I am calling this - For Paya - because Paya, my service dog, has saved me in more ways than I could begin to explain. She is my Aussie you will see in some photos. She is my life and all I have and I do not think I could have made it the past few years without her- I would not have.

This call for help is for Paya and I. Because if I cannot keep a roof over my head, or food in the kitchen, she suffers also directly or indirectly. My name is Cassie and I also go by Kali. if you saw me or knew me before the past few years, you probably would not believe my story, or where I am.

I am not a Buddhist, but this prayer gives me hope. I wanted to share it with you.

May I know love and cherish it,

May I know sorrow and embrace it,

May I know happiness and be enchanted,

May I know forgiveness and feel it.

May I know poverty and heal it.

May I know richness and give it away.

May I know wisdom and seek it,

May I know music and dance it.

May I know despair and enter it,

May I know heaviness and walk through it.

May I shed tears and feel empty,

May I know joy, so that I can shine.

May I know darkness so that I can pray.

May I know pain so that I may heal.

May I know shadow so that I become light.

This is me saying I do not want to know any more poverty and disappointment and I will no longer let others take advantage of me. This is me humbly asking you to help me overcome it all.

I am Master degreed, exceptionally bright and was blessed to be on top of the world for so much of my life, working my tail off and running a hugely successful business, having very strong financial successes and working in my passion, helping others authentically. I was even able to take time off and volunteer in India, South America, Indonesia and more. I have had so many blessings in my 62 years. Anyhow, long story short I lost everything. My house, car and life savings and every thing I owned, minus some clothes and the suitcases they now reside in. I have been silentlly suffering and the suffering has been growing really since the pandemic, moving from rental to rental and taking whatever I can for work and I happy to do anything and I do. I trusted the wrong people and I did not believe that evil or bad people existed, until one day I did. And suddenly I had to abandon everything but trying to keep a roof over my head and enough food in my body to survive. But when you reach this level of instability financially, you are living on the edge. This world I live in now is not only sad, but it is a form of hell on earth and every day is just a tad worse than the day before. Every day I wonder where will I go to after this month, week, 10 days and how will I get in there and will they accept a service dog and how can I apply for jobs if my computer breaks and now that my phone no longer has sound.

I am 62 years old and I am physically very strong. I am boderline briliant and have so many talents and I don't look 20 but I do not look 80 either so why does every job and interview I pursue deny me? What is the message in all of this and what am I being punished for? I am a very spiritual person and I am unable to find peace with how things are.

I have a few credit cards with small credit amounts, each maxed and they are facing account closure almost immediately. To not have $50 for an emergency is scary. I have an unemployment claim, only with $1600 due me, that has been lost in the system, since Janauary 10th of this year. My social security, which amounts only to 1600/month is delayed another 3 months because that is the earliest I can get an appointment for a phone application when there is a computer glitch on your online account.

I think these last few years of suffering has taught me so much. To have more love and compassion for everyone. To have more empathy and to have more gratitude for every little bit I do have, which I know is so much more than what so many people have in so much of the world. This is what makes me think I have no right to ask for help, and why I feel so unworthy asking, UNLESS I give back. And believe me I plan to.

So I am asking for help to get my feet firmly planted on the ground, so that I can begin to rebuild my life. This "senior hardship" club I now belong to is an underserved population and we are invisible.

My reords show I have applied for 957 jobs on Indeed alone, since March. I apply for work all day, every day and in between I work online and really anywhere doing what I can for whatever I can receive so I do earn a few hundred dollars here and there. I have interviewed at Starbucks, the local Ace Hardware for $9/hour, a gas station, you name it. I cold called for $5/hour also. Ironically, at the same time I have interviewed for Managment level roles in Business Development and Client Services in every corporate environment you can name. I know that I do not get the role because they see my age and that is the reality. I need to stop trying and to build a career supporting myself but I need stability to get into that space.

I do not know what to put for amount here. I think I am just now at this moment realizing how expensive it is to have the opportunities so many of us have or had. 10,000 dollars would allow me to rent something with stability, to buy a used computer and to maintain services that I need to find work and to communicate. 15,000 would prevent me from losing my credit, for realistically the rest of my life. I am praying for a path to rejoin the world so I can rebuild. I do not know how to do this where I am now, because all I can do is react to my instability and scramble for housing that is most often subject to a lawless landlord and food and that and looking for work is a full day. And this cycle of fear and stress is honestly very challenging and it is exhausting and I do not know how much longer I can continue it.

Your help would absolutely prevent my complete homelessness.

I used to teach yoga and I was so good at it. I would say to mothers who felt guilty practicing yoga because it took time away from thier children, "You have to take care of yourself in order to give what you can fullly give to your family." or "Learn to love yourself so that you can love others more deeply." When I would teach manifestation and energy, I would say "You have to ask for it" "Ask for it" and the universe will provide.

Right now, I am asking the Universe and I am asking for prayers and support. I do not want to wake up one day alone and living on the streets. I am scared, honestly. But also I am greatful for what I have and when half the world population has no access to clean water to drink.

Please share this with whom it makes sense.

Thank you.

Love Cass

Older photo and energy I hope to return to one day....