Hi my name is Doc and I am a British Army Veteran diagnosed with Complex PTSD. Since leaving the Army I have had long periods of unemployment & been no fixed abode several times over the years

I made massive changes after I ended up living in a friend's shop for a year. I went to University and Graduated. I currently work full time, have a great home and I was financially stable for the 1st time in 23 Years. Now that is at risk due to my love of Metal Music & passion to put on amazing shows.

I once tried my hand at putting on shows in 2012 and it was hard as I was new to the Game and I made a lot mistakes and I stopped after 3 Years.

That would have probably been it, I tried it, had ace times but ultimately failed. But then COVID happened and I came out of that with crippling social anxiety. I would go out and would have to go home sometimes within 30mins. So I decided I would start doing shows again, I have always wanted to have an established All Day Fest as well. It wasn't about making money it was about helping my Mental Health It was also about bringing bands I love to local area often for their debut Gig! Grind After Death was designed to just cover costs and I often ran close to the wire so was always a risk but that the nature of game.

I knew the risks and I took them, and I know a lot will say live with consequences. But that will put a lot of pressure on me. I started Grind After Death to help my Mental Health and now it is massively affecting my Wellbeing. I have a large credit card

debt I need to clear & I have used all my savings. It was clear earlier in year would be close as the costs have doubled for everything and tickets sales didn't really start till 3 weeks before Grind After Death 2026 - The Final Blasting. But bands needed advances and Hotels needed booking. I didn't want to be another promoter cancelling for poor sales, but maybe I should have? But I would not have been able to cover all refunds and the money owed to bands who booked flights etc. So, felt my only choice was to roll dice and see if I could break even. The event was a massive success. Bands and fans loved it but I was way short of breaking even. I now have £4,400 on a Credit Card to pay off. Which is going to cause me a lot of stress over next couple years to pay off. I already said before this Year's would be last as the Fest had got too big and was impacting my Mental Health so needed to stop. I was getting overwhelmed at events and mounting costs were getting scary & stressful. I could just walk away, lick my wounds and pay off eventually. But that will have a massive negative impact on me. So, I create this not for pity, sympathy or to pay for my poor business choices. But to help out a Veteran in debt for doing something they love. It has taken a lot for me to be public & open about my Mental Health but it only thing I can think to do!!

I thought about doing a fundraiser gig but I don't have mental capacity to organise or run it, I am in

debt and not sleeping, I worry it will impact my day job and I will end up losing stability I worked hard for so many years to achieve. I am only asking for part of the debt as people already supported me, bought my tickets & merch, cheers

But any help to ease this burden will be unreal

Love & Sausages Doc - Former GADF Operator