Reuniting Ben and his Birth Mother

Hi, my name is Alice Hong and in 2019 I virtually met my 3rd cousin, Ben Gattey, via 23 and Me --- he lives in Arizona with his wife and I live in New York City with my husband and two kids. He was using the DNA testing service in hopes of uncovering his roots —Ben was adopted from Korea when he was 4 years old by a loving American family. Though he has some fuzzy memories of his time in Korea, Ben has more questions than answers about the people and country he left behind 45 years ago. Wanting to solve the mysteries surrounding his birth family and the circumstances surrounding his adoption, Ben, with the help of his wonderful and loving sister (who is really awesome BTW) started to search for his biological mother. Last month, after a search that has spanned years, Ben received some exciting news --- his mother is still living, residing in Korea AND she is equally excited that they’ve found one another.

Now that they’ve found eachother, the next step is to try and coordinate an in-person reunion. That’s where I think we can help…at 80 years old, Ben’s mother is unable to easily travel to the States, so Ben must travel to Korea if they are to re-connect in person. I've set up this gofundme page to defray expenses for Ben to travel to Korea so that he can finally make the familial and cultural connections that he's wondered about all these years.

I hope that we collectively pull together to make this reunion a reality. This extended trip will support Ben as he re-establishes bonds to his birth mother, solidifies connections to his biological family's history, and uncover facets of his identity that have eluded him for the last 50 years. Funds will go towards flights, transportation, lodging, guides, translators, and travel insurance. The duration is expected to be approximately two months. Any portion of the funds that are unused will be donated to XXX.

I've copied and pasted below the message that Ben sent to his friend and family upon finding his birth mom. I was overwhelmed with emotion when I read it last week, and I think you'll feel the same. Would you pllease consider making a donation in support of this trip of a lifetime for Ben and his birth mother --- no amount is too small. Thanks!!! Alice

Just wanted to share…… those of you that actually know me knows I was adopted at the age of 4. Fast forward 40 years later, I realized that I would like to try and find any living relatives. I took DNA tests with AncestryDNA and 23and me and hoped something might come of it. My sister Kimberly Gattey took my information and got in touch with a group that assigns “angels” to assist in searching for birth parents of adoptees. I submitted my DNA to GedMatch as well and finally got a contact with an agency in South Korea that dealt with Holt adoption agency and might be able to help with locating records. After quite awhile I got a little discouraged because the only thing I found was some 3rd cousins that are so removed that I figured I most likely will never find any living family. Then about a month or so, I was contacted by the agency in S Korea stating that they had found some of my adoption paperwork and gave me information that was contradicting to what I thought all my life. In fact, my birth mother was un-wed and in that time and culture, not having a father listed on birth documents would ensure that I could not have an education, a career and even not even receive a full citizenship. She did what she could for 4 years as a single mom and finally made the decision to adopt me out to the US where she knew I would have a better chance at a life. She had custody of me until about July 1976 which I was sent to a foster home until my adoption in December 1976. Anyway, they said they had an address but it was very old but they would send a certified letter to that address 3 times and after that they would not be allowed to assist due to privacy laws. I was hopeful but still prepared myself for disappointment. A couple weeks later….. I receive an email really late at night… they received a response and said my birth mother was alive and excited that I found her. Apparently, she would routinely check with Holt and update them with her contact information in the hopes I may come looking. Her last update was a long time ago but it was because she had married and she still lived at that address even though her husband had passed years ago. I found my birth mother and we have been able to send a few emails but with the language barrier and time difference it makes it difficult. I am starting to save money so I can see her. She said she wanted me to come in April (like next month) bu I told her it’s very expensive and I would need to save and plan. So hopefully I will be able to go to South Korea and visit for at least a month but hopefully 2 months. Anyway, the picture is my birth mother (current) and me at my adoption (Dec 1976, age 4).