Hello! My name is Nini/Jennie/Happy, aka 9divine9. I am 23 years old, 5'5 and 80 lbs, and was born into a religious cult.
My parents have told me I have 6-9 months to leave due to my sexuality and not being Christian enough by their standards, even if I attend church weekly to their liking. The religious church has also threatened to have me shunned & disowned, & each night I contemplate whether suicide is a much easier answer than staying here.
I have been content creating since I was 12 to somehow express myself in the bars that enclosed me. Unfortunately, I was forced to move back home to my parents after University and after living alone in a townhouse attempting to end my own life. Finding a job with my degree has been harder than I anticipated. I lived in my car for some time to attend classes while paying every cent to my tuition. Returning home meant returning to the religious cult that relives my trauma & scars that I thought I had finally ran away from—the mental, emotional, physical abuse, predatory misogynistic men, and religious abuse and system.
I don't have much in my bank account due to paying for my University classes out of my own pocket, paying off my loans, and giving all I have to my demanding father. I'm trying my best to find alternatives and negotiate with my parents, so I'm not sure how much time I have to live here in my childhood home. Maybe they'll talk it out with me again; maybe I can stay at the expense of my mental health. I don't know, I just know right now I am struggling.
But any sort of help would help me find a job, pay my car insurance, help me get my anxiety/depression meds, buy groceries since I am underweight, help me feed my cat, and help me get up on my feet to somehow find an alternative living situation when the right time comes.
I rushed my living situation at 20 years old and ran away before, resulting in a car living situation and suicide attempts, so I would like to be strategic this next time around, whenever that may be. A year from now, a couple years, or months, I do not know.
I have the support of my sister in this household, but financially we are both struggling.
Organizer

9divine9 Nini
Organizer
Wildomar, CA