HELP A HOT GIRL WITH TUMORS REAUTHOR HER SUFFERING

Hi!

It's me again. I’m the Hot Girl With Tumors who took MDMA at a Children’s Tumor Convention and then went to Sasha and Ann’s home. I’m here asking for some help on behalf of the Society of Hot Girls With Tumors.

Sasha and Ann were always humble people. If you’ve ever made the pilgrimage to their home, I’d wager that you felt their love and compassion emanating from the wallpaper in their dining room. Or you’re a monster who didn’t so much as giggle when you saw the yellowed tab that reads CRAP WRITTEN BY ILLITERATES in the filing cabinet of Sasha’s office, but you still aim to grab your slice of the Psychedelic Pie because it’s all the fucking rage right now and if you act quickly you can make some cool, hard cash while feeling really good about healing the masses from your privileged pulpit with ANCIENT WISDOM.

Give me a break.

The tumor growing in my spinal canal’s Make-a-Wish is to take powerful empathogens and be removed so I can place it on Paul Hermann Müller’s grave at Friedhof am Hörnli. Kinda like what David Sedaris did in his book Calypso when he fed his tumor to a snapping turtle. I had him draw my tumor in a copy of that book at one of his signings, by the way. Müller is responsible for making DDT,the pesticide that is responsible for my having Neurofibromatosis.

If you can help me make this happen I might even recreate the "Who is My Daddy!" scene from the 1990 Schwarzenegger classic Kindergarten Cop and record myself saying "it's not a toomah" while smearing my fibroma across the nameplate of Müller.

Dr David Brown is riding the heels of AI in drug development research for Neurofibromatosis at Healx labs. He said it was a chance encounter that led to the discovery of Viagra, but really it was a female project coordinator interviewing Welsh miners for a heart angina medication— he at once said “she was a young, attractive blonde and was blushing as she told me.”

Never mentioned her by name, but she was technically the whole reason why he made 52 billion off of what would have been a heart angina medication. Now he’s erased her from history, calling her a chance encounter, using AI to find drugs for the tumors growing in my spinal canal and paraspinal nerves. Honestly, it’s giving the same energy as this meme I once saw that goes something like “I got an adderall prescription so I can talk over women louder and faster.”

I’ve also read the Glassdoor reviews of Healx labs and it does not look very promising. I know their qualitative interviews and “patient engagement” stuff goes nowhere. I’m a researcher. I know these things.

I think if I made the pilgrimage there just like I did to Ann and Sasha’s home I could get a pretty good read of them and the molecules they’re making that shape my health and livelihood.

I could use some help so I can take the time to write my book, go to Basel and Cambridge and sit these folks down and make them hear my story. All federal funding was cut into Neurofibromatosis research,the guy who was supposed to find a cure with gene therapy (William French Anderson) ended up touching kids inappropriately, and I was unable to secure Patient Centered Outcomes Research (PCORI) funding for research that would have involved getting people like me with Neurofibromatosis together and discussing ways we could improve our quality of life. I'm at my wits end.

Not to mention, the head of the Board at the Children's Tumor Foundation, once nonprofit turned into Venture Capital firm, was mayor of Bal Harbor Florida-- and has concerning a concerning Far-Right Conspiracy theory podcast that you all ought to look into. We should be talking about this critically and what it could mean for personalities like this to stake a whopping financial interest in Neurofibromatosis research and drug development.

By the way, the current drug that Healx/Springworks has on the market for Neurofibromatosis (Gomekli) is causing people in my support group to break out in severe rashes. It can also affect fetal development in pregnant women.

If we understand the old Occult maxim "As Above So Below," or, perhaps the more familiar-to-you Bronfenbrenner's Social Ecological Model of Individual Development, then there is very much some fuckery happening in the Above that must be addressed at Healx Labs and the Children's Tumor Foundation.

Would also very much like to make a tour of Whitechapel in London, so I can fully integrate my shadow with the Elephant Man.

--

Some additional reading material for you all, if you want to delve more into my narrative work:

I suggest reading some of my blog post Inappropriately Happy-- in which I talk a little bit about Sedaris and taking MDMA at a children's tumor convention and then going to the home of the man responsible for it (MDMA, not tumors, in case that wasn't clear. Müller is responsible for my tumors and I'm trying to plant my tumor on his gravesite)

Be My Tumor Baby -- a little bit about growing pains and tumors. I submitted this to the UCLA Beat publication and was told that I made it in & was even invited to the award ceremony, but the day before the award ceremony I was told that it was in fact a grave error and it was not chosen by the editorial team. Wonder what happened? I got a nice outfit for the occasion!

Ultraviolet -- I was told that I need to be evaluated for schizoaffective disorder for writing this by people who didn't actually read it and struggle with shapes and colors