Hail and well met! My name is Ayves. I’m a 32 year old transmasculine person. I’m a flight attendant by trade, an aspiring writer by heart, and I love to make people around me laugh. I love D&D and might be a little obsessed with Baldur’s Gate 3.

In 2025, I want to finally get gender affirming top surgery.

I was an early bloomer, and from the jump, I really hated my chest, but I didn’t really know how to articulate why I felt such a strong dislike for something I was always told I should be excited about.

I grew up in Florida (and spent the first 28 years of my life there) without the proper tools or language I needed to explore my own gender identity. Even if I did have a word for the way I felt, I know my family would have never supported me. They did always know how much I hated my chest, and my mom even talked about radical reduction as an option, but that didn’t really feel right. I wanted them completely gone.

Thankfully, half a lifetime of hating myself later, I finally figured out why the disdain for my body wasn’t a passive teenage whim. I left Florida in 2022 and moved to Washington state to pursue a career, and my lovely fiancé followed me along for the ride. A year later, because of the safety we fostered together in the life we built, I finally felt comfortable enough to question why I’ve been living uncomfortably for so long as a woman.

So I came out as trans, which has been the best thing I have done for my mental health in a long time. I started transitioning socially after coming out, and last month, I finally kicked off HRT and started taking testosterone.

I’ve scheduled my first top surgery consultation in January, and I’m on track to getting the letter of support I need for the surgery in a few weeks. I’m reeling with excitement, but nervous about costs. I live paycheck to paycheck, which has made saving for this surgery while juggling bills a challenge. I already intend to sell a lot of my possessions to try and cover as much as I can.

On top of that, part of the post-op recovery involves resting and not raising your arms above your chest for around 6 weeks or so, but I am a fairly short flight attendant, and raising my arms above my chest to close bins and go through the contents of the galley is a big part of what I do on an average flight, so I am likely going to be out for 2 months as I recover.

Your help would really help me ease some of that burden. I am hopeful that my insurance’s OOP maximum ($2,000) is all I will need to pay for the surgery itself. An additional $2,499 will help me cover my rent for the potential three months I am in recovery. An additional $1,200 will help me cover bills. The difference is for car rentals/transportation, body pillows, compression binders, scar care, and any other unexpected expenses that may crop up. I will update my goals after talking to my surgeon and getting a better idea about what sort of costs I may incur.

I’m not great at asking for help. But the dysphoria has become really difficult to overcome. In 31 years of my life, I have never really seen myself when I look at a mirror. Please help me see myself as I was always meant to be.

Thank you for your time! I’m forever grateful for your love, your care, and consideration.

You’re not alone in this - none of us are. —Astarion, Baldur’s Gate 3