Hello everyone! My name is Alani and this is my weight loss story! It’s something that I’ve kept to myself for most of my journey. So, even if you aren't able to donate, thank you for taking the time to learn a little more about me.

For as long as i can remember, my weight has been a constant battle in my life. I remember knowing that I was not a "normal" weight, but I didn't have the information or abilitly to make the nessessary changes needed to get me to a healthy weight. I first hit 200lbs in the 6th grade. The older I got, the bigger I got. Not only in weight, but in height. Before I knew it, I was a 300lbs 5'10'' senior in high school. I towered over all of my peers and felt so uncomforable with how much space I took up in comparison. It created such a feeling of shame in myself that is hard to describe. I had no confidence. I wanted to make myself as small as I possibly could in the world. I hid away from everyone, canceled plans, and denied myself of a lot of wonderful opportunities because I didnt think I deserved to exsist. I hated myself. My internal torment was amplifed my the perceptions of others. We all know it. Obese people are treated as lesser. The stares, the wide berth, the walking ahead of me, being left out of plans, or only ever being the "back-up" friend. There is also the obvious physical limitations as well. The fear of not fitting in a school desk, wondering if this chair will support my weight, feeling so much pain in my feet and knees, not being able to participate in sports due to being constantly out of breath. It isn't a life I would wish for anyone, and especially not for a kid.

Just before my 25th birthday, I reached my highest weight of 350lbs. My health was deteriorating and my self-esteem was non-existent. I wasn't truly living. Just existing and hoping for death to come sooner rather than later. My depression had hit a new low and I was either going to eat myself to death or actually stand up and fight for a life I could only dream of. I didnt want to have another birthday where I wished for a skinnier body. So, I looked at myself, and just decided to try. It started small. I began with counting calories using MyFitnessPal. I didnt change what I was eating at first, just the size of the portion I was eating. I wanted to make small changes to not discourge myself, just minor changes that I could incorporate into my routine until I felt like I was ready for more of a challenge.

Over the next year and a half, I lost over 150lbs. Even though I wasn’t at my goal weight yet, I was so excited at what I had the courage and power to do and it kept me pushing forward by counting macros and working out. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was even being seen. I started running—eventually running 5ks and living a life I never thought possible.

Now, I’ve come as close to my goal weight as I can, but I’m left with an extensive amount of loose skin around my entire body. I am so proud of what I've been able to accomplish, but seeing the loose skin and having to accomodate for it has been really tough. It's like, I have done all the work myself, yet I almost can't appreciate it. This body still doesnt feel like its mine. The only way to move forward is to have surgery to remove it. This GoFundMe will help me with the first of many surgeries—an Abdominoplasty to remove the skin on my stomach. This surgery will allow me to wear clothes more comfortably, run without my skin moving painfully, and relieve the weight and pressure that sits on my stomach every day. Most importantly, it will give me the confidence to finally see and celebrate the progress I’ve made and enjoy the life I have worked so hard to make be my reality.

It’s hard to move forward when the past is hanging off of you every day. Your support would mean the world to me as I take this final step in my transformation. Any help you can give will bring me closer to reclaiming my body and living life to the fullest.