Help Viv Moore and her 100 year old Mum, Ethel!
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This is Viv and her mum, Ethel, who turned 100 in 2019!
Ethel is a vibrant, remarkable woman with an equally remarkable history. She also has vascular dementia with challenging behavioural aspects. This means Ethel requires a lot of costly support.
Even though Ethel is suffering as a result of her dementia, and requires a great deal of support, she is in remarkably good physical shape. Nevertheless, Viv spends 6 days a week at her mother’s home augmenting the basic care package that Ethel currently receives. This has greatly impacted not only Viv’s personal life, but has effectively put her teaching and performance art career on hold and ceased her earning ability. Viv’s sister Jen shares the financial burden and visits twice a year from England but she has no financial capacity to further assist with Ethel’s care.
With little to no income and no ability to take on more debt, Viv has found herself in a jam and desperately needs our help.
Our mission is to raise enough money to help Viv cover a minimum of 1 year of fees and additional Personal Support Workers, because no one should be penalized for the feat of living beyond 100!
After the sudden death of her husband John in 1993, Ethel continued to live in their rental apartment in Vancouver for 23 years. She was forced out of her home when the apartment was sold, so came to live with Viv and Dave in Toronto. Viv’s sister Jen, a constant support and lifeline in this journey, has always called twice a day. The “Three Musketeers”, as they refer to themselves, have been a tight, loving unit. However, four months into this new arrangement, it became unmanageable for Ethel to continue to stay with Viv and Dave.
So, Ethel moved to Chartwell Grenadier Retirement Residence near High Park, where she has lived for the last 4 years. Ethel had some savings but at over 100 years of age that quickly ran out and her daughter Viv’s financial situation is dire as a result. In order for Ethel to stay at Grenadier, we need to help Viv now.
We, like many of you who know her, love and adore Viv. She has always been there for us as a friend, a creative collaborator, and a gifted and generous teacher in the performing arts. We have also witnessed firsthand, (or through social media), the special bond she shares with her dear mum, Ethel. We’ve come to know them as dancing partners, mischievous collaborators, and delightful warrior spirits. Viv has openly shared Ethel with all of us and none can say we are not richer for those experiences.
What Viv hasn’t shared is Ethel’s ongoing illness and quite frankly, the soul-destroying emotional torture that comes with the never-ending care that is needed for someone suffering from dementia. Many of us have been witness to the incredible levels of stress that Viv has been put under these last years - stress that has recently been heightened and compounded by the Covid-19 lockdown and a new set of worries that come with caring for anyone living in communal accommodation. As friends of hers, we are continually inspired by Viv's selfless commitment to her dear Mum and we wish for her some respite from this difficult, and ongoing labour of love.
The Math:
As some of you know, a Retirement Residence isn’t all inclusive: you get the basics which amounts to a room and one meal a day. Everything above and beyond that costs - and it costs a lot.
The monthly rent at Grenadier is $4500 and Ethel’s minimal pensions barely cover half of that. The cost of additional private support workers comes to at least another $2000 a month, and there are many other incidental costs. Looking at their finances, Viv figures that she has enough left in the bank to keep Ethel in this stable, familiar environment for only about 2 more months!
Our goal is to cover a minimum of 1 year of expenses to make sure that Ethel can remain where she currently lives, keeping alive for her the ‘vital window on life’. And with the supports that will allow Viv to return to a reasonable work/life balance.
Whatever you can give will help, and if we each reach out to our larger community by sharing, we can make sure that Ethel can continue to live in “Supportive Independence”, as Viv herself puts it. Think about it. Such a gift to still be able to do so at her age!
We know that times are difficult for a lot of people right now. And we also know that many of you understand from personal experience how hard it is to care for an aging parent or loved-one, let alone have enough funds set aside to ensure that they are well-cared for up to and past their centenary. And Viv has given others so much support through her work as a teacher and as a caring, generous friend, we hope we can return that support in this time of extreme need.
We’ll keep you up-to-date with regular postings and invite you to share your words of encouragement and support directly with Viv and Ethel.
We hope you'll watch the video to get a taste of the fabulousness that is Eth and Viv! https://www.facebook.com/634915163804415/videos/2366392833666218/
In Viv’s Words:
Viv reached out to us for help and we want to share, with her permission, some of what she wrote to us.
“You know I like to take care of things myself. I’ve always managed to get by myself without asking for anything because that leaves me vulnerable and thinking that I can’t cope. Both Jen and I have done that since leaving home at 17 and 18.
I never had any intention of revealing personal details of Mum’s situation to Facebook. It’s a personal journey, it’s a mental health issue, it’s a hidden unveiling, it’s something that ‘we don’t talk about.' My heart aches. I want people to see how amazing and loving she is, a best friend to Jen and I. It’s the disease that is ugly, not the person.
My ask for help is something I therefore feel strange about whilst knowing that I have absolutely no alternative. Mum would be horrified to know I was asking for money…”
About Ethel
When Ethel May Massie was born in 1919 in Wordsley, Worcestershire, England, the First World War had just ended; Women over 30 had just got the vote; the influenza epidemic had just ended; Ethel had sleeping sickness when she was about 2 and they thought she wouldn’t live; T.B. epidemic passed her by. She came from a poor family, her parents died too early, no grandparents. During World War Two, she dealt with rations and bombings and was a Final Aero Inspector for measuring wing nuts and triggers for guns using a micrometer. Vital war work for Spitfires.
All this, and here she is still going strong! Read more about Ethel’s extraordinary life in Viv’s tribute for her 100th birthday.
Ethel May Moore - THIS IS YOUR LIFE
Ethel May Massie, with an ‘ie’, was the youngest of 4 girls born in 1919 in Wordsley, Worcestershire, England, a small village between the beautiful green belt and the Black Country, one of the main places for the Industrial Revolution.
(The First World War had just ended; Women over 30 had just got the vote; by 1928 it was extended to those over 21; influenza epidemic had just ended). Ethel had sleeping sickness when she was about 2 and they thought she wouldn’t live.
Ethel hated school. She endured the sarcastic headmaster, Mr Bache and the harsh rules, used slate and chalk, and then later pens dipped in ink. She loved her Chicks Own comic, whip and top, marbles, bowls down the street, two ball against the wall and playing with her skipping rope that Tommy Harbache loved, which stretched across the street, easy to do as the only traffic were horses and carts delivering blocks of salt. She loved country dancing at school and represented her school at Cadbury’s when she was about 9. She loved being theatrical with her friend Eileen, doing turns in the house, popping out from a curtain strung up between rooms.
The family struggled to make ends meet in all ways, especially when her father was laid off as a cabinetmaker for a younger man. There were times that she wore shoes to school with cardboard in to cover holes in the soles. Her Aunty sent parcels of dripping meat fat) through the post to eat on toast, and many times her dinner would consist of plain biscuits and custard). Like many, she had to leave school at age 14. (In 1918, leaving age from school had gone from 12 to 14). There was no chance of higher education, unless you were able to pay for it, and so the four girls either went into service (live in servants) or started work. Job opportunities were limited.
Growing up, there was no bathroom, but an outside toilet accessed down the path with a candle, bad on rainy and windy nights. (this is what my sis and I had as well). We all washed in a tub in front of the fire). There was no electricity but gas, and heaven forbid you didn’t have a penny to put in the meter when you needed light most. There was a wind-up gramophone with records brought by her Aunty Ethel, and later, a wireless that they gathered around to hear Churchill’s speeches about a new war.
In the mid-1920s unemployment had risen to over 2 million, when there was the great strike of 1926.
Ethel had a few jobs, including in glass inspection at Stuart’s Crystal, an international institution for glassmaking, and as an embroidery pattern fitter until the Second World War broke out, when she was called up.
Her dear Mum died on Christmas Day 1939, when she was just 20, and her father was dying of cancer in 1942. She had to go to a tribunal in order to stay to help keep the home going instead of joining the forces. So instead she travelled miles to work on machines to make haversacks and putties for the soldiers and then went to training college to become a Final Aero Inspector for measuring wing nuts and triggers for guns using a micrometer. Vital war work for Spitfires.
There were heavy bombing raids to Coventry and Birmingham, very close to home. 1,852 tons of bombs were dropped in the Birmingham Blitz (1940-43). She spent most nights cramped in the bomb shelter down the garden and the whole of the war dealing with blackouts and heavy rationing. Rationing started in 1939. For instance, you were allowed 2-3 pints of milk a week; I egg a week, (rationing only ended in 1954). Clothes were rationed till 1949. She had to save coupons to buy clothes. Tights weren’t invented and stockings were impossible to come by, so women put colouring on their legs and painted a seam down the back with a crayon. Mum said that if they saw a queue, they just joined it, then asked what people were queueing for.
She loved old time dancing at the local church hall and other local halls that were popular and was good at it. She always liked to match her clothes and can still tell you what colour her outfits were on a particular occasion including the trends of 1930’s and 1940’s.
Ethel met Francis John during the war. Handsome John with the dusky eyes was a Shropshire lad. John never knew his father, was given up by his mother and passed around as a child, being found on the doorstep at the age of 2 with bread and beer. So, he joined the Territorials on weekends at a young age. He was therefore one of the first to be called up when war was announced. He was known as Popeye because of his comic turn on many a table. One leave he had nowhere to go, so an army pal who invited him home pointing to his wedding photo with 2 bridesmaids, said “you can choose from one of these 2”. Our Dad said “I’ll have this one!” Ethel and John met once. Second time, he proposed. She accepted and they got married on his next leave, August 15th, 1942. He wore his uniform and borrowed the chaplain’s shoes without him knowing. He soon went overseas and fought with 4th KSLI attached to the 11th Armoured Division, through France, Belgium, Holland and Germany. He was a D Day veteran and his unit was one of the first in to liberate Belsen-Bergen Concentration Camp.
He never spoke of too much but just a couple of funny stories. The proposal may have sounded quirky but the enduring love affair lasted 51 years. They adored each other.
There have been many, many tragedies in Ethel’s life. Her sister had electro shock therapy, (in the 50s a very popular way to ‘treat women who were depressed’) and she died by suicide, found by Mum in the canal. Mum is made of stern stuff and soldiered on.
2 daughters, Jen and Viv, 3 budgerigars, I rabbit, I mouse, 1 dog and several chickens all meant many, many amazing memories including local holidays, trips, ballet, tap and acrobatic classes, parachute jumping - that was Jen when she was only 17 - and multiple jobs to keep the bills paid and to provide their daughters with opportunities. Ethel was a school dinner server at the local school. I hear that when Canadians returned from fighting, they were offered land or a house. Not in England, Dad was unemployed and obtained work in a factory. He was made redundant at age 55 from Jensen Motors where he was a finisher on leather interiors of cars, and they both took a holiday to Canada to visit Viv, who had emigrated by herself 2 years before. John hated not working and was unable to find employment in England in the mid-seventies. Bravely deciding to emigrate in 1977, they enjoyed a year and half in Calgary before moving to Vancouver.
They both had a few temp jobs when first arriving, but my favourite is when she worked in a thrift shop and one of her many gay and transgender customers asked if “she’d got any tits”(bras). She sold many a bra after that becoming colour consultant and adviser. Also, the man with one leg who constantly took I shoe and she was left with singles. She worked at Woodward’s in the china department, which she loved as she was able to use her knowledge from England of Stuart Crystal, Wedgwood, Royal Doulton etc. Her heart has always been in England, even though she made a big necessary leap to find new opportunities unavailable to them at the time.
Ethel had been in the local Pantomime Society in England and then became a dancing member of the West End Community Centre, downtown Vancouver and at New Westminster and a fitness buff at the West Van Senior’s Centre. She and John were active members of the Legion in West Vancouver, Branch 60, where she received a long service award for 30 yrs. John had been president for 6 years. Jen’s friend in London named her Lady Spode after she won a Spode tea service, and the name stuck.
After Dad died suddenly of a massive heart attack one morning on the street in West Vancouver in 1993, Police came to her door to inform her, she vowed she would not just shut herself away. Devastated, she carried on, taking over the Entertainment, Ways and Means and visiting Hospitals, as well as serving veteran’s lunches, poppy collecting and counting and speaking about Veterans in schools and even dressed as a bear in a parade. She was also the salsa queen on Ambleside sea front up to 2015. She was adored by everyone in the village of West Van and by her Legion family and would dance the night away many evenings. She was independent and game for anything thrown at her.
Ethel has attended every Royal event she could possibly manage, including:
1953 - the Queen’s Coronation
1969 - the Investiture of the Prince of Wales at Caernarfon Castle
1973 - wedding of Princess Anne
1977 - the Queen’s Silver Jubilee (3 weeks before they emigrated, poor John was left to do the packing!)
1992 - Garden Party at Buckingham Palace (this was the last time John was in London)
1995 - 50th Anniversary of VJ Day when we hoisted Ethel up on a gate in front of Buckingham Palace to get a better view, it was exceptionally hot.
2002 - the Queen’s Golden Jubilee (during the day in the mall for the fly past and in the evening on top of a friends shoulders in Green Park to see the concert in the palace and on the roof.
2011 - the wedding of Prince William and Kate
2012 - four days of celebrations for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee
If we totalled all the hours spent standing, waiting and cheering for Royal events plus all the pageantry we'd log up thousands of hours.
Mum and Dad (Ethel and John) were to attend the 50th anniversary of the D Day landings in 1994. However, he died mere months before and so the 3 ‘girls’ went with his comrades from his battalion, to Normandy and the beaches and Ethel proudly received a medal and award for John on his behalf.
Ethel has been, and continues to be an amazing Mum, who has selflessly put herself last in order to steer a family through life. The biggest blessing she and Dad ever bestowed on Jen and I was for us to do whatever made us happy. There were no expectations or judgments from them on our career choices or boyfriends, allowing us to be free spirits and make choices and mistakes and freely follow our hearts. For that I will ever be grateful.
There was a hard side to this though, Jen was in London, England, I was living in various cities in Canada and England and travelling through Central & South America and our parents were in Canada.
However, the upside was we always visited each other, keeping in constant touch and doing road trips, living lives that needed to be lived and laughing constantly; she flew to England every 2 or 3 years; we 3 girls phoned each other every day since John died in 1993. We became the Three Musketeers.
Ethel is her own person. She has the strength of an ox, hates being patronized, has a will of iron, a curiosity of the world, people that keep her youthful and a wicked sense of the ridiculous which makes us laugh. She knew about Lady Gaga way before we did. She is an amazing example and resource for Jen and I as she has a story for everything and everyone. “Oh, I remember Mrs Webb, she lived at Number 10 and she…………”. She has a sense of the dramatic and did I mention loves to dance. She has been in a dance show with me (Viv) called “Hags” and also danced with me in a film in England, Waking the Witch. Many times, we have creative dance spurts we do together for fun.
In 2016, at the age of 96.5, Ethel’s rented apartment of 37 years was sold. Big huge emotional decisions had to be made and she chose to live with me in Toronto. Unfortunately, there were sicknesses. However, I am closer in distance than I have been for many years, which makes it easier to hang out.
CHAMPAGNE TOAST
We all wish Ethel May Moore – 100 years old today – our love. We honour your love, grace, strength, spirit and fortitude.
TO MUM
https://www.facebook.com/pg/Help-Viv-Moore-and-her-100-year-old-Mum-Ethel-634915163804415/about/?ref=page_internal
Ethel is a vibrant, remarkable woman with an equally remarkable history. She also has vascular dementia with challenging behavioural aspects. This means Ethel requires a lot of costly support.
Even though Ethel is suffering as a result of her dementia, and requires a great deal of support, she is in remarkably good physical shape. Nevertheless, Viv spends 6 days a week at her mother’s home augmenting the basic care package that Ethel currently receives. This has greatly impacted not only Viv’s personal life, but has effectively put her teaching and performance art career on hold and ceased her earning ability. Viv’s sister Jen shares the financial burden and visits twice a year from England but she has no financial capacity to further assist with Ethel’s care.
With little to no income and no ability to take on more debt, Viv has found herself in a jam and desperately needs our help.
Our mission is to raise enough money to help Viv cover a minimum of 1 year of fees and additional Personal Support Workers, because no one should be penalized for the feat of living beyond 100!
After the sudden death of her husband John in 1993, Ethel continued to live in their rental apartment in Vancouver for 23 years. She was forced out of her home when the apartment was sold, so came to live with Viv and Dave in Toronto. Viv’s sister Jen, a constant support and lifeline in this journey, has always called twice a day. The “Three Musketeers”, as they refer to themselves, have been a tight, loving unit. However, four months into this new arrangement, it became unmanageable for Ethel to continue to stay with Viv and Dave.
So, Ethel moved to Chartwell Grenadier Retirement Residence near High Park, where she has lived for the last 4 years. Ethel had some savings but at over 100 years of age that quickly ran out and her daughter Viv’s financial situation is dire as a result. In order for Ethel to stay at Grenadier, we need to help Viv now.
We, like many of you who know her, love and adore Viv. She has always been there for us as a friend, a creative collaborator, and a gifted and generous teacher in the performing arts. We have also witnessed firsthand, (or through social media), the special bond she shares with her dear mum, Ethel. We’ve come to know them as dancing partners, mischievous collaborators, and delightful warrior spirits. Viv has openly shared Ethel with all of us and none can say we are not richer for those experiences.
What Viv hasn’t shared is Ethel’s ongoing illness and quite frankly, the soul-destroying emotional torture that comes with the never-ending care that is needed for someone suffering from dementia. Many of us have been witness to the incredible levels of stress that Viv has been put under these last years - stress that has recently been heightened and compounded by the Covid-19 lockdown and a new set of worries that come with caring for anyone living in communal accommodation. As friends of hers, we are continually inspired by Viv's selfless commitment to her dear Mum and we wish for her some respite from this difficult, and ongoing labour of love.
The Math:
As some of you know, a Retirement Residence isn’t all inclusive: you get the basics which amounts to a room and one meal a day. Everything above and beyond that costs - and it costs a lot.
The monthly rent at Grenadier is $4500 and Ethel’s minimal pensions barely cover half of that. The cost of additional private support workers comes to at least another $2000 a month, and there are many other incidental costs. Looking at their finances, Viv figures that she has enough left in the bank to keep Ethel in this stable, familiar environment for only about 2 more months!
Our goal is to cover a minimum of 1 year of expenses to make sure that Ethel can remain where she currently lives, keeping alive for her the ‘vital window on life’. And with the supports that will allow Viv to return to a reasonable work/life balance.
Whatever you can give will help, and if we each reach out to our larger community by sharing, we can make sure that Ethel can continue to live in “Supportive Independence”, as Viv herself puts it. Think about it. Such a gift to still be able to do so at her age!
We know that times are difficult for a lot of people right now. And we also know that many of you understand from personal experience how hard it is to care for an aging parent or loved-one, let alone have enough funds set aside to ensure that they are well-cared for up to and past their centenary. And Viv has given others so much support through her work as a teacher and as a caring, generous friend, we hope we can return that support in this time of extreme need.
We’ll keep you up-to-date with regular postings and invite you to share your words of encouragement and support directly with Viv and Ethel.
We hope you'll watch the video to get a taste of the fabulousness that is Eth and Viv! https://www.facebook.com/634915163804415/videos/2366392833666218/
In Viv’s Words:
Viv reached out to us for help and we want to share, with her permission, some of what she wrote to us.
“You know I like to take care of things myself. I’ve always managed to get by myself without asking for anything because that leaves me vulnerable and thinking that I can’t cope. Both Jen and I have done that since leaving home at 17 and 18.
I never had any intention of revealing personal details of Mum’s situation to Facebook. It’s a personal journey, it’s a mental health issue, it’s a hidden unveiling, it’s something that ‘we don’t talk about.' My heart aches. I want people to see how amazing and loving she is, a best friend to Jen and I. It’s the disease that is ugly, not the person.
My ask for help is something I therefore feel strange about whilst knowing that I have absolutely no alternative. Mum would be horrified to know I was asking for money…”
About Ethel
When Ethel May Massie was born in 1919 in Wordsley, Worcestershire, England, the First World War had just ended; Women over 30 had just got the vote; the influenza epidemic had just ended; Ethel had sleeping sickness when she was about 2 and they thought she wouldn’t live; T.B. epidemic passed her by. She came from a poor family, her parents died too early, no grandparents. During World War Two, she dealt with rations and bombings and was a Final Aero Inspector for measuring wing nuts and triggers for guns using a micrometer. Vital war work for Spitfires.
All this, and here she is still going strong! Read more about Ethel’s extraordinary life in Viv’s tribute for her 100th birthday.
Ethel May Moore - THIS IS YOUR LIFE
Ethel May Massie, with an ‘ie’, was the youngest of 4 girls born in 1919 in Wordsley, Worcestershire, England, a small village between the beautiful green belt and the Black Country, one of the main places for the Industrial Revolution.
(The First World War had just ended; Women over 30 had just got the vote; by 1928 it was extended to those over 21; influenza epidemic had just ended). Ethel had sleeping sickness when she was about 2 and they thought she wouldn’t live.
Ethel hated school. She endured the sarcastic headmaster, Mr Bache and the harsh rules, used slate and chalk, and then later pens dipped in ink. She loved her Chicks Own comic, whip and top, marbles, bowls down the street, two ball against the wall and playing with her skipping rope that Tommy Harbache loved, which stretched across the street, easy to do as the only traffic were horses and carts delivering blocks of salt. She loved country dancing at school and represented her school at Cadbury’s when she was about 9. She loved being theatrical with her friend Eileen, doing turns in the house, popping out from a curtain strung up between rooms.
The family struggled to make ends meet in all ways, especially when her father was laid off as a cabinetmaker for a younger man. There were times that she wore shoes to school with cardboard in to cover holes in the soles. Her Aunty sent parcels of dripping meat fat) through the post to eat on toast, and many times her dinner would consist of plain biscuits and custard). Like many, she had to leave school at age 14. (In 1918, leaving age from school had gone from 12 to 14). There was no chance of higher education, unless you were able to pay for it, and so the four girls either went into service (live in servants) or started work. Job opportunities were limited.
Growing up, there was no bathroom, but an outside toilet accessed down the path with a candle, bad on rainy and windy nights. (this is what my sis and I had as well). We all washed in a tub in front of the fire). There was no electricity but gas, and heaven forbid you didn’t have a penny to put in the meter when you needed light most. There was a wind-up gramophone with records brought by her Aunty Ethel, and later, a wireless that they gathered around to hear Churchill’s speeches about a new war.
In the mid-1920s unemployment had risen to over 2 million, when there was the great strike of 1926.
Ethel had a few jobs, including in glass inspection at Stuart’s Crystal, an international institution for glassmaking, and as an embroidery pattern fitter until the Second World War broke out, when she was called up.
Her dear Mum died on Christmas Day 1939, when she was just 20, and her father was dying of cancer in 1942. She had to go to a tribunal in order to stay to help keep the home going instead of joining the forces. So instead she travelled miles to work on machines to make haversacks and putties for the soldiers and then went to training college to become a Final Aero Inspector for measuring wing nuts and triggers for guns using a micrometer. Vital war work for Spitfires.
There were heavy bombing raids to Coventry and Birmingham, very close to home. 1,852 tons of bombs were dropped in the Birmingham Blitz (1940-43). She spent most nights cramped in the bomb shelter down the garden and the whole of the war dealing with blackouts and heavy rationing. Rationing started in 1939. For instance, you were allowed 2-3 pints of milk a week; I egg a week, (rationing only ended in 1954). Clothes were rationed till 1949. She had to save coupons to buy clothes. Tights weren’t invented and stockings were impossible to come by, so women put colouring on their legs and painted a seam down the back with a crayon. Mum said that if they saw a queue, they just joined it, then asked what people were queueing for.
She loved old time dancing at the local church hall and other local halls that were popular and was good at it. She always liked to match her clothes and can still tell you what colour her outfits were on a particular occasion including the trends of 1930’s and 1940’s.
Ethel met Francis John during the war. Handsome John with the dusky eyes was a Shropshire lad. John never knew his father, was given up by his mother and passed around as a child, being found on the doorstep at the age of 2 with bread and beer. So, he joined the Territorials on weekends at a young age. He was therefore one of the first to be called up when war was announced. He was known as Popeye because of his comic turn on many a table. One leave he had nowhere to go, so an army pal who invited him home pointing to his wedding photo with 2 bridesmaids, said “you can choose from one of these 2”. Our Dad said “I’ll have this one!” Ethel and John met once. Second time, he proposed. She accepted and they got married on his next leave, August 15th, 1942. He wore his uniform and borrowed the chaplain’s shoes without him knowing. He soon went overseas and fought with 4th KSLI attached to the 11th Armoured Division, through France, Belgium, Holland and Germany. He was a D Day veteran and his unit was one of the first in to liberate Belsen-Bergen Concentration Camp.
He never spoke of too much but just a couple of funny stories. The proposal may have sounded quirky but the enduring love affair lasted 51 years. They adored each other.
There have been many, many tragedies in Ethel’s life. Her sister had electro shock therapy, (in the 50s a very popular way to ‘treat women who were depressed’) and she died by suicide, found by Mum in the canal. Mum is made of stern stuff and soldiered on.
2 daughters, Jen and Viv, 3 budgerigars, I rabbit, I mouse, 1 dog and several chickens all meant many, many amazing memories including local holidays, trips, ballet, tap and acrobatic classes, parachute jumping - that was Jen when she was only 17 - and multiple jobs to keep the bills paid and to provide their daughters with opportunities. Ethel was a school dinner server at the local school. I hear that when Canadians returned from fighting, they were offered land or a house. Not in England, Dad was unemployed and obtained work in a factory. He was made redundant at age 55 from Jensen Motors where he was a finisher on leather interiors of cars, and they both took a holiday to Canada to visit Viv, who had emigrated by herself 2 years before. John hated not working and was unable to find employment in England in the mid-seventies. Bravely deciding to emigrate in 1977, they enjoyed a year and half in Calgary before moving to Vancouver.
They both had a few temp jobs when first arriving, but my favourite is when she worked in a thrift shop and one of her many gay and transgender customers asked if “she’d got any tits”(bras). She sold many a bra after that becoming colour consultant and adviser. Also, the man with one leg who constantly took I shoe and she was left with singles. She worked at Woodward’s in the china department, which she loved as she was able to use her knowledge from England of Stuart Crystal, Wedgwood, Royal Doulton etc. Her heart has always been in England, even though she made a big necessary leap to find new opportunities unavailable to them at the time.
Ethel had been in the local Pantomime Society in England and then became a dancing member of the West End Community Centre, downtown Vancouver and at New Westminster and a fitness buff at the West Van Senior’s Centre. She and John were active members of the Legion in West Vancouver, Branch 60, where she received a long service award for 30 yrs. John had been president for 6 years. Jen’s friend in London named her Lady Spode after she won a Spode tea service, and the name stuck.
After Dad died suddenly of a massive heart attack one morning on the street in West Vancouver in 1993, Police came to her door to inform her, she vowed she would not just shut herself away. Devastated, she carried on, taking over the Entertainment, Ways and Means and visiting Hospitals, as well as serving veteran’s lunches, poppy collecting and counting and speaking about Veterans in schools and even dressed as a bear in a parade. She was also the salsa queen on Ambleside sea front up to 2015. She was adored by everyone in the village of West Van and by her Legion family and would dance the night away many evenings. She was independent and game for anything thrown at her.
Ethel has attended every Royal event she could possibly manage, including:
1953 - the Queen’s Coronation
1969 - the Investiture of the Prince of Wales at Caernarfon Castle
1973 - wedding of Princess Anne
1977 - the Queen’s Silver Jubilee (3 weeks before they emigrated, poor John was left to do the packing!)
1992 - Garden Party at Buckingham Palace (this was the last time John was in London)
1995 - 50th Anniversary of VJ Day when we hoisted Ethel up on a gate in front of Buckingham Palace to get a better view, it was exceptionally hot.
2002 - the Queen’s Golden Jubilee (during the day in the mall for the fly past and in the evening on top of a friends shoulders in Green Park to see the concert in the palace and on the roof.
2011 - the wedding of Prince William and Kate
2012 - four days of celebrations for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee
If we totalled all the hours spent standing, waiting and cheering for Royal events plus all the pageantry we'd log up thousands of hours.
Mum and Dad (Ethel and John) were to attend the 50th anniversary of the D Day landings in 1994. However, he died mere months before and so the 3 ‘girls’ went with his comrades from his battalion, to Normandy and the beaches and Ethel proudly received a medal and award for John on his behalf.
Ethel has been, and continues to be an amazing Mum, who has selflessly put herself last in order to steer a family through life. The biggest blessing she and Dad ever bestowed on Jen and I was for us to do whatever made us happy. There were no expectations or judgments from them on our career choices or boyfriends, allowing us to be free spirits and make choices and mistakes and freely follow our hearts. For that I will ever be grateful.
There was a hard side to this though, Jen was in London, England, I was living in various cities in Canada and England and travelling through Central & South America and our parents were in Canada.
However, the upside was we always visited each other, keeping in constant touch and doing road trips, living lives that needed to be lived and laughing constantly; she flew to England every 2 or 3 years; we 3 girls phoned each other every day since John died in 1993. We became the Three Musketeers.
Ethel is her own person. She has the strength of an ox, hates being patronized, has a will of iron, a curiosity of the world, people that keep her youthful and a wicked sense of the ridiculous which makes us laugh. She knew about Lady Gaga way before we did. She is an amazing example and resource for Jen and I as she has a story for everything and everyone. “Oh, I remember Mrs Webb, she lived at Number 10 and she…………”. She has a sense of the dramatic and did I mention loves to dance. She has been in a dance show with me (Viv) called “Hags” and also danced with me in a film in England, Waking the Witch. Many times, we have creative dance spurts we do together for fun.
In 2016, at the age of 96.5, Ethel’s rented apartment of 37 years was sold. Big huge emotional decisions had to be made and she chose to live with me in Toronto. Unfortunately, there were sicknesses. However, I am closer in distance than I have been for many years, which makes it easier to hang out.
CHAMPAGNE TOAST
We all wish Ethel May Moore – 100 years old today – our love. We honour your love, grace, strength, spirit and fortitude.
TO MUM
https://www.facebook.com/pg/Help-Viv-Moore-and-her-100-year-old-Mum-Ethel-634915163804415/about/?ref=page_internal
Co-organizers (4)
Lynda Hill
Organizer
Toronto, ON
Viv Moore
Beneficiary
Ed Sinclair
Co-organizer
Jane Miller
Co-organizer