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As I sat down to begin writing my story, I found myself at a loss for words. It was hard to reflect on the humiliation, confusion, and pain I endured physically and mentally.
My life changed two years ago. In 2019, I lost the job I loved for the past 22 years. Soon later, I started developing an indescribable pain that covered my body. Doctors performed multiple tests but no one could diagnose me or provide any explanation. I decided to take my situation to a doctor in Vienna. By now, my body developed bruises all over my legs, thighs, and stomach. Countless tests were performed yet, still all returned negative leaving me in the same position as before. The doctor in Vienna predicted cancer. Therefore, I returned to LA. By the time I returned, my pain reached maximum and I was forced into the emergency room 3-4 times a week for the next 9 months.
It was during these emergency visits where I felt the most disrespect, humiliation, and disorder. At one of the visits, a doctor told me they are taking my bed away because there are patients who actually need them. I was taken aback. My blood pressure was 160/99, I lost 35 pounds, had no control over my bladder, and barely had the ability to walk with the excruciating muscle spasms in my back. Yet, I continued to be questioned on the reality of my symptoms. It made me think I was going insane, why did no one believe me?
Since I could no longer drive my car, I called my friends to drive me home. That evening, I lost feeling in my left leg. Luckily, I was approached soon after by a doctor I had not met yet (thank God because I was at the end of my rope). The doctor ordered a full MRI of my entire spine and finally… I received an explanation. I was enduring spinal decompression– which, if any doctor thought outside the box, they would’ve been able to treat me a lot sooner. I had all the CT scans and X-rays done and even a colonoscopy, yet, not a single doctor until now ordered an MRI. That night, the doctor revealed to me that I have been diagnosed with spinal cancer and Leukemia. I was 24 hours away from paralyzation, so he ordered me an ambulance to transfer me to a different hospital since I needed immediate surgery.
There was so much movement, noise, and commotion. My world was spinning as I was still trying to process the news, I had just been delivered. I couldn’t think, I became numb. The next thing I knew, a day passed and I was on the operating table. The surgery lasted 17 hours and required many blood transfusions. It resulted in me having me numerous screws and Titanium hardware in my back to hold my vertebrates up straight. Thank you to Dr. Ganocy, his amazing team, and my PA, J. Barresi.
When I awoke from this massive surgery, a rush emotions filled me. I was scared, helpless, and in major pain. My body continued to be strained for the next couple days during rehabilitation. But, finally, I was able to go home. Home was not easy, it came with many setbacks. The first being that I grew four blood clots near my lungs and had to be admitted to the hospital for three days. The next setback followed only a few days later. The doctors had an additional diagnosis for me– multiple myeloma, a cancer that carries a 5 yer survival rate.
This journey has been tiresome. Though, I thank God for all my good friends. Since I was forced into a wheelchair, I moved into a friend's one-story house for three and a half weeks. She selflessly drove me to the hospital every two days so that I can be evaluated. One week in with her, I collapsed and had to return to the hospital. The doctors told me I had to wait up to three months to see if I can't even stand on my left leg. I longed for this nightmare to end.
More X-rays, more CT scans, more MRIs all confirming the cancer aggressively eating my spine– T9 from the RT and T9 from the LT. The tumor was too large and delicate for the doctors to remove, entirely. I was put on a five-week radiation trial. I could no longer withstand a full day and had to constantly lie for rest. Fortunately, my sister flew from Europe to help for six weeks.
Presently, I face a new challenge. I have two broken ribs which have obstructed my breathing. I am being monitored since they have found three new spots on my ribs and hips. In the meantime, I have been prescribed a new drug, Zometa, that is designed to help brittle bones. I receive this transfusion on a three-month periodic basis. In addition, I take 25% Revlimid, a chemo pill that breeds side effects of hair loss and mouth sores, weakness and the biggest concern, it creates blood clots increasing my chance of a stroke or a heart attack. Also, I have to give myself belly shots of Enoxaparin 60 mL twice a day– it is prescribed to help minimize the blood clots near my lungs.
These prescriptions have been helpful. I graduated from a wheelchair to a back brace to now a cane! Additionally, I got a shower chair which has been a huge aid. These are big steps and I am grateful but I wish the doctor would be honest with me and admit that I will not get my old life back. My diagnoses have exhausted me. Prior to developing cancer, I was able to work two jobs, run numerous errands, and explore during my day. Now, I can only complete one or two tasks before having to return to my bed to rest. I can barely stand for a long time without assistance, I am fatigued by 4 PM, I can no longer dive, paddle board, hike – all the activities that I was so passionate about just two years ago. I understand this a new phase in my life, it has just become difficult to acknowledge it.
I have to say, I have gained a lot from these past two years including the recognition that life is a gift. In continuing my reflection, and watching the change in office, I grow anxious. An exciting anxiety that is filled with hope for the future. A wish for peace and happiness in these coming years. I look forward to new research on cancer, new studies that will help doctors treat my leukemia and multiple myeloma.
We must work together to solve these issues. Mentally and financially we can give to our community so that advancements can be made in the subject of cancer.
My diagnosis has infected my body and mind. The chemo brain has impacted my mental health, heart, and soul quite a bit. With my family abroad, I had to fight this disease alone.
Any contributions would be greatly appreciated so that my rent and medical expenses can be satisfied. But, what I need, are your continued prayers.
We can do this.
I can do this.
I wish everyone a healthy and happy 2021.
Much gratitude,
Brigitte Bartzen
#FightingCancer #Spinaldecompression #Leukemia #MultipleMyeloma #Chemo
My life changed two years ago. In 2019, I lost the job I loved for the past 22 years. Soon later, I started developing an indescribable pain that covered my body. Doctors performed multiple tests but no one could diagnose me or provide any explanation. I decided to take my situation to a doctor in Vienna. By now, my body developed bruises all over my legs, thighs, and stomach. Countless tests were performed yet, still all returned negative leaving me in the same position as before. The doctor in Vienna predicted cancer. Therefore, I returned to LA. By the time I returned, my pain reached maximum and I was forced into the emergency room 3-4 times a week for the next 9 months.
It was during these emergency visits where I felt the most disrespect, humiliation, and disorder. At one of the visits, a doctor told me they are taking my bed away because there are patients who actually need them. I was taken aback. My blood pressure was 160/99, I lost 35 pounds, had no control over my bladder, and barely had the ability to walk with the excruciating muscle spasms in my back. Yet, I continued to be questioned on the reality of my symptoms. It made me think I was going insane, why did no one believe me?
Since I could no longer drive my car, I called my friends to drive me home. That evening, I lost feeling in my left leg. Luckily, I was approached soon after by a doctor I had not met yet (thank God because I was at the end of my rope). The doctor ordered a full MRI of my entire spine and finally… I received an explanation. I was enduring spinal decompression– which, if any doctor thought outside the box, they would’ve been able to treat me a lot sooner. I had all the CT scans and X-rays done and even a colonoscopy, yet, not a single doctor until now ordered an MRI. That night, the doctor revealed to me that I have been diagnosed with spinal cancer and Leukemia. I was 24 hours away from paralyzation, so he ordered me an ambulance to transfer me to a different hospital since I needed immediate surgery.
There was so much movement, noise, and commotion. My world was spinning as I was still trying to process the news, I had just been delivered. I couldn’t think, I became numb. The next thing I knew, a day passed and I was on the operating table. The surgery lasted 17 hours and required many blood transfusions. It resulted in me having me numerous screws and Titanium hardware in my back to hold my vertebrates up straight. Thank you to Dr. Ganocy, his amazing team, and my PA, J. Barresi.
When I awoke from this massive surgery, a rush emotions filled me. I was scared, helpless, and in major pain. My body continued to be strained for the next couple days during rehabilitation. But, finally, I was able to go home. Home was not easy, it came with many setbacks. The first being that I grew four blood clots near my lungs and had to be admitted to the hospital for three days. The next setback followed only a few days later. The doctors had an additional diagnosis for me– multiple myeloma, a cancer that carries a 5 yer survival rate.
This journey has been tiresome. Though, I thank God for all my good friends. Since I was forced into a wheelchair, I moved into a friend's one-story house for three and a half weeks. She selflessly drove me to the hospital every two days so that I can be evaluated. One week in with her, I collapsed and had to return to the hospital. The doctors told me I had to wait up to three months to see if I can't even stand on my left leg. I longed for this nightmare to end.
More X-rays, more CT scans, more MRIs all confirming the cancer aggressively eating my spine– T9 from the RT and T9 from the LT. The tumor was too large and delicate for the doctors to remove, entirely. I was put on a five-week radiation trial. I could no longer withstand a full day and had to constantly lie for rest. Fortunately, my sister flew from Europe to help for six weeks.
Presently, I face a new challenge. I have two broken ribs which have obstructed my breathing. I am being monitored since they have found three new spots on my ribs and hips. In the meantime, I have been prescribed a new drug, Zometa, that is designed to help brittle bones. I receive this transfusion on a three-month periodic basis. In addition, I take 25% Revlimid, a chemo pill that breeds side effects of hair loss and mouth sores, weakness and the biggest concern, it creates blood clots increasing my chance of a stroke or a heart attack. Also, I have to give myself belly shots of Enoxaparin 60 mL twice a day– it is prescribed to help minimize the blood clots near my lungs.
These prescriptions have been helpful. I graduated from a wheelchair to a back brace to now a cane! Additionally, I got a shower chair which has been a huge aid. These are big steps and I am grateful but I wish the doctor would be honest with me and admit that I will not get my old life back. My diagnoses have exhausted me. Prior to developing cancer, I was able to work two jobs, run numerous errands, and explore during my day. Now, I can only complete one or two tasks before having to return to my bed to rest. I can barely stand for a long time without assistance, I am fatigued by 4 PM, I can no longer dive, paddle board, hike – all the activities that I was so passionate about just two years ago. I understand this a new phase in my life, it has just become difficult to acknowledge it.
I have to say, I have gained a lot from these past two years including the recognition that life is a gift. In continuing my reflection, and watching the change in office, I grow anxious. An exciting anxiety that is filled with hope for the future. A wish for peace and happiness in these coming years. I look forward to new research on cancer, new studies that will help doctors treat my leukemia and multiple myeloma.
We must work together to solve these issues. Mentally and financially we can give to our community so that advancements can be made in the subject of cancer.
My diagnosis has infected my body and mind. The chemo brain has impacted my mental health, heart, and soul quite a bit. With my family abroad, I had to fight this disease alone.
Any contributions would be greatly appreciated so that my rent and medical expenses can be satisfied. But, what I need, are your continued prayers.
We can do this.
I can do this.
I wish everyone a healthy and happy 2021.
Much gratitude,
Brigitte Bartzen
#FightingCancer #Spinaldecompression #Leukemia #MultipleMyeloma #Chemo
Organizer and beneficiary
Birgit Bartzen
Beneficiary