Help Ash overcome lifelong illness.

Hey y'all my name is Ashley, but friends call me Ash. I am a 38 year old wife, and momma to two amazing little girls. I am seeking treatment for a lifelong illness that is extremely expensive and there is no insurance that will cover it. I am unable to work due to my health issues and my family is struggling to make ends meet.

My story starts a long time ago, I was around 10 years old when I started having symptoms, but after my period started at 12 things got substantially worse. By the time I was 15 I was regularly seeing doctors and a therapist for severe mental and emotional problems. They put me on birth control and antidepressants which didn't do much more than give me terrible side effects so I stared self medicating with meth. When I was 17 I got kicked out of High School, because I was so strung out. It was a blessing as it got me clean for about 18 months, but I couldn't escape how off I always felt. I was still regularly seeing doctors, but all they ever did was put me on more pills so I turned back to meth and went non-stop until I was 22. Until I had a, "drug induced manic episode" that scared me straight.  

With God's amazing grace, my momma by my side, and an NA group I was able to overcome my addiction and I have now been in recovery for 15 years. However, I was still struggling really bad with my health. By the time I was 25 I had been fired from over 25 jobs, but the doctors just kept telling me there was nothing wrong with me. At 26 my husband and I welcomed our first baby girl into the world. After having her my health issues started to get worse, I got hit with a post-partum depression that never went away and the physical symptoms started. I started going to bed on a heating pad every night, because my back hurt so bad. At 28 I got pregnant with my second daughter and during my pregnancy I decided I was going to take my health into my own hands, because I couldn't get anywhere with medical doctors. 

I started reading EVERYTHING I could get my hands on, I started changing my diet and working out, I was determined to feel better! And I did to an extent. Going dairy free and stopping fast food cleared up the horrible stomachs issues I had been having my entire life. At one point as a teenager I even had a scope done. I'll give you one guess what they told me ........ there was nothing wrong with me. I kept on educating myself and trying new things until 2018, when I was 34, when what started out as one of the best years of my life fell apart and led me into the hardest years of my life. I went from being in the best shape of my life and rocking my home based business to the deepest depression I'd ever experienced. I had completely burnt myself out trying to pretend I was okay when I wasn't. My marriage was a nightmare, because I was so unstable. I put on a good show for the rest of the world, but my life had been falling apart since .... always. I just learned to hide it as well as I could, until I couldn't. 

In January of 2019 out of complete desperation I let my old chiropractor talk me into allowing him to do a hormone procedure on me with the help of a local Nurse Practitioner. They had started doing BioTe and since I was getting no where with doctors and I always knew I had something wrong with my hormones, I did it. I got the pellets and they prescribed me Armor Thyroid. That night I almost passed out in the shower and for the next 6 weeks I got sicker and sicker. Anxiety like I had never experienced, constant panic attacks, horrible migraines, pain all over my body, and intense heart palpations and tremors. Every week I went in there they just kept telling me I was adjusting. At 6 weeks they checked my blood and said everything looked good, when right on the front in RED it showed my TSH level was dangerously low. 

2 weeks later I made an emergency appointment to see my regular doctor, because I had such a horrible period I thought I may have had a miscarriage. My mind was racing out of control, my heart was pounding out of my chest, I felt like I was under water, I didn't know if I was completely losing my mind or dying, but I was not okay. After 2 hours with my doctor I pulled that bloodwork out of my purse and I'll never forget the way she looked at me. She had no idea I was taking the Armor Thyroid. It was poisoning me, I was on the verge of heart failure. I should have NEVER been prescribed that drug.  

The next 8 weeks were absolute hell, because I had to detox from it.  I would spend days in panic attacks. My mom had to come babysit me. In June of 2019 I spent a week in a mental hospital, because I wanted to die. When I got out of the hospital I started reading about PMDD and for the first time in my life I had a name for what I was dealing with. I diagnosed myself, but my therapist of several years confirmed it. Unfortunately there is not much help for this condition and while I had an answer I was still on my own. I started doing tons of shadow work and trauma healing. Luckily I had finally decided to see a Naturopath around the same time that I did the BioTe. He was the first person to EVER look at me and say, "you are very sick, but we are going to get you better." He was literally the first doctor that ever told me anything other that it was all in my head. Normally people, see him every 2-4 months, I was seeing him every 2 weeks. I honestly don't think I would have survived 2019 without him.

Ever since I was prescribed that drug my health issues have been so much worse than they ever were before, it really did a number on my body and my mind. All the work I've done with my lifestyle and healing myself mind, body, and soul saved my life, and has helped me cope with things much better, but I am still very sick. In February of this year I feel into another very deep and scary depression. So bad that my husband took the day off of work and showed up with my mom and my brother in law to basically intervention me. I was barely surviving and that's all I had been doing for months. I told them I wanted to see a Functional Medicine doctor, but I was afraid of the cost as there is no insurance that will cover them, but I knew it was time to get the help I needed.  

My first appointment with them was a dream come true. This man took me seriously, was seriously impressed with how much I knew and understood, and thought that I had many of the same things going on that I thought I did. I was spinning my wheels though. I had no way to know exactly what was going on or how to fix it. Lifestyle changes and shadow work only do go so far. I also went back to therapy, because I really need the help.  

As a teenager I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety disorder, and Substance Abuse Disorder. I diagnosed myself with PMDD (verified by my Therapist at the time) and he also gave me a soft diagnosis of Bi-Polar II. Last year I figured out that I have a MTHFR Gene mutation and had to fight my doctor to get me the test, but I was able to confirm that I am Homogenous for C677T. Which means my body doesn't detox properly among other things. My Naturopath has diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia, Adrenal Fatigue, Thyrotoxisis, and many other autoimmune and other issues. Way to many to list. LOL. My Functional Medicine doctor has found that I am SEVERLY estrogen dominant, which explains most of my health issues. And my Therapist has recently diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder. She said that she has never seen a score as high as mine, and it explains so much of my emotional instability.  

The emotional piece is what makes it so hard for me to keep a job. I did try to have a job in 2020, but I only made it about 8 months. I gave it my all, but I am just too sick too much of the time. Which makes all of this so much harder.  My husband works sun up to sun down in the construction field, but this winter was so hard we drained our savings account just paying bills and buying groceries. We worked really hard to get out of debt last year and we started 2023 with 0 consumer debt, just our mortgage and my student loans. We were able to put our tax return into savings, but we are burning through it with the cost of living and the cost of my treatments. It is $8,000 to work with my Functional medicine doctor plus $400-$600 for my supplements and meds each month. None of which fits into our budget. We have Medicaid which is a blessing, but only covers my Therapist and Physical Therapy. I also see a Chiropractor weekly.

After A LOT of praying I don't know what else to do, but reach out for help. I am not eligible for disability, because I don't have enough work history in the last decade and I don't have enough documentation since I gave up on Medical doctors. I have pretty severe medical trauma with PTSD, as you could imagine. Plus my therapist has advised me to not try to go back to work or my business yet, "because it is too much for me." I can't lie, it is painful to even type that. We really are in a hard spot, but I am finally getting the answers and the help I've been praying for my entire life. I know in my soul I can be healed. I believe wholeheartedly that I will be able to work again and have a "normal" life, I just have to get through this year. I promise your generosity and kindness will be paid forward, I am going to help sooooo many people when I am well. And I plan on praying over everyone who donates. Thank you for taking the time to read my story and thank you in advance if you choose to help support me and my family. Love and light to you all. Ash.