Ash's journey to top surgery

Hi, my name’s Ash.

I’m a trans Indigenous person (Gamilaraay mob) living with multiple disabilities and I’m raising money to get top surgery.

But this isn't just about wanting surgery. It’s about years of living with chronic pain, navigating my identity, finding a community where I finally felt comfortable, and taking steps towards becoming more comfortable in my own body.

I want to share a little bit of my story so you can understand why this surgery means so much to me, and why I’m asking for your help.

When I was as young as 8 years old, my chest started to grow. By the time I was 10, my back was already killing me. What 10-year-old has chronic back pain? Me.

Now I’m 19, and my chest has grown beyond what I ever could have imagined. I’m currently a 14JJ. Did you even know that size existed? Each bra costs around $115, just for one bra. I’m very lucky to have an incredibly supportive family, and my Gran helps pay for my bras when they wear out after holding up around 3kg of weight every moment of the day.

The surgery is deemed as a medically necessary mastectomy.

Living with this has affected so much more than just what I wear. I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which means the extra weight on my chest puts even more strain on my body. I experience excessive pain in my shoulders, back, neck, ribs and more, and it affects my everyday life and mobility.

Alongside all of that, I always knew I wasn’t quite like everyone else.

In Year 4, I had my first crush on a girl. It ended badly, but eventually, when I started high school, I discovered my community. A colourful group of people of all shapes, sizes and labels: the queer/LGBTQIA+ community.

After exploring different labels, I found myself calling myself non-binary. For the first time, I finally felt comfortable with who I was. Well… on the inside. The outside still didn’t quite match.

On my journey, I’ve been lucky enough to try out new pronouns, names, gender-affirming care and more. I started on hormone blockers, then changed to testosterone, which I’ve now been on for more than three years.

My next step is top surgery.

The surgery will cost approximately $15,000 in total, including my hospital stay, surgeon, anaesthetist and other costs. I’m currently living on a Disability Support Pension due to my medical conditions, so this is something I simply can’t reach on my own.

Top surgery would mean so much more than changing the way my chest looks. It would help ease my dysphoria, reduce the physical strain I’m living with, and give me a chance at feeling more comfortable and free in my everyday life.

I’m also incredibly lucky to have a beautiful, supportive and very queer family where everyone is celebrated. When my aunty came out, I made her a gender reveal cake with a trans flag and pink sprinkles pouring out. As of right now, 10 members of my family have come out too.

I’m proud to be the first domino, opening the door for everyone else.

Now I’m asking my community to help me take this next step for myself.

If you can donate even a few dollars, it would mean the absolute world to me. Every single dollar gets me closer to being able to have top surgery, and closer to living in a body that feels more like mine.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and for considering supporting me.

Lots of love,

Ash