I spent all of my 20s in survival mode, jumping from place to place and trying to survive because of the neglect of my family. My dad is a pastor, so I grew up in an oppressive household where I was always under a magnifying glass. My childhood was presented as a good life, but I never had a normal childhood. I have experienced suicidal ideation since middle school, and my family never afforded me the therapy I needed. Even now, they mark me and, when they are all together at family gatherings that they don’t invite me to, they call me delusional in front of my nieces and nephews. They regularly deny things that they’ve done to me and say I’ve made it up.

My brother attacked me while I was homeless, and my parents wouldn't let me stay with them because “he was there first”. After I made a GoFundMe sharing my experience, they guilt tripped me and forced me to take it down in order to stay in their home, I had no choice. I stayed with my parents and was depressed for months, barely eating or leaving the room I was in. Eventually, I found a low-paying job in Chicago, commuting every morning at 4 AM for three hours by train to make enough money to move out of my parents' house and accept cheap housing in Englewood, Chicago, one of the worst neighborhoods, where I was robbed regularly. That's when I moved in with my boyfriend.

I lost my job because I used most of my paid time off to attend court dates for the case against my brother, which kept getting continued. The one time I missed court, he was let off the hook and got away with it. My family has continued to isolate me, and I have gone no contact with them due to ongoing emotional harm. As a queer person, my family was homophobic and forced me to go to church, and my dad called me the devil in front of everyone. He now denies this ever happened. No one has checked on me or cared about my well-being, and I have been left to navigate life on my own. having any continued interaction with anybody in my family is not an option for me anymore. One of my current roommate makes racist comments insinuating harm to me, and I am desperate to move to a safer environment. I have not had access to therapy and have been barely coping, especially as I experience suicidal thoughts. Today is my birthday, and I am feeling especially alone, but I am determined to keep going.