As many of you know justin and I have been together for a very long time. We have had the most amazing 12 years together and look forward to many more. But what most of you dont know is in that time, I have unfortunately suffered 3 miscarriages. Very few people in my life know about them. For so long our society has never been very encouraging about sharing those types of tragedies. Those of us who have had them are left feeling stuck between wanting to be sad but not wanting to be embarrassed by the looks of pity. Pulled between feeling happy for others about their good news but sorry for yourself because why me. For years this led me to not talk about the guilt and sadness I felt. I eventually altogether became terrified of the idea of trying to have a baby and having to experience another loss.

So, for many years I made excuses not to, we should get better jobs, we should get nicer cars, we should buy a house. Then as the years passed, we did all of that, but eventually I finally felt like it was the right time and I had built up the courage to put my all into finding out what was wrong. I knew that having 3 miscarriages was not something normal, one yes, two maybe, but 3 was not a coincidence. So, I decided it was time we got answers.

For the past year Justin and I have had every test imaginable ran on us and everything was healthy and normal. Until recently we had karyotype testing done, and we have learned that I am a balanced translocation carrier, which means I have two chromosome pieces that have switched places. This does not cause myself any physical or mental disability. But it does affect me having more embryos that have chromosomal issues than the average person. So, we have been instructed that IVF will be the route we have to take so they can separate the healthy embryos from the abnormal ones.

While it feels good to finally have an answer and know that the miscarriages had a cause. We are now faced with a very large financial need. While I hate to ask for such a thing, we could use all of the help we can get. Even if you are not able to donate, your prayers and kind words are just as equally appreciated. If you would like to talk with me about your own struggles, offer advice, or ask me questions I would be glad to. Many of our friends and family have told us how great of parents we would make and I hope some of you can help us in any way that you can to make that happen.

From the bottom of our hearts thank you!

Justin & Brittany Cole