- J
- E
Hello, I’m Catherine, mother of 4, lover of all. I share this story about my family’s journey in hopes that it will help to raise awareness about teenage mental illness and also to graciously ask for support in my quest to set my son up for success in this world.
Last year, during the summer of 2017, it became devastatingly apparent that I needed to get my 14 year old son help. His mental health was spiraling and unraveling. His mental health was declining rapidly before our eyes. Coming to terms with this reality was a process. I felt desperate and fearful that I was losing him to something darker and unknown. Instinctually knew that the only way to face this was head-on. I also knew that I could not do this alone. I did not have the skills or knowledge of how to handle it. I knew I had to find professionals who could help.
While he was in inpatient care, a social worker told me I would need to decide where I wanted my son to go before I lost that choice entirely. I was paralyzed by that statement. It was an out of body experience. It was so counterintuitive as a mom to send my son away instead of keeping him close.
I did not know what to do! I didn’t know where to start or where to find the courage to send my son into the great unknown but learned rapidly that him returning home was not in his best interest. I learned of excellent programs that existed out of state and were great options for my son. However, I DID NOT know how I would ever be able to afford one of these expensive programs. And then, I saw the price tag and my heart sank. This program cost more than many people make in an entire year. It was a life-modifying expense, but it was not optional. I simply had to find a way. Through my nearest and dearest family members I secured a massive loan and borrowed off retirement accounts and home equity loans.
A voice inside told me “Catherine you’d rather spend the money it takes to get your son well now rather then spend the same fortune after he gets worse and was harder to repair.”
Along the way, I learned a lot. In crisis situation like this, parents usually have a few choices: they can choose a systematic state-funded program, wait until it gets worse and your child is placed into a court ordered juvenile center, or select a private residential therapeutic treatment program.
I hired an Educational Consultant ($7000) who became a professional advocate for my son. She is an expert in the field of helping parents place their struggling youth into vetted therapeutic programs to set them on a path toward health and a brighter future. With her help, we carefully chose a Wilderness Therapy Program designed for kids just like my son. This program was based on interactions with mentors, other kids like my son and highly empathetic and effective therapists. The program is designed to empower kids to develop tools they can use for a lifetime. By using these tools, they have the power to write their own story. We put all of our trust is these professionals and this program and hoped for the best.
My son’s therapist in his Wilderness Therapy Program ($60,000) told me early on that Parenting 101 works for 90- 95% of the population. If I wanted to have a healthy relationship with my son and begin to foster healing for him and our family, I would have to get a higher level of education, “a PhD” on how to parent through hard times. I was learning on the job and the learning curve was steep! I would have to learn how to support my child through his coming of age story. And it didn’t look anything like what I had imagined for him. When talking to parents who get to parent through typical teenager issues, I am reminded that those of us who have kids struggling with mental health must take parenting to a new level.
After wilderness he needed additional support, more time and tools, so we sent him to an out of state Residential Treatment Center ($85,000). It was a hard decision but we needed to build upon the progress gained in wilderness. It cost $2300 per week and he learned that he is the solution to his own problem, emotional resilience, how identify and handle his triggers and empathy for others.
I’ve been so deeply touched and am forever grateful for the love and support I’ve received during the hardest year of my life. Many of you who have witnessed my family’s struggle have offered words of encouragement, prayers and have shared your own personal family stories of mental health struggles. The amount of love and support I’ve received from our closest family and friends helped me to move forward each day. I’m grateful for the angels who showed up while my heart was broken helping me to see new possibilities for the future
Having him away from me and our family home for a year was a huge loss I’ll never get back. And one I was willing to trade for the gain of him finding help through mentors, finding kids like him who were feeling lost and great therapists who could shed light on how he can navigate his story and find tools to his best self and future.
After a year of hard work, my son is now home. The gift of knowing his strengths, weaknesses, triggers and the effect he has on himself and others has made it all worth it!! It’s truly been life changing! My son is brave when he says that he is facing his shame head on and is respectfully honest about what he’s been through. He wants me to share our story in hopes of inspiring others. He has moved mountains and is insightful, loving and driven to succeed. He’s excelling and determined to go to college. He has a mature and healthy respect for life and puts his family first.
Coming home has been hard on him and all of us are adjusting back into our family life. We are all better off because of his transformation. Families get stronger though the hard times when they are willing and able to do it together. Therapy will be an ongoing support for him. He’s a starter on his JV basketball team and is making new friends and keeping some old. He’s an awesome big brother, a loving communicative son, a good student and finding his way in his own way.
If anyone has questions about our experience, the support we found for mental health and how to get answers we are here to help.
Many have genuinely offered to help along the way. There is such a negative stigma surrounding mental illness. I’ve had to fight my own inner shame and pride while considering sharing our story and asking for help. Once again, I am challenged to step outside my comfort zone as I ask for your support to help us make a dent in our resulting $150,000 medical debt that that gains more interest by the day. Every dollar will go straight to paying off the $150,000 loan. A little bit, would mean a lot.
I couldn’t have done any of this without my husband, my mom and dad, my sisters and their support, the angels who have literally shown up on my path (Sandy, Debbie, Mikey, Lisa, Melissa, Jennifer and many more). Thank you to all the loving hearts, kind words and people who have listened and been a soft place to land when I was so devastated!! That alone was a gift from God I will treasure forever.
Thank you for reading our story, caring for our family and considering donating to our cause. Please share my gofundme. Each donation will receive my eternal gratefulness and a handwritten note.
Last year, during the summer of 2017, it became devastatingly apparent that I needed to get my 14 year old son help. His mental health was spiraling and unraveling. His mental health was declining rapidly before our eyes. Coming to terms with this reality was a process. I felt desperate and fearful that I was losing him to something darker and unknown. Instinctually knew that the only way to face this was head-on. I also knew that I could not do this alone. I did not have the skills or knowledge of how to handle it. I knew I had to find professionals who could help.
While he was in inpatient care, a social worker told me I would need to decide where I wanted my son to go before I lost that choice entirely. I was paralyzed by that statement. It was an out of body experience. It was so counterintuitive as a mom to send my son away instead of keeping him close.
I did not know what to do! I didn’t know where to start or where to find the courage to send my son into the great unknown but learned rapidly that him returning home was not in his best interest. I learned of excellent programs that existed out of state and were great options for my son. However, I DID NOT know how I would ever be able to afford one of these expensive programs. And then, I saw the price tag and my heart sank. This program cost more than many people make in an entire year. It was a life-modifying expense, but it was not optional. I simply had to find a way. Through my nearest and dearest family members I secured a massive loan and borrowed off retirement accounts and home equity loans.
A voice inside told me “Catherine you’d rather spend the money it takes to get your son well now rather then spend the same fortune after he gets worse and was harder to repair.”
Along the way, I learned a lot. In crisis situation like this, parents usually have a few choices: they can choose a systematic state-funded program, wait until it gets worse and your child is placed into a court ordered juvenile center, or select a private residential therapeutic treatment program.
I hired an Educational Consultant ($7000) who became a professional advocate for my son. She is an expert in the field of helping parents place their struggling youth into vetted therapeutic programs to set them on a path toward health and a brighter future. With her help, we carefully chose a Wilderness Therapy Program designed for kids just like my son. This program was based on interactions with mentors, other kids like my son and highly empathetic and effective therapists. The program is designed to empower kids to develop tools they can use for a lifetime. By using these tools, they have the power to write their own story. We put all of our trust is these professionals and this program and hoped for the best.
My son’s therapist in his Wilderness Therapy Program ($60,000) told me early on that Parenting 101 works for 90- 95% of the population. If I wanted to have a healthy relationship with my son and begin to foster healing for him and our family, I would have to get a higher level of education, “a PhD” on how to parent through hard times. I was learning on the job and the learning curve was steep! I would have to learn how to support my child through his coming of age story. And it didn’t look anything like what I had imagined for him. When talking to parents who get to parent through typical teenager issues, I am reminded that those of us who have kids struggling with mental health must take parenting to a new level.
After wilderness he needed additional support, more time and tools, so we sent him to an out of state Residential Treatment Center ($85,000). It was a hard decision but we needed to build upon the progress gained in wilderness. It cost $2300 per week and he learned that he is the solution to his own problem, emotional resilience, how identify and handle his triggers and empathy for others.
I’ve been so deeply touched and am forever grateful for the love and support I’ve received during the hardest year of my life. Many of you who have witnessed my family’s struggle have offered words of encouragement, prayers and have shared your own personal family stories of mental health struggles. The amount of love and support I’ve received from our closest family and friends helped me to move forward each day. I’m grateful for the angels who showed up while my heart was broken helping me to see new possibilities for the future
Having him away from me and our family home for a year was a huge loss I’ll never get back. And one I was willing to trade for the gain of him finding help through mentors, finding kids like him who were feeling lost and great therapists who could shed light on how he can navigate his story and find tools to his best self and future.
After a year of hard work, my son is now home. The gift of knowing his strengths, weaknesses, triggers and the effect he has on himself and others has made it all worth it!! It’s truly been life changing! My son is brave when he says that he is facing his shame head on and is respectfully honest about what he’s been through. He wants me to share our story in hopes of inspiring others. He has moved mountains and is insightful, loving and driven to succeed. He’s excelling and determined to go to college. He has a mature and healthy respect for life and puts his family first.
Coming home has been hard on him and all of us are adjusting back into our family life. We are all better off because of his transformation. Families get stronger though the hard times when they are willing and able to do it together. Therapy will be an ongoing support for him. He’s a starter on his JV basketball team and is making new friends and keeping some old. He’s an awesome big brother, a loving communicative son, a good student and finding his way in his own way.
If anyone has questions about our experience, the support we found for mental health and how to get answers we are here to help.
Many have genuinely offered to help along the way. There is such a negative stigma surrounding mental illness. I’ve had to fight my own inner shame and pride while considering sharing our story and asking for help. Once again, I am challenged to step outside my comfort zone as I ask for your support to help us make a dent in our resulting $150,000 medical debt that that gains more interest by the day. Every dollar will go straight to paying off the $150,000 loan. A little bit, would mean a lot.
I couldn’t have done any of this without my husband, my mom and dad, my sisters and their support, the angels who have literally shown up on my path (Sandy, Debbie, Mikey, Lisa, Melissa, Jennifer and many more). Thank you to all the loving hearts, kind words and people who have listened and been a soft place to land when I was so devastated!! That alone was a gift from God I will treasure forever.
Thank you for reading our story, caring for our family and considering donating to our cause. Please share my gofundme. Each donation will receive my eternal gratefulness and a handwritten note.