My wife Ann has been bravely battling an aggressive form of ovarian cancer since her diagnosis in the Fall of 2015.  

I will never forget that night. We had gone to bed and then at about 10:30PM Ann woke me up, said she was in intense pain and I took her to the ER. They did take her back quickly, gave her something for the pain. Around 4AM, after a couple of CAT scans and an MRI, a doctor came out and rather rudely told us that she had ovarian cancer in an advanced state. That was the stuff that nightmares are made of.

On October 1, 2015, in the middle of my being between jobs and seeking gainful employment, my wife Ann was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. There had been no signs of this. Her primary care physician had been watching her gall bladder and her yearly check ups had shown no signs of cancer. Yet, there it was. The surgery took place three weeks later. The surgeon told me she had reached Stage 3C. Had this not been diagnosed, she would have been dead by the end of the year. As it was, I was told that she only had a 44% chance of being cancer free for the five years that gets you considered to be in remission. Also, there are two major types of ovarian cancer, and she had contracted the aggressive form.

Those of you who have dealt with this will have some idea of what happened next. The chemotherapy treatments, the erratic sleep, the lack of energy, all of that. Even worse than the hair loss issue was the phenomenon called chemo brain. Ann used to be a competitive Literati player. She can’t do that anymore. She forgets words which frustrate her to no end. Simple words she forgets, she remembers more complex ones. Most frustrating to her was the day she forgot the word ‘dog’ for a few hours. More recently she struggled to remember the word 'polo.' In fact at one point she briefly forgot how to spell her own name. Will it ever get better? The doctors say they don't know. I think the truth is they know that she will not recover from chemo brain at all. In fact it keeps getting worse over time.

Ann tried to continue working but it became more difficult for her to do so. Her manager and supervisor were very kind and let her take a lot of time off, but in the end the lack of energy became too much, and she applied for Social Security disability. Fortunately, she was approved. At the end of 2016, she lost her job and her insurance coverage. I was able to put her under my company’s policy. Had to, since she was not eligible for Medicare until April of 2018. To attempt to cover medical bills, we had to use the 401K money. It is all gone now. That means trying to figure out retirement on Social Security alone. Wish us luck on that.

Sadly, the cancer did not stay away. In July of 2018 they found a node on her bladder. She underwent surgery in August that lasted over six hours. It was the same cancer and it was in several places in her abdomen. They even had to take six inches off her intestine. This time, the surgeon told me her cancer now had a 66% chance of returning within three years and to expect surgeries ongoing regularly. She started a new round of chemotherapy. At the third session, she had what the oncologist called a Stage 4 reaction. Her throat closed and she briefly could not breathe. A Stage 5 reaction is death.

So, why am I here asking for $85,000 in assistance? We had insurance, right? Fortunately, yes, we did. Now we also have Medicare for my wife, which is helping going forward. However, insurance does not pay for everything. There are the deductibles and the co-pays, the medication costs, some of which go on no matter how much out of pocket one spends. I doubt this is news to any of you who have faced a major illness. Any of you who have had major medical expenses know what I am saying. That deductible starts up again every year. 

 We are receiving bills for services rendered that insurance did not cover. I do not know how much they are as I have made minimal payments as that was all we could afford. We no longer have my wife’s income. She is considered 100% disabled and she literally cannot work. Who is going to hire someone who could only work for 3 or 4 hours and then have to sleep? Ann sleeps an average of 12 hours a day now. It is hard, being a caregiver and having to work full-time. I want to make sure Ann gets the best care possible. Getting this medical debt settled would give my family some peace.

It would also be helpful in the event I needed surgery in the future. I am not a young man. I have health issues of my own. I am a diabetic and my family has a history of heart issues. Being a caregiver wears me down.

In fact, in 2020 I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. I now have ten stents in my heart and an implanted defibrillator.

Bankruptcy was certainly an option. At our age, though, it is difficult to wait out seven years and start over. If it was only me, I would likely go that route. Medical debt is one of the major reasons people in the United States file bankruptcy. I know, if you live in another country, this simply does not happen.

Lucy, our developmentally disabled daughter, would be hurt the most by financial insolvency. She is 35 but developmentally she is 6. She can never hold a job. Medicare covers her medical bills but not her dental bills. Because of her disability she has to be sedated, even for a simple teeth cleaning. That is expensive and without a credit card we likely would not be able to do it.

$85,000 will settle the existing debts. This will let me take care of Ann and Lucy properly instead of worrying about this mountain of debt. I just want to take care of my family. That is all I want.

 I don’t like asking for help. Sometimes I feel like I am panhandling on the Internet, no joke! I was the one that people would come to for help for years and I was glad to be able to do it. Now I cannot. No contribution to this effort is too small. My family will be grateful. Should people’s generosity put me over my goal, I will donate to ovarian cancer research.

As I said, I never thought anything like this would happen to my wife. I seem to keep finding articles about women contracting and often dying from ovarian cancer. Some famous, many not. So many beautiful lives cut short by a killer that doesn't care. 

Be assured that all funds raised by this effort will be used to pay off the medical debt.

Please help me help my family. I will pay it forward when I can. I know the day will come.

This is such a nightmare. Ann is the love of my life, my world. I don't want to lose her to this...