Help Cal Get Top Surgery

Help me get top surgery to feel at home in my body.

My name is Cal, and I realized I was not my gender assigned at birth close to a decade ago. Ever since, I have been on a journey of exploration and finding myself, discovering how to feel good in my own skin and a body that did not feel like mine. I can confidently say I am closer than ever to my goal.

I started to transition around 2018. Going by a different name and using different pronouns in a small circle of people drastically improved how I felt about myself. I was extremely blessed to have friends in high school who supported my gender exploration and continued to be supportive as I tried on new pronouns until I found the ones that fit. I had been aware of trans men since middle school, but after realizing I was one with the help of a supportive therapist, everything started to make more sense. For example, why I was so interested in trans creators online, and why I often caught myself in the bathroom mirror flattening my chest with my hands. I knew that I was deeply unhappy, but after beginning to transition, I realized why. I had gone most of my life up to that point feeling like I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t and feeling trapped in my body. The first time I wore a chest binder, I felt euphoria like I never had before, which only confirmed this further. Ever since then, I knew I wanted top surgery, which is a medical procedure that removes breast tissue and masculinizes the chest.

So, why have I waited until now?

Starting hormone replacement therapy was my first priority. On October 24th, 2020, I took my first testosterone shot. I believe having access to HRT was life-saving care. As my body began to change, I felt more and more like myself with every passing day. I finally started to recognize myself in the mirror. My mental health had improved dramatically. But now, more than ever, my chest began to feel alien. As the rest of my body changed, which brought immense joy and alleviation of dysphoria, my chest did not. And I was reminded of this every time I looked in the mirror or down at my own body. Unfortunately, accessing top surgery is not as easy as a simple doctor’s appointment. First, I needed to schedule a consultation a year in advance to see if I would qualify. In 2021, I finally had my first consultation and was told I would need to run a course of Accutane (which would take 4-6 months) to control acne I had on my chest, as well as obtain a letter from a therapist confirming the surgery was medically necessary before I could schedule the surgery date. While running the course of Accutane, I looked for a therapist who could help me obtain a letter, which unfortunately was also not easy, as I needed to find someone I could afford as a full-time college student. Additionally, most therapists would only write a letter after seeing someone for an extended period of time to truly determine whether the surgery was necessary. I eventually started seeing a counselor through my college, who said they would be able to write me a letter. Between all of this, I had a second consultation with a different surgeon who confirmed I was ready for the surgery, I just needed the letter. Once I obtained it, we would be able to schedule a surgery date for about a year out.

When I graduated from college, I could no longer see the counselor through my school. In our last session, she told me she didn’t feel she could write me a letter as I was struggling with my mental health. Unfortunately, a big contributor to my mental health was the gender dysphoria I was feeling due to my chest. I was extremely fortunate to find a new queer-friendly therapist who was able to write me a letter which acknowledged this and confirmed this surgery was medically necessary. From here, I was able to schedule a surgery date in October of 2025, five years after I had started the process of trying to get the surgery.

As I have waited, my need for top surgery has grown. As I have gotten older, I have started to develop full-body chronic pain, which I am currently working with a medical team to find the cause of. This has made it increasingly harder to bind my chest, as wearing a chest binder for any amount of time has begun to cause pain due to the pressure. I have tried everything from larger sizes to alternative forms of chest binding, all of which have been unsatisfactory or still pain-causing. This has put me in a situation where if I bind, I will physically be in pain, but if I don’t, I am dysphoric and very uncomfortable in public and in my own home. This has only increased as the political climate in the United States has made it increasingly frightening to be visibly trans in public.

The full estimated cost of the surgery is $8,030, which includes everything from pre- to post-op. Originally, my insurance agreed to pay about $1,000 of this, but due to unforeseen circumstances, I am now uninsured and will need to pay the full price. Additionally, I am currently unemployed due to having difficulty finding a job in the current market as someone visibly trans and my physical disability continues to progress.

All donations will go toward the surgery and my recovery. Thank you so much <3