Fund Necessary Top Surgery for Haiden

TL;DR

Haiden needs top surgery and we need $7000 to make it happen! I love Haiden very much and am asking for any donation you're able to make so my partner can have this life-saving surgery <3

Our story:

Some people are just good. They are so very good that you may question the authenticity of their goodness. Well, this person I love is the real good. They’ve made a kinder person out of me (and I was already swerving for butterflies the day we met.) Our first date was over coffee, and after several hours of over-caffeinating our shaky little bodies, I found myself sitting across from them at Joe’s Inn on a frigid January night.

In the way you catch up with a close friend after years spent apart, Haiden and I continued to recount the details of our lives, noting which memories would have certainly been less painful had we been there with the other. I wanted desperately to hold their hand. I wanted them to know that they were finished living this life by themselves. I summoned up my bravery for at least half an hour more, reached across the dark wood table, and wrapped my hand around theirs. In one small gesture, I outed myself to any onlookers. I was a queer woman falling in love, publicly, on my last first date.

I am a sensitive person who keeps matters of the heart close. Even closer now, as we lumber through this frightfully long and fascist Trump era. Still, I am choosing courage and vulnerability in reaching out to you, fueled by a fierce determination to give my love what they need to survive.

It was not long ago, after a seemingly satisfactory day filled with the perfect balance of fun activity and restful relaxation, that I would hold Haiden tightly as they wept, genuinely depleted by their efforts to exist happily in a body that was not right for them. Sometimes I met my partner with boundless comfort and sometimes my reaction was frustration bordering anger. How could my partner be dissatisfied with this gorgeous life that we were so faithfully growing?

As suddenly as those tears flooded in nearly every night, I witnessed a rapid shift in Haiden’s demeanor the moment they realized they could exist in a body that was not an enemy to their internal experience. I saw them linger at the mirror, meet their own eyes, and smile. It was no longer the weight of unsaid grief escaping my partner’s eyes, but a gleaming light colored with flecks of optimism. Their body could perhaps function as friend not foe despite a cold war spanning three decades.

Both an essential and expensive step in solidifying this budding friendship between my partner and their body is for them to undergo top surgery. Insurance stated that it is our responsibility to pay $7000 out-of-pocket. This surgery is considered cosmetic rather than medically necessary even though it is integral for many transmasculine people to achieve quality of life.

I have worked as an art therapist for 6 years and for 11 years, Haiden has worked in non-profits. We are both in dedicated human service careers where our fulfillment stems from helping others feel understood and valued. We would like to be married in the years to come, as we are currently engaged. I want Haiden to feel confident and proud on our wedding day, in photos and in memories. Any amount you donate to my partner’s surgery would pave the way to making these milestone moments come true for us. Thank you!

XO

Natalie

P.S. If you want the entirety of your donation to go to this surgery, you can donate through Venmo to Haiden at @hopperhj