”The abuser is demanding possession of the house, financial support and… child custody. No way, please help me fight back this time!”

Update: Final Divorce Hearing February 3, 2025

I was denied legal aid again. So disappointed. Please assist as I must have representation to protect us.

Update - Abuser continues contact:

November 30, 2024, despite blocking all contact from the abuser and after they stated they would not try to contact again... they contacted me again via WhatsApp. Horrified, I throw the phone and did not answer. My toddler went to the window,so I peaked out the window as well. I could see their car parked two houses down from us, facing our direction. How did my toddler know? I filed a police report, but was advised again no violent harm was committed. This seems like aggravated stalking, yet nothing came of this report. This is extremely disturbing to experience. Yet, I must stay strong and trust that God will fight for us. Praying we will acquire the funds to gain an experienced attorney as soon as possible. Again, it is $350 -$550 and hour, minimum of 10 hours for an attorney in my county. I've been before several judges pleading this case and have been denied. I've been denied legal aid. Please continue to pray for us, show support and share with others.

Update November 24, 2024:

The temporary protective order expired November 20th, and permanent protective order denied. To my surprise after only three days had passed, I received a text message on Saturday November 24, 2024 from the abuser stating they wanted to come for a visit. I immediately panicked and fled to a family members home with my son. I reached out to Domestic Violence hotline, for direction. She confirmed the Bond Warrant in place did not indicate any provisions for protection aside from "we could have non-violent contact." I did not respond or answer any communication from them. Frankly, I do not feel safe. What could this person want from us privately?

I immediately applied for a restraining order...denied. As no physical harm had been committed. After not responding back, then sent a final message that they would not attempt to contact again.

Domestic Violence:

After years of terrifying episodes of physical, verbal, racial and financial abuse at the hands of my abuser, it finally ended. On October 29, 2023, I had to make the 911 call. Blood on my face and on the walls, I couldn't take any more. Sadly, my 3 year old son witnessed the brutal events to his mother and arrest of the abuser.

Since the final arrest over a year ago, my son and I have been trying to recover. However, this time has been overshadowed by new abusive strategies of aggression involving litigations and court motions against the standing temporary protective orders. Through the various legal suits, the abuser has filed multiple unnecessary and intrusive disclosure requests designed to delay any possible resolution and exhaust any and all of my financial resources.

During this time, I have struggled to maintain emotional and physical strength as I still feel moments "we are not safe," even though the abuser is no longer present. I still hear their threats and destruction during their manic episodes. Everytime they seem to be triggered by undisclosed events they experienced. I never imagined being called racial slurs in my home, nor in the presence of my biracial son. It is difficult to snap out of that 3-4 year mode of "fight or flight."

Since the protective order in October 2023, I felt some veil of protection for my son and I. However, the procrastination of my two (2) attorneys caused my request for a Permanent Protective Order to go unfiled. I attempted to file the PPO myself without an attorney. Sadly, the result was not in our favor.

Before this violent relationship, my credit score, credit limit and savings were the blessed results of prayer, discipline and hard work. However during and after this relationship, I was urged to bridge the layoff gaps for the abuser with my credit card. My financial identity was destroyed. On top of the emotional, verbal, racial and physical abuse I experienced passive financial abuse. They would pay it, but would charge higher amounts until the balance was unmanageable. I have communicated with my creditors, however no possible resolution. I have depleted all funds and resources to hire an attorney on my own.

It is remarkable, that I acquired new employment just six months before that brutal event. I thought they would be happy that I could contribute. However, they immediately stated "oh, so now you don't respect me?" The violent episodes occurred more often and more explosive. One month before the arrest, I was punched in the face in the family room of church. No one seemed to notice the aggression or me yell out from the pain. They demanded I go outside with them but I refused, so they took my car and left. I got a ride from a church member. Once again seeking refuge for them to calm down.

If you wonder why women stay in abusive relationships, THIS is why. When you thoroughly are completely tapped out, you feel as though you have nowhere to turn.

My estranged abuser acquired an incredible lawyer, so it has been brutal to fight back in court.

I have never asked for help, as I believed you can always find a way. However, I have become seriously humbled. A recent court hearing proved you must have an attorney for justice to prevail. Please help me keep my son safe.

Financial Breakdown:

In the past year, I have spent my savings, my 401K and event exhausted all relief and work benefits on legal costs and survival.

This does no include, health related issues and more, associated with this situation.

Immediate Need: ASAP

Right now, the cost to retain a new lawyer is $4,500.00 to $8,000.00 per month or $450 to $800 and hour for legal advise or service. Currently anticipate another 6 - 8 months before all legal suits are finalized and behind us. Total legal suits left, two out of four. Must secure new attorney before December 2, 2024.

Any funds raised above this amount will be used to recover my damaged credit ($18,800) my son and I can move on without the weight of the abusive past.

Thank you to all that took a moment to hear our crisis situation.