Help me get treatment for PTSD.

Irony is a fickle beast. Thirty years ago, almost to the day, my father ended his own life. He served in the Navy and was a nurse. In a few days, I will be 39, the age my dad was when he committed suicide. If you asked me on New Year's Eve, if that thought crossed my mind, I would say no. However, this year has put me through the wringer.

Breakdown of expenses:

$5700 - Initial treatment goal met.

$3431 - ambulance ride to CHOMP

$3253 - remainder of bill for Hospitalization in Crisis Stabalization Unit.

Remaining goal balance to help pay for other treatment expenses. Travel, medications, copay for doctor visits, etc.

Hello, my name is Chris Brabant, and I am trying to get treatment for PTSD. I have enrolled in Harmony Home Inpatient, and I am trying to raise money to pay my copay and deductible. I am a high school history teacher who wants to take care of my mental health so I can get back to my true passion, teaching. In my classroom, I have seen over 3000 students come through. They are now doctors, lawyers, a few prisoners (including a few 20 lifers), and sadly some work in the fields.

Update: I need $2700 by Monday, April 29th, to start treatment. The other 2700 will be due in about a month. I have a little bit of liquid assets, but I need therapy because I have been unhealthy mentally. I need help. I have no plans to do things but have been suffering intrusive thoughts.

I have five children. My first child is my son Ryan he is half black, and came into my life at 9 months old. He suffered a sub dermal hematoma due to lack of care. My second child came a few days later. Taylor inspires me because the amount of trauma she has makes me look like a stepford wife; if she can survive so can I. Next came Aiden, half Fillipino, he is truly my child; eventhough we share no genetics. We both have ASD and go through life with all the gifts that come with that. Next came Sophia she is my step daughter (to be) once I marry the love of my life. Finally, my first biological child was born to me six months ago, his smile lights up my life. If it wasn't for my kids I would have probably given up on life a few months ago. They are my reasons to live.

This is a more thorough version of what has happened this year. However, my employer has said not to speak with any employees or students about it so if you fall in either of those categories do not read that link. It is a work in progress as every time I go to write about this year it gives me severe anxiety.

How did I get PTSD? On January 9th of this year, my daughter, a freshman, was running on the track at my school. She ran into a broken bench that the soccer players had moved onto the track during practice. She received two significant lacerations to her legs.

I was pulled from my classroom to sit with her in the nurse's office while we waited for the ambulance. The scene of the nurse's office covered in her blood got locked into my mind.

When I saw the bench that my daughter ran into, I became incensed with anger. My ex-wife has filed a lawsuit against the school district on behalf of my daughter.

I tried to push through the daily anxiety of going to work, but I had trouble sleeping, made self destructive choices, isolated myself from my friends, and tried to survive. I was placed on administrative leave from work and when I went to my primary care physician to get a doctors note, I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I filed a worker's compensation claim for the injury, but the insurance company has "delayed" my claim while they investigate if the injury is work-related. I have been seeing the WC doctor and was referred for psychiatric analysis. I was diagnosed with Acute PTSD and referred to in-patient care. I am working on getting this covered through WC insurance and have a lawyer supporting this, but to start treatment, I need to pay my deductible for my private insurance until the WC insurance investigates if this is work-related.

I want to get back to work and help young students explore the world. Your donation will help me pay my deductible to get support for my PTSD. If my case is covered by workers comp the funds will be used to cover legal expenses for my daughter and myself to make sure that no student is injured at a school again.

There is so much more to this story that I am working on writing down, but right now my district is still "investigating" me. I can not share the details because the district will not allow me to. This is not an investigation into something I did in my room, but something that a student did. I caught them and called for help from supervisors. They came... then left me when I asked for help. The student did not receive any punishment, but I have been on leave for almost 10 weeks.

That is the bill I have to pay in order to be taken into the program. It is a several week program that I will be in from 8-230. I feel bad for even asking for help since I work in a poor community, but I have given everything of myself for my students, and I need help now.

If you can not help financially help me share my story. I have been nominated one of the most inspirational teachers at my school several times, and Friday I am supposed to be at a celebration for my outstanding work in civics education, but my school district has restricted me from going. Update I didn't get to go, to the award ceremony.

Again, I am attaching my journaling to this My story a work in progress. If I can not make enough money to get my PTSD treated at least my story could be heard. The daily thoughts of worthlessness and self-ending have drained my spirit, but I will keep fighting because I can't let my students and family down I will fight for justice.