Hannah's Hope Team

Hannah Annette Zarubin (December 16, 1994 - October 2, 2025)

Sweet Hannah is at peace, healed and not suffering any more. She saw Jesus, face to face the morning of October 2, 2025.

Thank you for all you have done over the past 4 years. Your support has been a huge blessing to the entire Zarubin Family.

Please see the latest update written by Hannah's sister, Sasha Johnson, for more information.

AUGUST 26, 2025

Hello All,

I’ve been sitting on my couch for hours, trying to figure out how to write this CaringBridge update. I’ve started and erased about 50 different introductory sentences and paragraphs—none of which felt right. Maybe I’ve been putting this off because I know that once these words are written and read by all of you, everything becomes more real. I won’t be able to “pretend” that everything is okay, because the truth is that it’s not.

After weeks of conversations, pro-and-con lists, prayers, and deep thought, I finally made the difficult decision to fly home from Europe at the end of July. I had wanted to stay in Europe, afraid that if I came home something bad would happen and there would be nothing my doctors could do for me. They had already told me back in May that there wasn’t much left they could offer. Still, after much deliberation, I knew it was time for me to be with my family, friends, my dog, my bed, the SUN, and all those little things in California that bring me joy.

I arrived home from Northern Ireland on July 23rd. The flight was fairly easy—just long—but I was greeted by two extremely happy parents and an equally happy dog. Normally, after any trip, my first stop is In-N-Out for a double-double, animal-style cheeseburger with animal fries. But since I’m still on a liquid diet, I had to settle for a milkshake. Definitely not as satisfying, but better than nothing.

I immediately hit the ground running when I got back to California. I had appointments scheduled every day of the week. Honestly, there were so many appointments scheduled when I got home that I almost wished I never came home - lol.

A couple of days after I arrived home, I went to one of my infusion appointments in Berkeley. I told one of my nurses that I was feeling unwell and thought I needed scans of my abdomen and pelvis done. She looped in my nurse practitioner (NP), who agreed and wrote me a referral. On July 28th, I went to the hospital for the scans and to be assessed by the NP at the Cancer Acute Care Center (CACC).

The CACC is a step before the ER for UCSF cancer patients—it’s a place where they can evaluate you and, if needed, admit you directly to the hospital. I had my scans done, and the NP told me the results looked pretty bad. After consulting with the hospital team, they recommended I be admitted right away. That was definitely not what I expected. I figured I’d just be told my tumor had grown and that I’d discuss it with my oncologist at my appointment the following week. Instead, I went home, quickly packed a bag, and headed back to the hospital with my parents.

After arriving at the hospital late that night, a doctor came in and gave us some pretty unfavorable news. It was news that I couldn’t not fully process, because it wasn’t coming directly from my oncologist. I spent the entire week in the hospital, replaying what the doctor had told me, waiting for someone to come in and explain my scans, and to give me a new plan. But that conversation never came. It wasn’t until Friday that I finally sat down face-to-face with my oncologist to hear the truth.

That day, he sat in my room with my parents on either side of me and told me there was nothing more he, or the hospital could do. From here on out the focus would be on managing my pain and keeping me comfortable for the rest of my days.

The first thing I asked was, “How much time do I have left? A year? Six months? Four months?” His answer was far less time than I expected to hear. Therefore, over the next couple of months, I am no longer working. Instead, I am spending time at home with my friends and loved ones, doing the things I love to do and creating memories.

I asked about trying to do chemo again, since I’d been on a bit of a break and/or possibly doing more radiation on the tumors in my pelvis and abdomen. But he told me chemo would not be helpful and shortly after my radiation oncologist confirmed he was unable to work on me as well. My body is too weak. My cells are struggling. At this point, I wouldn’t be able to withstand those treatments and my time would likely be shortened instead of extended.

Before leaving the hospital, I had a huge decision to make about whether I wanted to continue receiving care at UCSF or go on hospice care. While the word and everything associated with the word “hospice” terrifies me, my family and I unlimitedly decided hospice would be the best choice at this moment. It is extremely difficult to fight, and fight, and fight for years, only to be on hospice where the goal is not to fight; the goal is to keep you comfortable while your cancer progresses. I will say, my hospice nurse is really nice and she understands my mindset. She knows I am not giving up. She knows if I experiencing pain or have symptoms that I truly believe a doctor can cure, that I will “exit” hospice, in order to get the help that I need to prolong my life.

The past four weeks have been the toughest weeks of my life and sharing this news with all of you is something I never thought I would have to do. To say that “I only have a couple of months left,” is way worse than saying “I got cancer.” Despite what I have been told, I am a fighter and I won’t stop fighting. I will fight until my last breath, which will hopefully be in about 50 years.

I plan to keep doing everything I can to be healed. I pray to God that the vaccine I was receiving in Germany will still kick in—even though I wasn’t able to get my 7th injection in August—and start working in my body to zap away these tumors. I’m not done living here on earth. Deep down, I truly feel I am not ready to die, so I will do everything I can to stay.

I appreciate all of you so much—for your support financially, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically. Fighting cancer is incredibly lonely, and I could never have done this alone. So much of my strength comes from God, and so much comes from my friends and family—for that, I am endlessly thankful. As I continue to fight, I ask that you please keep praying for me. I’m losing a lot of weight because of this liquid diet and the extreme distension in my stomach. Most days my calorie intake is under 500, and I’m not retaining the nutrition my body needs. Honestly, I am excited if I manage to go to bed having eaten 500 calories.

There’s so much on my mind, so many things I want to say, but I don’t quite know how to yet. My family and I are extremely overwhelmed. This is uncharted territory for all of us, and we’re just doing the best we can. At this time, we deeply appreciate your support, but we also need space to breathe. I am not able to respond to all of your texts and emails or notes on CaringBridge. You can also reach me through my parents at [email redacted].

Thank you for continuing to walk alongside me through this journey. Your prayers, love, and encouragement mean more than I can ever put into words. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I do know I am surrounded by love today—and that brings me peace.

This isn’t the update I wanted to write, but it’s where I am right now. I’ll keep fighting with everything I have—and in the meantime, if anyone figures out how to turn a cheeseburger and fries into a liquid, please let me know. Until then, thank you for loving me through the hard, the messy, and the milkshake-only days.

We will continue to update you all with news we receive when it Is time. And if any of you are good at making soup, please send some my way. Haha.

Hannah xx

APRIL 10, 2025

Thank you!

To each and every one of you who donated to my GoFundMe, sent money to my Venmo, and checks to my home—thank you.

In just over a week, we raised over $90,000. I still can’t quite believe it.

The speed, the generosity, the number of people who showed up—I’ve been brought to tears every single day. It’s overwhelming, in the best way. I haven’t felt this loved and supported in a long time.

Like I’ve said, this treatment in Germany is my last hope. After exhausting nearly every option available here in the U.S., this next step holds the possibility of healing. Maybe even a cure.

Because of you, I can take it.

I don’t know how to properly say thank you for something this big. Just know that I carry your kindness with me into every day.

With love,

Hannah

P.S. I spoke with my radiologist and we will be able to go through with radiation on my pelvic tumor and my tumor adjacent to my L5 vertebrae!! Woohoo! My insurance granted authorization today, so I was able to schedule my pre-radiation appointment. Unfortunately, the first available appointment is on April 29th. Please pray and cross your fingers there is a cancellation before then, I am first on the waiting list. In the meantime, I will continue with the trial in Santa Monica. I will have scans done next week and those scans will determine whether or not I can continue on with the trial.

MARCH 2025

Hey there,

Those who know me well, know I struggle with asking for help. A huge fear of mine is becoming an imposition or burden in people’s lives. I am coming to you all with a HUGE ask. I am asking for your help in raising funds, so that I can receive a possible life saving cancer treatment in Germany.

I have been battling cancer for just over 3 1/2 years, and have exhausted almost all of my treatment options in the U.S. I had a meeting with my oncologist last week which left me fearful, facing an unfavorable future. I have tumors that are rapidly growing, and I am having increasing pain. Last week, UCSF’s tumor board met and discussed my case, specifically my pelvic tumor. The doctors determined surgery would not be a possibility, that it would be “really, really morbid” and I “would never be the same again.” My radiologist determined radiation is an option and I’m scheduled for a video visit with him on Monday. Please pray or send some good vibes my way!

I am incredibly grateful for all of your generous donations made to my GoFundMe campaign over the years. Your kindness and support mean the world to me and has made fighting cancer possible. Your partnership and prayers have enabled me to do therapies which I am certain have sustained my life to get me to this point. I have used the funds for travel while I participated in 2 clinical trials, medical bills, naturopathic appointments and testing, supplements, egg storage, therapy, massages, acupuncture, Eden Valley Institute, supplemented lost income, wigs & items used for surgeries, 3 radiation sessions, 34 chemo rounds & hospitalizations.

Last week I had a video meeting with the German oncologist who works at a German Center of Oncology that we have been working with for the past 10 months. We found this clinic through a friend with stage 4 cancer who was treated successfully. The doctor informed us that they were finally able to retrieve enough DNA, RNA, and active cancer cells from the latest (3rd) biopsy we sent. This means, they are able to create a vaccine from my tumor to fight off my cancer!!! This was the first piece of good news I have received from a doctor in 3 years. You cannot imagine the huge relief I felt! The vaccine offered in Germany is my last hope to not only stabilize my tumors, but to potentially cure me of my “incurable disease.”

While Germany is a go, treatment will not start for 3 long months from now. This means it is imperative I do everything I can to stop my pelvic tumor growth and the growth of the other tumors. It takes 12-14 weeks to produce the vaccine; it should be ready early to mid-June which coincides with the end of my school year. The vaccine is 12 injections given over 1 to 1 ½ years, every 4-6 weeks. I will go over in mid-June and have the first two injections a week apart. I plan to stay with my family and friends in Northern Ireland and England over the summer and have the next two injections without having to travel back and forth from the U.S.

Cancer is a financial burden, and the GoFundMe money has been a Godsend. As I said earlier, I struggle to ask for help; I am more than aware of the hardships taking place around the World. I know my life and situation could be far worse, and for that I am grateful. I am asking you to continue to partner with me financially and in prayer; I know the amount of $80,000 is a HUGE ask which covers the initial sequencing to determine if the vaccine could be made and the cost of making and administering the vaccine. I believe this oncology center in Germany is going to work miracles for my health. Germany is my “Hail Mary,” so to speak. If you’re reading this and feel led to help, can you please share my CaringBridge, GoFundMe, and/or Venmo (@Hannah-Zarubin) on your social media account, with your coworkers, your churches, clubs you belong to, etc. Any contributions raised will be earmarked for Germany only.

Never in a million years did I think I would be diagnosed with cancer, especially not an incurable cancer, in my late 20s. While I am strong and a fighter, fighting cancer would be nearly impossible without the love, support, and partnership from all of you. I am eternally grateful!

With so much love,

Hannah

JANUARY 2025

Hello Everyone,

Happy 2025! With the arrival of the New Year, I find it only fitting to update you all on where I am in my “fight” with cancer. This past year has been difficult for me, especially the past five months. I had been holding out on writing an update, with the hope that great news was in store, but it has not come yet… the keyword being “yet.” Towards the end of May some of my scans showed new and growing tumors. While the majority of my tumors were remaining stable, it became clear to my oncology medical team that the chemo I had been doing was no longer effective. My oncologist and I spoke about the future and decided that come November/December we needed to have a new treatment plan in place.

After that conversation, my mother and I started pursuing a treatment option in Germany. Long story short, this clinic in Germany can create a personalized vaccine from your own active tumor in order to treat your cancer; they are 80% successful if a they are able to create a vaccine. I sent tumor samples from a biopsy in June, but there was not enough DNA, RNA, and active cancer cells in the sample to test/create a vaccine. I am still working with the clinic and will continue to pursue this as an option. The scans done in mid-November revealed a new tumor and another growing tumor around my pelvis. UCSF and the clinic in Germany have been in communication to get a biopsy of these tumors. Unfortunately, my tumors are complex and it is difficult to get a sample with enough DNA, RNA, and active cancer cells, but that won’t stop us from trying again. While I tend to shy away from discussing money, I have paid an initial fee to pursue the vaccine in Germany. If we are able to get an adequate sample to Germany and they can create a vaccine, then the travel and treatment cost would be an additional $75,000.

When we found out in October/November that Germany was still tentative and that I had growing tumors, we began working with a cancer center in Santa Monica to find a clinical trial I qualified for. We worked with this cancer center 3 years ago, and the oncologist/director at this center has a close relationship with my oncologist, which is a blessing. In November I completed my 34th (and currently last) round of chemo; in fact, the Santa Monica doctor was the oncologist who got this chemo approved for use worldwide! I flew to Santa Monica in December and we discussed possible trials. There are two trials I could qualify for and I should be starting one of those trials in the upcoming weeks. Just like Germany, the travel to LA will be out of pocket also.

Cancer is cruel and exhausting. I feel like I am doing everything in my power to stay afloat and live a somewhat “normal” life. I haven’t had a clear treatment plan in months, and if these other avenues don’t work, I will have to start a new form of chemo where I would lose my hair again. I am really hoping bald Hannah doesn’t make a return in 2025, but if she does, so be it.

I would like to thank you all for taking the time to read this journal entry and to all of you who have reached out, prayed, sent good vibes, and supported me in so many ways, including financial. It takes a village, doesn’t it? Please continue to pray for wisdom for us as we make decisions.

May you all have a beautiful start to 2025.

With Love, Hannah

October 2022:

It is always hard to follow Sasha’s gifted writings, but I’ll try . . .

We want to thank all of you for the love and support you are living out with us in this cancer battle. You are lifting us up when we don’t have the strength to continue on.

We come to you now as we are entering a new phase of Hannah’s battle as the cancer is growing once again. We are so grateful for the GoFundMe started 15 months ago when Hannah was first diagnosed and we didn’t even know how much we would need it. Your donations have covered so many costs – medical deductibles and copays, out of network doctors, acupuncture, physical therapy, supplements, Eden Valley, travel, an occasional treatment-targeted massage, and so much more. Those were all expenses Hannah had to pay while on disability from teaching last year.

As Hannah faces another round of chemo, her doctor anticipates that she can work 2-2 ½ out of every 3 weeks (chemo being every 3 weeks), and her substitute teacher’s salary is deducted from Hannah’s paycheck. We realize that there are many people with equally daunting financial challenges. We are very humbled to ask for your continued support, to help ease the burden of this ongoing fight.

We trust God as we continue the battle. He is providing wisdom, strength, comfort and hope. This year I have personally leaned on the story in 2nd Chronicles 20 where King Jehoshaphat was being approached by a vast army. Although alarmed, he sought the Lord and he tells God, “For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you”. A priest answers, “This is what the Lord says to you, ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours but Gods’”. (Great story to finish btw).

I cannot say it any better – the battle is God’s, not ours; we do not know what to do but our eyes are on Him; sometimes we are afraid and discouraged but we have hope; we continue to praise Him for His goodness as we move forward against this enemy. Thank you for moving forward with us.

God bless you, the Zarubin’s

August 2021:

If you know her, you love her. She’s the fiercest Taco Bell loving, puppy snuggling, first grade teacher we know. Hannah is a loyal friend, a hilarious family member, a pseudo chicken farmer, and she has always been a fighter.

In mid-July Hannah developed severe pain her her back. It was originally believed to be muscle pain or recurring kidney stones. As her doctor hunted for issues with the kidney, he discovered that Hannah had masses around her ovary and kidney. Later that day they discovered masses in the pelvis, soft tissue near the femur, and something inside the femur bone. Through testing with UCSF, Hannah's oncologists discovered masses on her spine and rib.

This August, Hannah was diagnosed with stage four cancer.

She has been under the care of excellent oncologists, surgeons, nurses, you name it! They have been proactive and positive, and Hannah has continued to make them laugh with outrageous jokes and witty sarcasm (no surprise). Her team is prepared to treat this cancer with chemo, radiation, and surgery. Hannah’s first surgery will be on one of the tumors on her thoracic spine. After she is cleared by her spinal surgeon and neurosurgeon, she will begin chemotherapy. Her doctors expect this to be a tough battle, but Hannah is up for it, and so is her team!

We are hoping to raise money to help cover Hannah’s medical expenses and reduce the financial stress she will experience as treatment goes on. Because Hannah is on leave at work, she will also soon lose part of her salary to cover the cost of providing a substitute teacher to her first graders.

Hannah has received overwhelming support (thank YOU). And, our whole family has felt the peace of prayer and the strength of our community. We have needed you deeply. We appreciate your support and encouragement.