As many of you may know, 2022 has really not been my year. It begun by moving to a new city with my boyfriend, Ryan, and we were so excited. He had received an amazing job offer and we thought we might take the opportunity for a new start. Things started off well and soon I was promoted too!! We were even starting to look into getting married as we had been together for over 6 years. It seemed like all was falling into plan. Then came April.

On the night of April 7th, Ryan and I went on a mini road trip to Buccee’s. We got BBQ for dinner and listened to our favorite podcast on the way home. Shortly after we started a documentary we had been wanting to see on Netflix. I must have dozed off for maybe 15 minutes when I awoke to him having a seizure. I called 911 and performed CPR for 15 minutes while waiting for EMS. He was taken to the hospital in an ambulance and I followed shortly behind in my vehicle. After what felt like hours waiting, I heard something I never could had fathomed. On that early morning of April 8th, 2022, the love of my life had died. I did not and I still do not know what to do, but I knew I had to do everything I could to live the life Ryan would not be able to.

I returned to work at my dispensary after a few weeks. Things were so hard but I was comforted by those around me in ways I can never thank them for. I tried to find joy where I can, in things like driving and listening to music, which is exactly what I was doing on May 15th, 2022. I was making a short trip out to one of my dispensaries other locations in Shalimar, FL. I was caught in a severe rain and hailstorm so I was driving with as much caution as possible. Somewhere along the way I looked to my left. On the Westbound side of I10 I saw a car spinning across the median. I soon realized that my vehicle was going to be hit and tried to relax as much as one can in that moment. Seconds later I was head on impacted.

While the driver of the other vehicle was okay, the passenger in his car and I were severely injured. I had lacerations on my left hand as well and my elbows and knees, burns on my neck, severe internal and external bruises on my stomach and tailbone, and a broken right ankle. The passenger of the other vehicle, Jay, broke 3 ribs and his pelvis, separated his urethra from his prostate, punctured a lung and bruised the other, and his fractured tailbone. He was hospitalized for 13 weeks and is still needing around the clock care and more surgeries. His amazing mother Dawn had to quit her job to take care of him. I will link a way to donate to them below.

We were both rushed to the hospital where Ryan passed, while I was experiencing severe PTSD. Days later I had surgery to repair my ankle and could not return to work.

Due to the difficult recovery of an ankle fracture like this, I had to spend weeks without walking. I was unable to care for myself as well as left without a vehicle as it was a total loss. My family had to travel multiple times to stay and take care of me which I am beyond grateful for.

Since I was unable to return to work I have not had steady wages since pretty much April. To make matters worse, I was terminated from my job in July because of the amount of time I needed to heal.

Left without my life partner, my ability to walk, my vehicle, and my job, things have been indescribable. Most days are full of sadness, but little bits of joy remain. Starting physical therapy and getting back a vehicle brought a sense of control I had been lacking and came with a joy I had longed for for months. Recently I began working at the dispensary Ryan was managing and I was really starting to think things would be okay. I could finally see the light a little. Then I had the Monday from hell.

October 24th, 2022 I had spent the day conversing with my lawyers and getting ready to meet with the DA along with Jay and Dawn to get some answers about our criminal case. After I went to work at the dispensary. Around 5:30pm we saw a vehicle race into our parking lot followed by Escambia County Sheriff Office vehicles in pursuit. They rounded the corner of our parking lot and before we could get our back to see what had happened we heard a massive crash.

A suspect had been fleeing the cops when a massive chase ensued. They ended in our parking lot where the suspect rear ended my new vehicle, proceeded to get out and try to flee on foot, and was subsequently hit by the ECSO cruiser as they did not have time to react. Upon hearing the accident and seeing the damage I began to have a PTSD episode. The officers asked me if I needed EMS and I declined and responded with this story.

To say this year has been rough would be an understatement. The mental, physical, and financial turmoil these events has caused is almost crippling. I am still trying to find the joy in everyday but my skin is wearing thin. The two separate people who caused accidents to my vehicle seem to not have insurance which has been a very difficult hurdle in receiving any help.

In the midst of all of this I aged out of my health insurance and have had an ever growing stack of medical bills. Currently I am responsible for paying the deductible to get my vehicle fixed. By the end of the year I will also be having to move due to not having Ryan here to help with the cost of living in the home we once shared.

The support from my friends and family has been like no other. You are all truly the reason I am able to keep going. I am thankful for all of the kind words, letters, messages, visits to Pensacola, prayers, love, positive energy, absolutely everything.

Thank you for helping me get back on my feet, figuratively and literally LOL

Help for Jay— https://gofund.me/32a7a7f3