a pretty good read if I should say so myself. #comedy #mania #judgement #breathe #be Continue.

ANNNNnnnnd, I’ll be posting my art/therapy. I call them “Patience/patient’s/payshhhnce Projects.” I do these activities to help regulate my nervous system (12:12pm/numerology) breathe. Continue. — Focusing on a project re-directs my thoughts and body helps to ground me in the present. They are essentially mindfulness practices that can help ease mental illness symptoms

12:22pm (222 action / patience as action/ karma yoga/ authenticity). Breathe… Continue. —-

Remember, Chiquita is Bananas! Because she’s so talented and because of the debilitating mental illness. (((#comedy #healing #selfhelp #mania #hypergraphia))) Thank you.