Help a Disabled Queer Latino Leave His Toxic Home

Hello, my name is Kipper/Forrest.

I am a disabled/AuDHD queer latino artist on twitter who goes by bugghugs.

In 2021 I was forced to move back to my toxic home. I had a severe lack of funds and planning when it came to living in NYC and going to SVA via zoom. Most of my funds went to expensive rent, bills, and food. My friends at the time were not able to continue housing with me because they were worried I wouldn't have enough funds, so they made a tough decision to have me go back to PA.

As of now, in 2023, life has gotten worse.

My grandfather died and my grandma got diagnosed with a lethal lung tissue disease. All of this has resulted in a toxic household with no mental stability. I have no room in the house, I share a small basement with no walls with my brother and my mother. Any privacy I have is in the laundry room which has my desk and my bed which has a privacy tent.

My mother is the root of my stress and trauma. She has physically and emotionally abused me both in the past and now. Because of my grandmother's recent diagnosis, she has subjected herself to alcoholism more and more. Thus causing more stress in my home in which I cannot work or decompress from an already overstimulating environment in which I get no privacy.

My mother's alcoholism has previously lead to her pinning me on the ground and getting in my face, comparing me to my abusive father, and even endangering me in a moving vehicle. Her constant abuse has lead me to seek harsh therapy in order to heal in which I have to constantly tell myself I am a good person who is worthy of accommodations and love.

I no longer feel safe and want to leave, once and for all.

As of November 5th 2023, my mother once again drank herself into a fit in which she harassed my younger brother and I late at night. All triggered by abusive father who still has a hold on her despite their divorce and miles apart. She yelled, threatened, and overall scared us. We were only safe when we secluded ourselves in our grandmother's room. Hours later, after she finally started to settle down and get ready for bed, I received a texted message vaguely threatening me with eviction.

After years of therapy, I had a panic attack, my first one in a very long time. I cried because I had no money to my name, even with my boyfriends help, I would have no where to go. I would likely be homeless. The next day, I called out of work because I was mentally depleted and genuinely could not function after such a threat. After slithering back into bed to try to get more sleep, I was awoken by my mom who hugged me, said "I'm sorry" and left for work.

Her threat meant nothing.

This has been my 21 years of life. Constant threats, physical violence, emotional abuse only to receive a single apology with no love only for it to continue later that day. This single text has finally broke me, I want to leave and finally go low contact with my mother.

My current plan is to move in June - July of 2024 with marleemutt and another potential roommate in MD where I have plenty of connections who will keep me safe. I will make attempts to still move in November-February 2024/2025 if I am not successful in moving this summer. However so far, a 2-3 bedroom apartment can be roughly 1.7K - 2.3K USD. The cost of 1st months rent, a deposit, and the quote for a moving company would be roughly 5k. I currently live in a state who's minimum wage is 7$/hr but have managed to get a job that pays roughly 14$/hr. Even if I work full time, I will be unable to save such money due to expenses such as commuting, bills, groceries, and more. Despite living in a household, I pay for my own amenities because of my high needs. I will save as much as I possibly can along side this GFM in order to finally escape my toxic home.

Even if you can't donate, sharing and boosting does enough. I want to finally start a happy life, I want to make *real* progress in my mental health. But I can only do it with everyone's help.