Healing this chapter & beginning the next one

Hi everyone,

Firstly, big round of applause for me! Obviously all the work I've been doing in therapy learning how to ask for help has been working...because here we are.

I'm pretty positive that everyone who reads this is quite aware of the nightmareish last 10 months I've had.

Suicide attempt 1 & 2, homelessness, the breaking of my dearest friendship, a break-up, my first ever court case, near-homelessness again, abandonment by my mentor with no explanation, an entire studio of support ghosting me with no explanation, my employer selling my 2k tattoo machine while I was in the step-up step-down program (not a hospital but still a facility) and, finally to top it all off, an abhorrently cruel amount of untrue accusations and slander... Oh and I'm trying to figure out how to, as an adult sue some people that stole thousands from me... *Sigh*

However, I'm still here. 

On the other side, and recovering slowly but methodically. 

To say I've learnt many lessons is the understatement of a lifetime.

Some days are still hard but I'm seeing farther and farther into the future. Family is treasured, the ones I was born into and the ones chosen. I'm so grateful for those I have gathered around me, I carry that gratitude everyday.

That's kinda why your reading this, thoughts of family and of future. I'm at a point where I can consider returning to work, choosing long-term goals and working to orient myself towards them. (Insert actual applause here) ✨

There is something I desperately need first though.

I need my mom. 

She also needs to hug and hold me, imagine being a world a way while your only child endures the year I've had, unable to do anything besides message. even though it was all happening to me, my heart breaks thinking what she has been through. (If you needed a sign I have far more empathy than the average human can contain...whelp.)

This is the problem I need help to solve, I don't feel like I can go back to work until this chapter of healing is closed, but I can't close it until I see my mom. 

So, here I am asking for help. 

I think 5 weeks would be enough time in California to satisfy and strengthen us both.

That's why I'm trying to raise more than just the price of the plane ticket, I'll be able to stay with my mom and family but I'll also need funds to look after myself while I visit, food, travel etc.

Once I've been able to hug my mom, I can return to Australia.

Re-newed and ready to take on whatever my heart desires!! (the ultimate goal is still buying some land and creating a nuro-wobbly artist commune haha!)

I've never used a go-fund me before, please excuse the long winded story or any social "no-no's"

Thank you for considering my cause and moreso for reading my story; I know it isn't an easy read.

All my love and gratitude,

Isabella Marie Lazuline