This fundraiser is to help me continue life saving mental health treatment. I am a U.S. Marine verteran currently in active treatment for PTSD, severe anxiety and depression

Without continued care, I risk losing access to treatment that is helping keep me alive and stable

Hey, my name is Stefan. I am a U.S. Marine veteran, and honestly asking for help like this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

I’ve spent most of my life surviving on my own and pushing through pain without asking anyone for anything. Right now, I’m finally choosing to live. And that means admitting I can’t do this alone.

I am getting help for serious mental and physical health issues. I work full time and I do have insurance, but the medical bills are more than I can handle. Even a few dollars really does help.

Before the military

My struggles didn’t start in the Marines.

I grew up in poverty in an unstable and abusive household. My parents were separated my entire life. My mother struggled with gambling addiction and was emotionally abusive, and sometimes physically abusive too. My father was physically abusive, and during summers spent with him I was also sexually abused by people close to him.

Life was hard from the very beginning. There was always fear, uncertainty, and not knowing what would happen next. Even so, there were still a few things that made life feel worth holding onto. My sister was one of them.

When I was 15 years old, she was shot and killed by her abusive husband while trying to leave him. That loss changed everything. I struggled badly after that and barely made it through high school, but I did graduate.

Her death is what made me join the Marines. I wanted to protect the people I loved in a way I never could growing up.

Military service

I served proudly in the United States Marine Corps, including deployment to Afghanistan. I experienced combat and trauma, and I was injured in an explosion. That injury led to more than 10 back surgeries. I live with chronic pain every day.

I also suffer from PTSD and I am currently working through it with a psychologist.

I don’t blame the Marines or the military. I think I joined already broken, without the mental tools to handle the things I would see and experience.

During my service, I sent most of my money to my mother to help support her. I was promised a place to live when I got back. That promise didn’t happen. When I retired from the military, I became homeless.

Homelessness and abuse

I lived on the streets for six months. Eventually I found a job and slowly rebuilt my life from nothing. I’m proud that I survived that time without turning to drugs or addiction, even though I was numb and exhausted most of the time.

After getting back on my feet, I entered what became a ten year abusive relationship. Abuse by women isn’t talked about much, but it was very real for me. She controlled my finances, isolated me, and emotionally abused me constantly. Sometimes it became physical too.

Leaving and medical collapse

The night I finally left was because my manager noticed what was going on and reached out. That same evening, my ex pushed me down the stairs. I called my manager and he came and picked me up. I left with just the clothes I had on.

That night I drank whiskey to cope. I didn’t know I had untreated diabetes at the time. I ended up in a coma for a week.

When I woke up, I had nowhere to live and nowhere to go.

Caregiving and hitting bottom

Even though our relationship was difficult, I reached out to my mother. She told me I could move in with her in Colorado. Only after I got there did I find out she was seriously sick and dying.

For the past three years, I have been her main caregiver. It has been physically and emotionally draining, especially with our past and the emotional abuse that has always been there. My mental health continued to get worse during this time.

I also developed Hidradenitis Suppurativa, which is a painful chronic condition. I haven’t been able to treat it properly because the medication is very expensive.

For a long time, my plan was just to take care of my mother until she passed away, and then end my own life. I truly didn’t believe I had anything left to live for.

Why I’m asking for help

Something changed.

Despite everything that has happened in my life, I decided that I want to live.

I am currently safe and actively in treatment, and this fundraiser is part of my plan to keep moving forward.

The money raised will be used for my ongoing mental health treatment and therapy. I am doing ketamine treatment, magnetic helmet therapy, and a lot of talking therapy. These treatments are helping me in ways nothing else ever has, but they are expensive and not fully covered by insurance.

Any extra money I may raise will go toward paying off medical debt.

Without continued treatment, I risk losing access to care that is helping keep me alive and stable.

I want to live.

I work full time as an alarm dispatcher. I am doing everything I can, but I still don’t make enough to keep up with the medical costs.

I have tried to take my own life multiple times in the past and survived. This time, I’m choosing the opposite. I’m choosing help. I’m choosing life.

If you are able to donate, share, or even just leave a message of support, please know it truly matters. Every contribution helps me continue treatment and keep choosing life.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for any support you can offer.

I plan to share updates here as I continue treatment and work toward stability.