Hey everyone! Here I am, with my tail tucked between my legs, asking for help for my husband and my family.

If you have been friends with us or following my IG/FB Page for a while, you already know what our life has looked like over the last 8 months. If not, hang on tight because I am about to tell you and boy is it a doozy…

My amazing and incredible husband, Brock has suffered something awful. Brock has had anxiety his entire life. It peaked when he went on his mission and he came home early with a medical release of separation anxiety. Not from any one person, but from familiar surroundings.

Back in September/October of 2023, Brock stopped taking his anxiety meds, because the cost was astronomical. We were paying $1700 out of pocket because insurance wouldn’t cover the medication. Our oldest was going on a mission and the burden of the cost for the medications was more than he mentally could handle.

Kaden left on his mission in November and headed out of the country in December. Brock hit rock bottom. Kaden came home and we thought things would get better… they didn’t!

We got Brock back on his meds, after talking with our dr, not realizing that Walgreens filled the wrong dose on his medication. (They filled a medication from 1-2 years previous. How this happens? We have NO IDEA.) Anyway, Brock got worse and worse. He couldn’t get out of bed, he couldn’t carry on a conversation. Things got really bad. We actually thought he had a stroke, but the MRI was clear. I spoke with his boss and we decided to have Brock take a leave of absence (unpaid) while he got help and got better. Problem is, inpatient facilities won’t take someone until they are suicidal and ready to pull the trigger. We didn’t know this until we went to several facilities here in Utah.

Brock went back to work after our money completely ran out and I couldn’t continue to sustain our financial needs on my own. After not even 2 weeks back, his boss called me and he ended up being let go from his job, with the understanding that he would qualify and get unemployment. Nope! He was denied. Turns out you can’t qualify for unemployment if you have a medical condition, including anything with mental health. We appealed this and it was denied without the possibility of appealing again.

Finally, we were sent to the LDS Access Center and sent to an awesome clinic with psych and counseling. Psych was able to get Brock on the correct medications and get him into an amazing counselor that we both love. There was a light at the end of the tunnel.

Long story short, the light went out quickly. After several months of therapy, literally trying EVERY SINGLE CONCOCTION and medication, including testosterone injections since his was so blasted low, we are down to 2 options. Ketamine or TMS. His Psychiatrist recommends Ketamine. The only problem is, health insurance will not cover it. They recommend he receives at least 4 doses, 6 if possible, but it is expensive. I have spoken with or heard stories from over 500 people (literally) in the last several hours and their success with Ketamine Infusions.

So, here I am with my tail between my legs asking for help. I have applied for over 100 different jobs. (Never had any problem getting a job, but have come to the conclusion that maybe I’m not supposed to work outside of the home right now. Since Brock cannot be left alone) as well as still baking and catering any event I possibly can. Saying no right now is not a luxury or option that I have.

If we can raise enough money for the injections, we can get started right away. If we raise a little more, then I am able to be with Brock and his apts and not have to continue to kill myself, to make ends meet and pay our bills. Our oldest son started a job and has been financially helping as well, which is NOT his job and it kills me.

It kills me to ask for help. It really does. Those of you know me, knows that I will do anything to help others but I HATE asking for help. I don’t have any other option right now.

Every single day, Brock looks at me, with tears in his eyes asking whats’s wrong with him and why he isn’t better. It’s not that I want the old Brock back… it’s that I want my husband to not be stuck, depressed, full of anxiety or to ever allow the thought of ending his life enter his head again. I love this man so much and will do anything I can to help him. I love him just as he is, but want to help him.

i just want to say thank you so much for taking the time to read this long post and for you willingness to help our family, either financially, by sharing this go fund me or by keeping us in your prayers. We are so grateful and appreciate it more than words can even say.