Help Annabelle with her medical bills️‍⚧️

Who am I?

My name is Annabelle. I am a trans woman and I have been out as female for over a decade. The life of a trans person is never an easy one, it's a difficult choice to make, often leading to alienation from one's friends and family. Growing up in Kentucky with a relatively conservative family, I struggled a lot after I came out, but I always saw myself as a diligent worker who wouldn't give up for anything in the world - even if I had to do it all on my own. When I came out as transgender, I knew one of my goals was to make it through college with a good education, to get a good job with good benefits, and ultimately to be in a position where I could afford my gender confirmation surgery. While pursuing my dreams, I also raised a young son as a single mother - he was, and has always been, and always will be, the very light of my universe.

For me, my gender surgery always represented finally being able to feel comfortable in my own body. A normal and healthy sex life for a young woman was something I would've loved, but it was never THE draw - for me, getting my surgery was about safety as much as anything else. With things like bathroom bills on my mind a lot of the time, I felt that being able to have my surgery would protect me while also helping me become the woman I was born to be. It was a long road and a difficult process, with a lot of missteps along the way. I worked hard in my undergrad program and managed to go to grad school, and graduated with a Master's degree in Asian studies - easily one of the proudest accomplishments of my life. Once I hit the workforce, I worked my way into a position where I could afford good health care, and eventually, landed my dream job - as a translator. In December 2021 I finally was able to pursue a vaginoplasty, the surgery that was supposed to change my life and finally help me achieve my life-long dream of feeling comfortable in my body.

The surgery and aftermath

Unfortunately, my surgery didn't go as planned. In the weeks following my surgery, I developed a rectal-vaginal fistula, a small tract that allows matter to pass between the rectal passage and my newly created vaginal canal. My original surgeon attempted a repair of that fistula, and that surgery resulted in failure. He attempted a second repair, and that surgery also resulted in failure. During this second attempt, under my surgeon's advice, my vaginal canal was sealed. He assured me that my vaginal canal could be reopened at any time, and I, believing that my surgeon knew better than I did, agreed that that was the best course of action.

When the second attempt to close my fistula (and close my vaginal canal) had failed, my surgeon recommended that I have a colostomy done - in the hopes that my fistula would naturally heal on its own without any solid matter moving through the fistula tract. Unfortunately, my surgeon didn't perform that kind of surgery, so he sent me home to Kentucky. He told me to go right into the emergency room when I got back to Kentucky, to tell them what had happened, that I had a fistula and needed a colostomy. I did that. While I was in the hospital I needed a blood transfusion due to the blood I was losing through my fistula, and I put my life in the hands of my doctors. My doctors, however, refused to perform the surgery I needed to save my life. I was visited while in the hospital by a team of plastic surgeons, a team of gynecologists, a team of colorectal doctors, and a general surgeon. All of them gave me the same story: "We don't understand the anatomy of a trans person, and so we can't help with your fistula or with your colostomy."

Finally, a triage doctor agreed to perform a colostomy on me, and I very much got the impression he did so just to shoo me out of the hospital. Therefore, in January of 2022, I had my fourth surgery in less than a month, this time the colostomy which I needed - a colostomy that was supposed to be temporary, and yet 13 months later I still have it.

From December 2021 to January 2022 I required 4 surgeries, I needed to receive 4 units of blood, and I spent more nights in a hospital than nights outside of one. All throughout, I tried to keep an open mind. I tried to stay positive. I went back to work, despite being in terrible pain and also trying to adjust to life with a colostomy. Weeks went by with no improvement. Eventually, I had tests that showed that my fistula wasn't healing. The nearest surgeon I found who was willing to help with my case was in Michigan, a 6-hour drive from my home. I will never forget the day I met that surgeon. As I explained to him what I had been through already to try to manage my pain, close my fistula, and get back to a normal life, I tried to remain hopeful. I told this new surgeon that as hard as it was, I still had hope. I told him that my original surgeon had told me that reopening my vaginal canal would be easy to do once we got the fistula under control. And I will always remember the look he got on his face, slightly shaking his head from side to side as he told me that no - my vaginal canal was fully and completely stenosed, completely closed, and probably always would be. He didn't think there was any safe way to reopen my vaginal canal - probably not ever. As I said above, having a functioning sex life was never the end goal of my journey, but still... it hurt to hear that that dream of being a "normal" girl was over for me.

During 2022 I made 12 trips from my home to the office of my surgeon in Michigan. I had another surgery to attempt to close my fistula in December of 2022. I have just learned that that surgery was another failure and we are going to have to try again.

Throughout all these surgeries and all the pain I have endured, I have continued to work. After my surgery in December of 2022, I was back to work after just 5 days. I have worked hard all my life. I have tried to be good and kind and generous with what little I had in life. But now I'm really starting to struggle. The many trips I have had to take to Michigan to see my surgeon, my check-ups, my medications, blood work, ostomy supplies, time from missed work, hotel and travel costs... all these things have dramatically affected my life. I worry every day that I won't be able to keep my job, that I won't be able to sustain myself, and that I will eventually get crushed under the weight of my mounting medical bills.

How you can help

If you're able to donate to help with my medical bills, it would mean so much to me. Right now I have close to $10,000 in outstanding hospital bills that were NOT covered by my insurance. This is my most pressing concern, coupled with the fact that I know I will have additional procedures in the coming months that will likely continue to add to my debts.

If you're not able to donate to help me, I understand. There are so many people out there who are struggling and if I could I would help them all, but I don't have the means. So instead, as a favor to me, would you please tell someone my story? Even if I cannot meet my financial goals, I want people to know that I'm still fighting, still trying, still working, and that I'm not going to let anything stand in my way as I continue to do everything in my power to get back to a normal life again. I want my colostomy gone. I want to feel whole in my body. I want a life where I don't have to worry about my fistula anymore. And if I could, I would live a life where I can be an inspiration to other young transgirls and transguys out there who are struggling the way I did, and the way I am. I want to overcome this so I can prove that we're stronger than the world knows.

If possible I want to relocate my little family to Michigan. That's a very expensive proposition, but the reality is that I cannot get the kind of care I need here in Kentucky. I have never been ashamed to be from Kentucky, but this last year has taught me that this isn't a place that's healthy and welcoming for trans people. It's sad to say, but I think it's time that I move to a place where I can get the kinds of care, support, and community that I have been lacking for all my life.

A timeline of events

The following is a timeline of events regarding Annabelle's surgical complications