My name is Amy and this is my sweet, sweet boy Apollo. Yesterday, he left this physical world far too suddenly and traumatically, and shattered my heart and world at the same time. My boy does have a history of seizures and other issues, but he was on prescriptions. It was a tumultuous turn of events - what was a normal day returning home from work quickly became my world crashing down. The way he left was extremely traumatizing - his little body was suddenly wracked with cluster seizures and he was immediately rushed to the emergency emergency vet. However, the entire care ride, he just kept having seizures. By the time he got there, he started to crash and his little heart started to give out. The immediately took him in and started CPR, and they attempted all other life saving measures and administered what looked like a laundry list of medications/injections. They performed CPR for over 15 minutes but couldn't get his pulse back. They were nice enough to allow me to stay there as long as I needed, which I video called my friend that had his brother who is incidentally also his best friend so that he could see him for the last time. My other furbaby (his aunt) was being brought from home to also be able to smell him to understand why she has become a single child again after 9 years... I was crying my heart out in so much pain the entire time, desperately grasping to what little warmth his body had left, trying keep his little body warm by hugging and holding him the whole time and keep him from turning cold before my Luna got there. My eyes kept playing tricks on me as I keeping thinking I saw movement.. a breath, anything... but rigor mortis had already started to set in and I knew it was just my desperation and wild delusions grasping at what it will never was but vivid delusions.

He didn't deserve that traumatic exit. He deserved all the noms he wasnt allowed to have and do all the things he love and leave quietly when he was ready... not suffering the way he did until his little heart stopped.

It was so hard to make all these end of life preparations right then and there and just paper and paper to sign/initial. In total, everything was over 3K from medical to prolonged attempts of CPR and cremation preparations.

I'm still in a state of numbness, with many intermittent moments of crying hard missing him as life's cruelty ripped him from my arms. I am desperately trying to remember him fondly because i know he wouldn't want me to be so upset, but I'm still in shock and processing the grief. Taking time off work to just navigate through my loss.

Thank you if you took the time to read any of what I wrote. I love him so much and I am missing him terribly. He was absolutely the best boy and he didn't have an aggressive bone in his body. He only wanted to spend his time playing with any/all dogs at the park despite his mobility limitations. He was the best boy that lived with no regrets and definitely had that golden retriever energy... now, I just wait for him to come home in a few weeks.

Thank you again for your time to just read about my boy, and if it's within your means, to help us out possibly. If not, that's ok.

Thank you for your time. And, if you had a baby that cross before, I hope Apollo finds them across that rainbow bridge and plays with them.