Help Anya Fight Cancer and Fulfill Her Dream of Parenthood

In 6th grade, my best friend Anya and I became inseparable at a slumber party after discovering our mutual admiration for fraternal twin boys in our class at our elementary school in Chicago, and we spent part of our year conspiring to make them our boyfriends. Utlimately, our plans didn't come to fruition, but we did gain something special: a friendship to last a lifetime. Anya's been my best friend through all stages of my life since I was 10 years old, and knows me better than I know myself sometimes. In this latest stage of life during our young adult years, Anya has often expressed to me one of her closest held dreams — to have a family. She and her partner Parker were about to start their own when Anya found out she has breast cancer and will be unable to carry children due to the medications she needs to take to treat her cancer. Surrogates, however, are cost-prohbitive, so to help Anya and Parker with their one wish, we are creating a Go Fund Me to help raise the necessary funds. The next several years are going to be very challenging for Anya and Parker. Any assitance from family, friends, and beyond would help ease the burden and mean so much to them. Below, Anya has written her story. Please read it, donate what you can, and share with your networks.

Lastly, if you or anyone you know would be available to serve as an independently paid surrogate, please reach out to us -- that would significantly reduce costs and allow Anya and Parker to fulfill their dream. Thank you so much for your love and support during this time.

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On October 11, 2024, I turned 33 and had planned on enjoying a lovely fall day with my mom in Chicago after a brief work interlude. I had just finished my court hearing at the Daley Center when I asked my mom if she could feel a lump in my breast that had grown and had become painful (I literally asked her to feel me up on Michigan Avenue). After finally agreeing to feel it in public, her face fell, and she demanded that we see a doctor. Fast forward two weeks, and I get word that I have been diagnosed with Stage III Breast Cancer. WTF. Because I’m living in Milwaukee now, I transferred my oncology care to Froedtert Hospital nearby. There, surprisingly, my new oncologist downgraded me to Stage II! I was overjoyed that this stage would involve one hard year of chemotherapy, surgery and radiation, but I would be cured! Cancer would be behind me, and I could carry on as if nothing had happened.

My oncologist was still concerned about my liver, so she ordered a PET scan (I had had tests done at Northwestern that suggested I look closer at the liver). That’s when the rug that I thought was firmly in place was pulled violently from beneath me. The PET scan showed metastatic lesions in the bones of my lower back, pelvis and hip. This meant I was now (and had been) at Stage IV. As in it’s incurable. What the actual F!!! Typing these words, it stills feels surreal, like I’m hearing about someone else’s life and diagnosis. This does not happen to 33 year olds! Right?! I’d been planning on starting a family soon and embarking on the next stage of my life! Ridiculously unfair!!! Which brings us to the reason for this GoFundMe…

I now have to get monthly infusions, go into forced menopause, and take cancer cell killing drugs for the remainder of my life. This will change my and Parker’s future forever, but we’re hoping it doesn’t have to prevent our biggest dream: starting a family together. We’ve spent time feeling sorry for ourselves, but now it’s time to live life again. I’m receiving the best treatments from my oncologist and I have the best partner by my side. ♥️

Parker and I really want to be parents, but because of the medications I need to take for the rest of my life, I cannot carry my own child. We were lucky enough to have time to go through one round of IVF and we were able to freeze 5 embryos! Parker and I reached out to our amazing and loving community, and it was suggested to us that we start a GoFundMe to help with surrogacy costs, given the magnitude of the ask for anyone to be a surrogate themselves. So many friends and family members wanted to help, but don’t have the resources or ability to be a surrogate.

Surrogacy through an agency costs anywhere from $130,000 - $170,000. While we can afford to pay for some of the agency fees, we unfortunately do not have the means to pay for all of it, given the costs for my cancer treatments as well. If you are willing and able to help us with the costs necessary to start the family we’ve always wanted, we will be forever grateful. Any little bit will help us through this long process and would mean the world to us and bring so much joy into our lives during a particularly tough time.

*If you or anyone you know would be available to serve as an independently paid surrogate, please reach out to us.

We sincerely appreciate any support you’re willing to provide.

With love,

Anya and Parker