I've always had a hard time asking for help. I've been diagnosed autistic since I was in the 6th grade, and with that comes a unique amount of struggle. Being considered "high functioning" puts you in a spot where either your difficulties are downplayed, or your strengths aren't taken seriously.

My employment history has been sporadic at best and discouraging at worst, and a couple of years ago I applied for SSI to help me get on my feet so I could work on some of the factors preventing me from working: working on my mental health and ADHD symptoms, getting answers about my physical health (mostly stomach issues and joint pain), and figuring out the accommodations that would best suit me at work. I'm also working towards self-employment, as I am passionate about the arts, writing and the environment.

A few months ago, I found an internship at a veterinary office that I really liked. I learned how to clean surgical tools, and that I enjoy doing laundry. But it being an internship, it ended, and I still haven't been able to find more work. My job coach filed for me to start a second internship at the same place to keep building job skills, but it was cancelled after all the paperwork was filed. It was determined that the skills I was looking to build weren't enough of a change from the work I was doing, and so I am unemployed again, just in time for Christmas.

When I first lost my benefits, a good friend of mine set up a GoFundMe on my behalf because I was too ashamed, but this time I figured it was time for me to do it myself. Asking for help is an act of faith, and last time I was surprised and grateful to see how many people were willing to show up for me. I'm praying that this time will be just as enlightening.