Hello!

I'm Mason "Mei" Aktas, though some people know me as Mei Cottonsoul (I'm the person under the fursuit! It was a cheap one put together before a convention, something I had saved up for over the course of months).

I'm 19, I'm a Turkish immigrant in London, a transmasculine person, a university student (studying creative writing and games design!), and a mentally ill/disabled individual. I've been with my partner for almost a year now. They've only just escaped an abusive household, with a violent and criminal father, a sexually abusive step-father, and a mentally unstable mother.

They ran away from home in December of 2024, reported their family to the police, and have been staying with me since then. The justice system has failed us; her father is a free man, despite our plentiful evidence to support his aggressive and violent behaviour (+ theft and tax fraud). They haven't been provided housing by any council, and are now working as a part-time barista. I'm so proud of them, and their matcha-making skills :)

I accepted them with open arms, of course. I love them more than a growing sapling loves fresh sunlight, I'd starve if only it meant they'd get to eat. I try my best not to show it, but we just can't support ourselves steadily. My parents haven't got the money, the dorm we're in is just too tiny for the both of us, and we're both in need of help. They suffer from PCOS and desperately need an OBGYN appointment, as the NHS just keeps ignoring them or giving them birth control (which only makes it worse). My heartrate issues are becoming more concerning, and we suspect I may have POTS, but I can't exactly afford to get checked. My job is as relief staff, and I'm just waiting for shifts. Money's been difficult to find, and more difficult to keep.

£80-90 covers about a week or two of our groceries. I need HRT, and I use a private clinic, which charges around £60 per bottle and £30 a month for a subscription. I also need hormone tests every few months, which can go up to £100. I haven't had any hormone checks since my partner moved in with me, my GP refuses to do them and I just don't have the money. We're trying to move into this new place with a few friends, but one roommate bailed out on us, so now we must split the house threeways instead of four. The move-in fee went up from £1,055 to £1,407. The monthly rent will be £756, with around £116 added for bills, and my partner makes just around £800-1,200 a month. At our worst, we're solely dependent on my finicky shifts and my parents' mercy. At our best, we can get groceries and then scrape the fridge for the last two weeks of the month.

I'm searching desperately for a better job, or just another job. Anything.

Recently, my anxiety medication dosage was also increased. I have to pay around £18 each month just to not have heart palpitations every time I leave the house. I've had to call an ambulance twice in the last 3 months because of ongoing heart palpitations. I can't relax anymore, there's barely even any room on my bed for me to sleep next to my partner. Maybe it seems morose, but I'm at my wit's end. I feel insufficient as a person, as a partner, as a student, as a son, being unable to handle all of this. I feel insufficient just being here asking strangers and friends for help. I don't think I have anywhere else left to turn to. I have to pull through one way or another, and anything helps.

I appreciate your time, thank you for reading. I hope I've made it clear why I'm here.

Much love,

Mei