Some of you who are closest to me know my darkest secrets, but others have no idea that I struggle deeply and frequently with mental illness.
For those of you who don't know me, my name is Allison. I am married with a 2-year-old son. I have depression and anxiety, which manifests itself in self-harm and suicidal ideation.
WHY I'M FUNDRAISING:
In mid-May I was placed on a 5150 (psychiatric hold) after becoming overwhelmed and cutting myself. It was the second time in the past year.
I have struggled with depression most of my life but after having my son began feeling serious effects of post partum.
It was never treated, and coupled with my anxiety I am hardly my old self-the Allison that makes everyone laugh, the confident, witty, friendly, loving person my husband married and the mom I want my son to know.
I need help to get better so I can be the best version of myself.
I am trying to raise the $5K amount by June 30 for medical bills, including hospitalization, copays for groups and loss of wages for ongoing expenses and aftercare related to my mental health.
I am currently participating in an outpatient program that meets three days a week. After that and in between I have therapy sessions lined up, along with other groups I attend to learn about new resources and coping mechanisms.
But all of this costs money.
I decided to share my story publicly on GoFundMe because I have seen the community time and again come together for people in need of financial assistance for various expenses. The support has inspired and encouraged me.
As a journalist, I write for and am accountable to the community in providing basic news. But I also get to tell amazing stories of people and individuals overcoming adversity in the hope to inspire others with the personal circumstances of their lives.
As a writer, it’s easy for me to hide behind the story in the sense that I have control of the conversation. I get to ask the questions.
Now it's my turn to share and be transparent.
I decided to start this journey of a healthier me for my family, but more specifically my son and the legacy he will leave his family, should he choose to have one.
I want him to know that the choices we make dictate the lives we live.
I also want to be a better wife to my husband. I am choosing to take time off to help myself heal, grow and learn to love myself again so I can love others the way they deserve to be loved.
I see sharing my story as an opportunity to stop being ashamed of my diagnosis of "major depressive disorder" and "generalized anxiety' and just do what I can to get better and live my best life.
Putting myself out there and asking for help, especially for something like mental health, which has such a horrible stigma associated with it, makes it even harder.
But part of the responsibility of having this illness is taking responsibility and saying ENOUGH of the stigma, by sharing my story.
HOW YOU CAN HELP:
For those who can afford to give, anything helps and is appreciated more than you know.
For those unable to financially give, I hope you can send prayers and good thoughts my way for a productive journey and of course, share my page with others.
Thank you for clicking on my campaign and taking the time to read my story.
For anyone reading this and going through something similar, know you are not alone. There are a lot of resources out there. We can survive this illness.