Firstly, this was not a position that I thought I'd ever see myself in. The irony in that statement is that I've struggled for years. However, I've always been proud of making it through hardship, even if barely.

Many local people know me for my volunteer work within our creative community. They also know that being transparent about the uglier things that we face has always meant everything to me. How could I ever build genuine community spaces rooted within authenticity, if I'm not authentic?

I'm open about struggle, trauma, survival, and pain. That is why I've challenged my own ego and fear to create this. Unexpected expenses popped up last year that I was not prepared to tackle. Trying to tackle them on my own made everything a million times worse. I took out payday loans, started doing clinical trials for extra income, and very uncomfortably began borrowing money.

This is the first financial hardship that has me on the line to lose my apartment. I never used to find debt that I couldn't somehow make it through until fairly recently. Being diagnosed neurodivergent many years ago helped me learn to manage my own capacity. I'm great at building community spaces (with lots of work and wonderful volunteers) but I've always struggled with functioning in the world as is. Volunteering has enabled me to contribute to society in a way that I never could have otherwise; because I discovered many years ago that some of us are simply not cut-out to meet the standard quota.

Since this is the result of failing to conquer a form of financial hardship that I couldn't fight my way out of for once, this is it. Though both my pride and ego are feeling the sting with every word I type, I'd honestly tell any other person to suck it up and do what's necessary, because it won't always be like this.