On Friday, July 16th, my step-dad Tony was driving his work truck down Ft. Lowell when he suffered a sudden cardiac arrest and passed out at the wheel. This caused him to crash his work vehicle into a small rock wall on the side of the road. Witness reports state that they saw Tony slump over in the driver seat seconds prior to crashing. Once medics arrived, Tony was still unconscious. They immediately began CPR and life saving measures on the road. It took medics 20 minutes working on the scene and on the way to the trauma center before they were able to regain a heartbeat.
Upon arrival, Tony coded once again, medical staff once again performed CPR, electric shock and medication. This happened a total of 3 times. CPR was administered for a total of 45 combined minutes. Once stable, Tony was transferred to the cath lab for surgery. My mom was still at home and had no idea what was happening during all of this. It was minutes later that Tony’s bosses were able to reach my mom and drive her to the ER to be with Tony.
When my Mom got to the ER they advised she would need a social worker and she still had no idea what was happening as she had just woken up and was rushed to be with Tony. Once police were able to take their info, the social worker took my Mom to the cath lab where she met with the trauma team and the team of Cardiologists helping Tony.
After about another hour or so, the head cardiologist came to speak with my Mom. They gave her two options. Tony might be saved using an Impella device that might keep his heart beating or place Tony on ECMO to allow his body and heart time to rest and heal. She had to make a decision quickly with no time research or reach out for help. At this time, my mom had to make the most difficult decision of hers and Tony life and based off information given at that moment she chose to place Tony on ECMO not knowing fully that it was ultimately Life Support.
After another 4 hours my mom was finally able to see Tony in the ICU. The instant she saw him, she knew and felt in her heart that he was no longer with us. Upon realizing ECMO was indeed Life Support, my mom asked Doctors to end life saving measures as Tony was in extremely critical condition at this point. This was also never part of Tony’s wishes should he ever reach this point in life. Plus he was without oxygen or pulse for 45 minutes. Even if his heart survived, his brain didn’t. But because of his age and young children at home the doctors pleaded to allow them to continue working. Through the power of medicine and the 4 RNs that worked on him around the clock, Tony’s heart beat for an additional 12 hours after the initial incident and my Mom stayed by his side in the ICU the entire time.
On the morning of Saturday, July 17th the Heads of the 3 Teams working on Tony advise my mom that Tonys kidneys were shutting down and his heart was starting to slow down as well. At this point my Mom decided that Tony had gone through enough. She decided to remove Tony from Life Support at that time.
I was lucky enough to be able to be by my Moms side as they removed all Life Saving devices. Once this was complete, my Mom and I were able to hold Tony’s hands as his heart beat for the last time one minute after all devices and medications were removed/stopped. He was the most peaceful we had ever seen him at that point.
To say this has been hard, is an understatement. My Mom is having a difficult time, me and my sister and brother are too.
This brings us to now…
Tony always provided for our family no matter what. Once he and my mom married, they were able to add Life insurance policies to assure that we would continue to be provided for financially. Since Tony was taken in as a trauma, there are lots of “hurry up and wait” moments. Like, the attending physician needs to fill out forms or she needs to wait for the death certificate to arrive. My Mom has been told it will take approximately 3-4 weeks before anything is processed and before she will receive an actual pay out from any of their insurances.
In the meantime, my Moms household went from a decent two income home to a one income home. While I no longer live at home, I will be helping her care for and support my younger sister and brother. There are many bills to pay, phone bills, electric bills, internet bill(my mom works from home), groceries, gas for the vehicle, car payment, PLUS back to school clothes, shoes and supplies shopping for my siblings.
I am pleading with all to please help my Mom bridge the gap from now until she can receive the insurance payments. Any amount received now will go directly toward the direct care of my younger siblings and to maintaining their home for the next month. Any amount left over will go toward paying off Tony’s cremation cost, which was paid for on credit by a family member.
We are all devastated by his loss. Tony was loved by so many and lots of you have reached out asking how to help…well this is it. Please help my Mom stress a little less.
Thank you!
Jasmine